pregnant & worried

Savvy_Sue

Hi Katie, so glad to have your update, (putting mum hat on now) remember that even though you don't always get on with your parents they will always want the best for you and that's why they're willing to help. Also they'll be thinking of their grandchild and the little one coming and will want the best for all of you. Even though they probably don't approve of the fathers! Try to remember that you know your man better than they do, BUT sometimes someone outside the situation can see things you can't from the middle of it. So one day they might be right.

I know with CCJs and stuff to sort out and being on IS there'll be no cash spare for the forseeable, but hopefully one day you can start to repay them, and as you've realised, it's head OUT of the sand time, make a fresh start and maybe that includes with your parents too ...

BTW I would still check with Shelter because the fact that you've paid the arrears might have to be logged with the court to prevent the eviction. I watched a BBC documentary during the Cathy Come Home anniversary season last year and it was gutting to hear that one family had been evicted even though their arrears were down to a benefits muddle, and it had all been sorted but one dept hadn't told another dept that it was sorted.

Another tip for the future: when you're making an agreement to pay off rent arrears, don't be pushed into agreeing to pay more than you can realistically afford. If it goes to court, the court often sets a lower figure than your Housing Officer will be pushing for. But if you make an agreement, and don't stick to it, you are in deep mire!

So if your HO is asking for £10 per week, and you think that at a real stretch you can afford that but only until the week your children all need new shoes, then offer £5. And if you ever find you have a bit spare, DON'T be tempted to pay a bit more. Put it by for the week your children all need new shoes. Don't pay £10 one week, then skip a week, or skip a week and then pay £10. Just keep paying £5 per week, every week, without fail.

good luck!

Savvy_Sue

Another thought: is your partner getting any support from Probation, NACRO or any local agencies like that in terms of getting work? I know it's hard, but there are companies willing to take on offenders and ex-offenders, especially if there's some backup. I don't know why he's got to report to Probation and I'm not asking, I realise it may be as part of bail terms, but even so if your bf can show signs of trying to earn an honest living it can only go in his favour.

katiesmummy

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

Another thought: is your partner getting any support from Probation, NACRO or any local agencies like that in terms of getting work? I know it's hard, but there are companies willing to take on offenders and ex-offenders, especially if there's some backup. I don't know why he's got to report to Probation and I'm not asking, I realise it may be as part of bail terms, but even so if your bf can show signs of trying to earn an honest living it can only go in his favour.

sue to be honest i really dont know. he was working, but ended up losing his job because he had to leave early every week to go to probation. yes it is part of his bail terms and he HAS to go- he got into trouble last year cos he wasn't going and has been told this is his last chance- go, or he goes to prison. i will speak to him about it and see what he says.

re my parents. they are disgusted that i am having another baby and have told me to have an abortion. i just had my mum on the phone ranting and raving at me, so i don't know what's going to happen there. we are going to the court on monday to file the form. they are so disgusted with me and have told me so. i don't want their help but dont have any choice in the matter

astonsmummy

yes flylady thread is on moneysaviing oldstyle.

As regard what sue was saying about paying debts etc, priority debts can only force you to pay £3 i think, thats how much i pay off my rent arrears, which used to get taken straight out of my income support, i had it with my gas aswell.
Any other debts you can offer £1 a month, best thing if you do have other debts would be to go to CAB, but also have a look on DFW boeard here.
And dont forget there is always someone here to help you with virtually anything even if it's not money saving, it's a great community here althouhg it can be quite addictive, but its not a bad addiction! lol

OMG i make MSE sound like a cult or something! :rotfl:

katiesmummy

found it! i have been doing monday's jobs and cleaning my kitchen. it looks sooo much better and i haven't even finished yet. half my problem is i'm so bloomin disorganised, and the other half is i have hardly any storage space!

astonsmummy

god you sound just like me!

katiesmummy

nice to know i'm not the only one who's scatty and disorganised! this is what i have in my kitchen:

coffee maker (used maybe 5 times in 3 years)
george foreman (used all the time so doesnt count!)
jack la lanne power juicer (paid a fortune for this so must use more often)
steamer (used all the time)
slow cooker (used occasionally)
electric whisk (dont think i've ever used)
pressure cooker (never use it as a pressure cooker, just as a big saucepan!)
microwave (only thing this is used for is reheating tea!)

i would say that i have a load of crap, but can't bring myself to get rid of any of it!
oh, also have washing machine, tumble dryer (hasn;t worked for almost a year, must replace the element!), dishwasher, larder fridge, larder freezer and cooker. how i find space for anything else is beyond me! am dreading starting the other rooms, especially my bedroom- sooo much stuff in there

katiesmummy

situation is no ten times orse. mum told me today that they ont help me unless i have a termination. am back to square 1 ith 8 days to go till eviction

bluebell13

I'm sorry I can't help with your housing situation but your mum refusing to help unless you have a termination is awful. No-one should be forced to do that by someone else.

I wish you all the best. You obviously have a lot of courage and i hope it works out for you.

astonsmummy

Oh hun, i'm so sorry to hear that, did you get to speak to anyone at shelter?