Advice please: What would you do?

Karrie

Really good news. The school have been very good. In a way it's a good thing that this was on Youtube otherwise none of this would have come to light and you have got it as evidence. Would be interested to know how youtube respond.

misty

That's good that the boys have been suspended - it shows the school have taken a proactive approach and not tried to lessen what has been done.

I think maybe your son was prepared to open up to a teacher because he was trying to protect you - and didn't want you to be upset. Don't beat yourself up about being a single parent - children from all families and backgrounds are bullied.

I hope everything works out for you both.

Katmc2k

misty wrote: »

I Don't beat yourself up about being a single parent - children from all families and backgrounds are bullied.

i agree, if you are the only parent it is easy to blame yourself and your status for everything that goes wrong. although it can be something that is picked up on by bullies (i know one boy who's mother is single and his 'friends' constantly make sexual innuendos about her-the fact that his father/her husband is dead makes it all the more shocking that they would behave like this) but the fact is anything can be picked up on by bullies.

ones which i remember from school were: too brainy, too hardworking, too pretty(!) too frigid, too slutty, teachers pet, too religious (it WAS a catholic school???) etc etc. anything could be picked up on.

so you being a single parent is only an issue to you. by the sounds of it you're good enough for two!

PS good result so far....

nats3006

:eek: what a shame made me sick that how disgusting and that boy with the glasses really thought it was hilarious how can anyone think this is just playing??? this certainly does not look like playing and was planned to have it filmed how disgusting i have 2 children of my own not at school yet (3 and 4 month) but to see this behaviour it makes u glad they are at home how awful i really feel for you
*hugs*
nats
x

alba37

Thanks nats for the hugs, they were needed & gratefully received!!!

Thanks Sarah & Kat too for your support & kind words. Also thanks to everyone else who gave their advice, thoughts & opinions. All appreciated.

I started to post last night & my pc crashed so gave up on the idea!!

It's really hard not blaming yourself, I can't help but feel I am responsible for M having a hard time. It's always something that is in my mind & have gone over it & over it. But I do know the fact is, I didn't become a single mum through choice, and tried as hard as I could at the time. No one can change the other person (eg my ex) and I became single through lack of choice!! I have to keep reminding myself of that. (especially when I read single mum on benefits bashing on here!!) M's dad is not in contact much, he made an occasional phone call, saw M about once or twice a year but he would always send a birthday & Christmas card, until this year. M didn't get a birthday card or call from his dad when it was his birthday last month & he’s been down about it since. (we have been apart about 10 years)

M is diabetic and seems to be seen as a freak (by some) cause he has to inject at school. He has IBS but I think that’s pretty much stress related. It all made sense when I found out the bullying had continued after we had thought it was nipped in the bud last year. The bullying came out cause of an incident then too. Before it, I was unaware it was happening. I thought M’s low mood was due to his dad, IBS & diabetes! It’s scary to know how he covered it up and although I had asked him many times if things were ok, he said they were.

M goes to our local school, it non-denominal . He is much happier there than he was at his primary school, and it’s nearer our house. (great for me! Had to take & collect him from primary every day) There was only one other boy & a few girls in his class at primary who went on to this school, so he didn’t know many other kids when he started last year. He has made some friends, but none are in the majority of his classes. His classes had the main bully & his friends in them. I have just found that out over the weekend.

I know it’s a cruel world. Kids can be nasty wee bugg*** I just hope this helps now, I am hoping his school work will improve & he will be happier, which should improve his IBS. Kat I try to do my best for 2, but there are some things I just can’t do!! (……. thinking back to when he was young and always wanted me to play football with him!! :eek: :rotfl: )

I will keep a close eye on things. Thanks again

A x

ktb

Sorry to hear about your son's problems alba!

Would he benefit from some kind of self esteem booster? My friends little girl was being bullied - her school werent quite as proactive as your son's tho. Her mum & dad went and visited lots of kids Judo classes & chose one that had an ethos they really liked (which was all very linked into self esteem and non-violent ways of avoiding trouble).

Their little girl has been a happier & more confident person ever since and even if the bullies involved do try and have a go now her attitude to it is miles better than before. In effect this means the bullying has reduced loads - she's not such an easy or fun target anymore.

Is your son involved in sports or anything like that?

alba37

ktb wrote: »

Sorry to hear about your son's problems alba!

Would he benefit from some kind of self esteem booster? My friends little girl was being bullied - her school werent quite as proactive as your son's tho. Her mum & dad went and visited lots of kids Judo classes & chose one that had an ethos they really liked (which was all very linked into self esteem and non-violent ways of avoiding trouble).

Their little girl has been a happier & more confident person ever since and even if the bullies involved do try and have a go now her attitude to it is miles better than before. In effect this means the bullying has reduced loads - she's not such an easy or fun target anymore.

Is your son involved in sports or anything like that?

Thanks Kbt. Yes, I think that would help him. He actually joined a gym last week as he thinks he's fat. He's not! He only plays basketball, out of school. He doesn't play football, he was studded in the back within the 1st few weeks of rugby in 1st year and wouldn't go back. Don't blame him, his back was a mess.

I got so down about it all eventually, last week, it seemed to get worse (as in, I heard more & more) 5 more boys were "cautioned" by the deputy head. I can't fault the way the school have handled it, they got to the bottom of it quickly and I think dealt with all the boys involved. Basically one grassed another and told what the others were saying/calling him. I was told there was like a vendetta against him. All these boys were in about 70% of his classes and he hadn't told anyone what was happening.

One day last week M was at the doc and when I took him back to school the kids were walking from one building to another. When I drove past one of them kicked or punched my car at the back. I was fuming! Anyway, things seem to be better now, so he says. Although I got called to the school today as he had a hypo. He didn't have his monitor with him, so got there and by that time he had eaten some cake and his blood was in to normal range. I left him there as he seemed better and had an appointment with the deputy head. I got another call about an hour later and had to bring him home. His sugar dropped again, and he looked awful. It's been going down a lot more recently. I just don't think he will tell me if it continues or happens again but I do know all his teachers are aware and hopefully keeping their eyes open, they have said they should have realised what was happening with hind-sight. Anyway, not only does he think he's the fattest person around now, he also thinks he's dyslexic. Think cause he's been getting called stupid. The strange thing is, since he mentioned it and I read up on dyslexia, he could well be.

English has always been a weak subject for him & I always blamed it on his lack of reading! It all adds up. He is average or above on all non English dependant subjects, sciences, maths, art, etc. The school is arranging for him to see the Ed psyc so we'll see what happens. He is also seeing his GP soon so we can chat to him too.

Any advice on where I should go from here re: dyslexia or will I wait and see what M says after seeing the ed psyc & doctor? I have a feeling they'll fog him off, but I think we need to check it out.

A x