With friends like these who needs enemies

Person_one

FatVonD wrote: »

I think this is so true but if she's really such a *female dog* aren't you best off out of it?

She's better off away from that particular person, but why should a bully get to keep all the mutual friends and make the OP feel like she has to leave her village?

Maybe something has happened that's upset her that the OP doesn't realise and they need to get it in the open to move on?

determined_new_ms

I tend to agree with not worrying about it, but have also been at the excluded side of the fence (with 2 women I used to hang around with) it really upset me for ages! I guess its best to fill your life with things nd people that make you happy then you'll have less time to worry about it

FatVonD

Person_one wrote: »

She's better off away from that particular person, but why should a bully get to keep all the mutual friends and make the OP feel like she has to leave her village?

Maybe something has happened that's upset her that the OP doesn't realise and they need to get it in the open to move on?

I agree about confronting her but I'd leave off the last bit that you suggested ("Can we work it out and have a fresh start?") I'd let her know that I knew what was happening and find out why but I wouldn't make any effort to continue a friendship with someone that had done that.

tooldle

I don't normally reply to this type of thread, but wanted to share my experience. I have been on the receiving end of this type of accusation i.e. I have excluded someone and their child. The reality, I didn't want a massive group of people in my house as I hadn't been too well, so I invited a manageable group. No clique, no nasty exclusion, just circumstances didn't suit at the time. I had four seats at the table and couldn't deal with the difficulties of craming 8 people into that space. Maybe harsh but we cannot be all things to everyone, all of the time.
Try not to get too caught up in this, it could be something of nothing. If it something, then its not worth rising to.

Person_one

FatVonD wrote: »

I agree about confronting her but I'd leave off the last bit that you suggested ("Can we work it out and have a fresh start?") I'd let her know that I knew what was happening and find out why but I wouldn't make any effort to continue a friendship with someone that had done that.

She may have a genuine grievance, if it can all be sorted out it makes life a lot more pleasant for the OP and all the mutual friends.

BJV

Don't think it will be easy in a small village but it is her loss. Please don't take it to heart. It is her problem not yours, but do agree with Person_one it could be worth a chat just to see if you can clear the air.

meritaten

Is she the boss of everyone or something? so SHE excludes you - does everyone else? if not - dont worry about it and make a point of including HER! it will drive her nuts wondering whether you really havent noticed or are playing some deep game!
so no, I wouldnt confront her - it will only get you gossiped about as 'paranoid' and she will appear the injured party!

BEAR

times like this I'm glad I have no friends

Lotus-eater

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

We live in a small village and try to keep out of things like this. But my angle would be to either speak to someone who you think IS your friend and find out whether you are being gossipped about and deal with that - or host an event yourself and see what happens - or just ignore it and go off and do your own thing. If your 'friends' aren't sticking up for you with this woman then they aren't really your friends. Sorry.

Agree, if they are your friends, they would stay so, no matter what someone else said, or would say something to you, or stick up for you, or something along those lines.
If they are the sort of silly people who go along with whoever is the latest big thing, then they probably aren't the people I'd want as friends, or would keep them as friends and not be jealous if they went out with someone else.

You can still be friends with some, just not be in the group, why would you want to be in the group anyway? If you're not wanted, then leave it alone and do something else.
It's never nice, but brooding about it and feeling sorry for yourself, never makes anything better.

BEAR wrote: »

times like this I'm glad I have no friends

Times like this I'm glad I'm a bloke.

j.e.j.

BEAR wrote: »

times like this I'm glad I have no friends

:rotfl::rotfl:
well.. not 'friends' like the OP has described, anyway