Such a mug

Suspiria

Op...what other things has he done to make you feel concerned?

C_Mababejive

asparagus1968 wrote: »

yep,me too!

Well thanks for the explanation. I had thought that these were the issues but dismissed them as almost nothing as it wouldnt even feature on my radar.. Maybe I'm just too thick skinned?

Maryland_Cookie

deleted for personal reasons

C_Mababejive

No no Cookie..now that you have explained further, i can see why you are anxious about it. The answer is that if it causes you such great anxiety then best to cool it and live your own life a little maybe?

Lotus-eater

Maryland_Cookie wrote: »

I had concerns because he was secretive about his phone/messages/texts.

This is probably the only thing you have to worry about, forget the rest, they are just circumstantial. Or he was trying to stop you being worried or judging yourself against the other girl.

Maryland_Cookie wrote: »

He also took me away for what I thought was a special weekend away, and I've found out that he also took her there. I know this might be a woman thing but its really upset me - of all the places we could have gone, why go to the same place?

This is an easy one. If a bloke finds a nice place, he will want to take someone else there too. Maybe not the ideal, but it seems a good idea to a bloke at the time. I've done it myself, it doesn't mean anything.

If he wanted to be with her, he could be, it's that simple. I do feel you have trust issues and you should discuss it with him rather than imagining all sorts of things in your head.

meritaten

I dont get it either............he says he cant remember his last date - but the OP has it pinned down to -a year or two ago! it appears that he is meeting a work colleague tomorrow (in what context the oP doesnt say) whom he had a relationship a year or two ago.

Yep that should get him hanged drawn and quartered! and that was sarcasm btw!
It would be an ideal world if we never met 'old flames' - I live opposite one of my OHs..........but, it was over before I met him and I am certainly not going to beat him or me up just 'in case' there is something still there.
I think YOU are the one with the problem hun - there doesnt seem to me much basis in your post for concluding that he is betraying you.

Anubis_2

Maryland_Cookie wrote: »

Sorry folks, I wasn't that clear in my first post.....bit more info.
He told me he'd seen this girl a year or two ago, when it was less than a year - so not that long ago in my book to completely dismiss it and not mention it, as we were having a conversation about relationships. And he said he couldn't remember when his last date was.

I had concerns because he was secretive about his phone/messages/texts.

I have met this girl and feel a mug that I'd got no idea when I met her that they had been having a relationship. We were also in a group of people who all knew they had been together.

Although he told me he was going out with her today, it was only when pressed. They are collecting something for him quite a distance away and she is helping him with this. He had asked me, but I was at work today and couldn't do it.

I guess I do feel that he wasn't honest in the first instance - especially when we talked about honesty and its importance.

He also took me away for what I thought was a special weekend away, and I've found out that he also took her there. I know this might be a woman thing but its really upset me - of all the places we could have gone, why go to the same place?

There are other things that perhaps don't seem much, but all added together have really made me question his truth and honesty, and for me these are the most important things in a relationship.

I know people might feel I was over reacting, but there are other things plus my gut instinct that made me smell a rat, and feel uncomfortable.

As I said in my first response, it's difficult to advise as only you know the full situation

Go with your gut instinct, although it might be an idea to have a full and frank discussion with him to let him know your concerns

meritaten

All I can say now is - you obviously dont trust him, so finish the relationship.
Then find a man who can recite dates, times and places he went with previous girlfriends. and who doesnt actually work with one of them, or live near one, or isnt in contact with one.
Good luck!

Gingham_R

Instinct is an odd one. It could be that you're good at picking up signs that all is not well or it could be that you're a bit jealous. Only you know which it is.

I spent time with my ex - he was part of my life when I met my husband and he still is. Some people really can just move into friendship quite easily after a relationship. Spending time with her doesn't necessarily indicate a problem.

Gavin83

Maryland_Cookie wrote: »

I had concerns because he was secretive about his phone/messages/texts.

In what respect?