With friends like these who needs enemies

Person_one

Lotus-eater wrote: »

Times like this I'm glad I'm a bloke.

I'm a woman, and the only time I've had to deal with this kind of silliness first hand was with male flatmates at uni.

Most women have really strong friendships with other women, we aren't all b!tchy backstabbers!

robotmode

Thank you for all your comments. I wondered if this post might open a can of worms and I could end up feeling worse, but I too feel very much like this is school playground witchiness and left school far too many years ago to mention to expect this kind of behaviour!!!

I have felt for a while that she didn't like me, even though to my knowledge I have done or said nothing to cause this, but this latest snub confirmed my suspicions. She has been rubbing my nose in it in a subtle kind of way for a while; when she knows they are off out together I get "what are you up to this weekend? DH & I are out tonight" or she or her DH'll say to one of the others within earshot "oh, that was a good night out wasn't it'". She's a funny woman; a snappy type and they're both real brown noses so are no loss. I really get the impression she's trying to be something she's not by mixing with 'somebodies' and harping on about expensive restaurants, spas, shows, hosting dinner parties (he he that's another story!!) and over-extending their small house. TBH I was surprised we were included in the first place, but we have noticed she likes to surround herself with people who she sees as 'somebody' ie doctor, teacher, etc. I was a committee chairperson at the time so figure this is why she wanted to know us, now I'm no longer doing this we're probably not good enough anymore. I also think she may feel threatened as she latched straight on to the new lady in attempt to make her exclusively 'her friend', but the new lady is no BFF type, is friends with us all and her kids are classmates and friends of my kids.

If she looked at real life, she'd see we have more in common than she'd like; not been to uni, both clerical workers and now SAHMs, DH's are blue collar workers and we also live in a modest house compared to the others. Ok I'm not a WI, jam making, competitive cook like her, but I have welcomed them all into my home even since I have suspected this has been going on. Hmmm and when she asked what she could bring to our xmas party and I suggested a dessert she brought ice lollies and handed them out to the kids??? DH can't see that that's the sort of sneaky snidy thing only a woman would do; sticky choc, ice cream drips and sticks discarded all over my lounge carpet in the middle of winter!!! Ok I'm not houseproud, but I do have some standards.

I don't know if any of the others realised until my friend did yesterday that we were being excluded. They had no reason to think that we hadn't been asked and probably thought we were busy - my friend visibly squirmed when I said we hadn't been invited. This woman also hacked this friend off recently by taking over her dinner party menu, but although she thought it was rude she didn't stand up to her and the comment from another friend was "obviously has nothing better to do with her time"!

I'm not going to say anything or rise to her as I'm sure it would give her the kind of sick satisfaction she'd revel in and although I do feel like retaliating this would just make me as bad as her. I'm hoping my other friends will figure her out and question it or not go along with it, but they may not want to poop in their own nest and have already shown that they are a little bit frightened of not going along with her. Unfortunately, small villages do seem to have a clique culture and there are a lot of groups that we would never be a part of for one reason or another eg all grew up together, work together, etc. We have other nice friends from other avenues of life and value them, but it's a small community so it's tricky not to be drawn into it as my kids are a big part of it and are friends with some of the other friends kids.

Having worked in offices all my life I have found that women are !!!!!y, but that some men can be equally so. I would love to find a job to escape this playground childishness, but I have health issues so I'm afraid it's not really feasible at the moment. It's just not nice to feel so left out.

coinxoperated

I recently had to dump my 'best friend' of 14 years due to be witnessing her emotionally abusing her children. I posted a while back on here for clarification that I had done the right thing as I felt almost guilty.

Some people just P**S you off to such an extent, there is just no going back. don't feel bad. Just move on x