How to make friends

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sistafromanothermista wrote: »

As an idea, a good one, in practice with working full time and having 2 teenagers i just haven't got time the gym is hardly the best place to find friends either (everyone has their ipods in me incl:D)
I was thinking an online friendship would be best due to not really having any interests! that sounds awful but true, unless you count reading?
Thanks for the suggestion though:)

Does your gym not have any group classes?

I'm not sure what your gym is like, but i joined a gym towards the end of last year and have met lots of new people through going to most classes.

It was never my intention to make any friends. I don't think i come across as a particularly friendly person either tbh. But, i've met some really nice people and we've exchanged numbers e.t.c

Emmarillo

There is a website called https://www.interpals.net which is for pen and email friends. I know it's not the same as having friends you see in person, but it might be what you're looking for.

podperson

Completely agree with masonn. I moved across the country a few years and didn't know anybody, for months I would sit at home bemoaning the fact that I had no friends here and then I suddenly realised that they weren't going to come and knock on the door, if I wanted to meet new people I had to make the effort to get out there and do things. I did try meetup but found it a little awkward so looked instead for things I had an interest in, have tried choirs, book groups, film groups, cinema club, coffee morning, dance/fitness classes, evening courses - some were better then others, some I only went to once, some I still do now.
I'm not a naturally outgoing person and I did find it quite difficult at first - I remember one of the earliest meeting walking back and forth past a pub 4 times trying to make myself go in! But if you keep trying then it gets easier and now I just think 'stuff it, what's the worse that can happen' so if someone says they are going out somewhere and I fancy it then I might ask if it's ok if I tag along - if they say, sorry no, then I've not lost anything.
You might think it's not a big deal not to have any interests at the moment but if your kids are teenagers now then in a few years they will be out and about with their friends or even moving out and you don't want to be sat around on your own - so make the effort now to get out and do things
Hope this doesn't come across as preachy, just have been in your situation and know that the only thing that made things better was me resolving to do something about it x

robotmode

I think it's hard as most friends are made at school or work and school is tough! I've made friends at nightschool and also by joining a committee - it's never easy to walk through the door to start with, but you are there for another purpose and often as a result make friends by default. Some of these friendships don't go the course, but at least you did something worthwhile while trying.

Neighbours are trickier, you don't want to invite them round just so they can have a nosy, but a quick hello in passing can soon turn to a chat about the weather and so on - if they are washing their car or mowing their lawn, go and do yours or make an effort to notice some other common ground you may have.

Good luck!

tryingtocutback

Im in the same situation myself. I have just signed up to attend a book club group - the first meeting is next week in a local bar. To be honest, I am really having second thoughts, Im not used to going into bars alone to meet strangers! But, its a means to an end I have noticed there are other "new" people too.

The group meet about once a month which isnt too much of a time commitment either.

I hope you find something suitable.

Tawny75

I am a Girl Guide leader and have met so many friends through that. You wouldn't have to be a leader, just volunteer to help a couple of times a month or something like that.

Moominmamma

If you haven't really got the time or inclination to get out and about I think Emmarillo's idea is fab.

I write to a guy in prison in the States, all my RL friends were completely horrified when I told them (even though he's not a mad axe murderer or anything!!) but we've been writing on and off for 7 years now and I find it really therapeutic. It's great to be able to "talk" to someone about stuff, just generally ramble on, b**ch about anyone who's upset you, lol, and know it's not gonna go any further because you don't associate with any of the same people!!

Another thing, although you're not doing the school run anymore could you join the PTFA or help out at school at all? I got coerced into joining my son's old pre-school committee and made some good friends through that.

Dexters_Indignation

Do NOT do the following
:mad::mad::mad:

Ask people to prove everything they say. (e.g. "I'm Steve, nice to meet you..." Reply, "PROVE IT!")

As people talk, smell their shoulders.

Ask people what gender they are.

Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

Consistently refer to everyone as 'mortal.'

Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, pronouncing the results.

Continually try to get all of the people who write you letters to put cellophane tape over their stamps so that you can wipe off the postmark and reuse them.

Continue to ask someone, "Is this annoying? Is this annoying?" over and over and over.

Continuously mumble during a conversation.

Continuously open your briefcase or bag and say into it, "Have you got enough air in there?"

Convince people you are deaf and talk in an incredibly phony sign language.

Poke anyone near you and say, "stop violating my personal space."

Support "Whatever team is winning" and claim you always have.

Use the last square of toilet paper and do not change the roll.

Vacuum your lawn. (Or preferably somebody else's)

Wait until you get to work to shave.

Walk around at the casino, looking at people's hands and giving them advice loudly. "Wow, that's a GOOD one!" or "Get rid of the nine; you've got a pair of kings!"

Walk into people's houses, go straight to the fridge without saying hello, and help yourself to their food.

Walk up to random people and ask them, very seriously, "Do you know the muffin man?"

Walk up to random strangers insisting you are family.

Walk up to someone eating. Lean over and stare at them intently until they notice. Continue to do so until they ask what you're doing. Reply, "I've been watching you eat for the last 30 seconds.. You're weird!" Leave the restaurant.

Walk very slowly, and make sure nobody can get past you, move in front of them when the try.

Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

Wash and scrub the trees in your front lawn.

Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

Wear a lot\of cologne.

Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.

Wear alarming combinations of pink and green and comment about everybody else's fashion sense.

Wear large hats during the movies.

Wear nothing but white and go mud wrestling.

Wear odd shoes.

Wear your cap backwards and say "Yo, wazzup?" a lot.

Wear your pants backwards.

When a cop pulls you over, when they step up to your car, drive forward slowly and make them walk. Especially if it's raining.

When at an Cashpoint, try to have a conversation with it, or pretend it stole your card. (This works best if there's a line.)

When at dinner at a fancy restaurant, keep blowing out the candle in the middle of the table, and blame it on your date.

When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

When giving directions, leave out a turn or two.

When in a chat room, spell everything incorrectly.

When in a conversation, look out the window, then say "Wait, start over. I wasn't paying attention."

When in an elevator, in different voices, shout out random floors, and then watch as you get there, no one gets off.

When in public, pretend you are selling something in an infomercial.
When it says, "Reserved Parking", this means you.

When people ask you to do things, mutter under your breath, "This won't be neccessary where you are going."

When riding up an elevator with a stranger, start singing a song that everyone knows, then expect them to start singing too. If they do not start singing, insist, “Everyone knows that song. Are you stupid?”

When standing near a "high-class person," ask them, "Excuse me, but do I have a booger hanging on my nose? I thought I picked it off."

When talking to someone, look at a spot about two inches to their right.

When walking down a main road, act like a drunk.

When walking push an invisible cart and make loud squeaky noises.
When walking, talk to yourself constantly.

When you're in an argument, no matter what it's about, keep yelling "I don't see your name on it!".

Whenever anybody says anything to you. Respond by saying, "I know."

Whenever anyone says something, laugh loudly as if they have just told and extremely funny joke.

Whenever somebody says something, ask what the simplest word they said means. When they explain, ask what the simplest word in their explanation means. Repeat this for the entire conversation.
Whenever someone finishes a sentence say, "And then what happened?"

sistafromanothermista

Dexters indignation, that's what i'm doing wrong :rotfl:

As for all the other fab replies thanks, i may just try some of those out.:D

SmallL

I find it really hard to make friends that relate, im 20 at university but im in private accomodation with a long term partner and dislike clubs/alcohol/partying.
iv resigned myself to accepting i probably wont get many friends!