Matchmaking sites - the answer?

OptimusNemesis

All,

Thanks for the feedback. It's much appreciated and I think its shown me some things about my profile that I didn't realise. For example: I didn't realise it sounded needy or desperate! lol I don't think I'm either of those things - it would just be nice to have someone not mysteriously flake on me for a change!

You're right about the whole geeky and blueprint thing. Point taken and I've removed that line. It wasn't my intention that somebody should match that exactly, I guess I was just hoping to meet someone who had at least one interest in common.

Oh - and trust me when I say that nobody has been left to chase me! lol I probably oversimplified the situation - I usually do text a few hours after and say I had a good time (only if I actually did though!) but I've had a number that have either beat me to it or even asked face to face at the end of the date. That's why I don't understand why somebody would do that and then disappear. It kind of feels like being lied to, really.

It wouldn't bother me if it was a one off incident but the fact I've had it happen five times now in a month suggests that either I'm somehow making it happen (no idea how though!) or that something weird is going on! lol

Please do continue with the advice/criticism about my profile though! :-)

- G

coinxoperated

I'm currently browsing your profile at work! Haha!

Some feedback:

:-P - this icon annoys the HELL out of me. Something just screams pervy. Might just be me!

There is something very 'pompus' about the way you write. I am 100% sure you are not how I have percieved you on your profile. As a 22 year old female geek/sci fi loon myself, I'm just trying to see it from a different view... Maybe a little less Sheldon from Big Bang Theory and more Leonard?

"Right now I'm tackling my garden - it's such a jungle I'm half expecting to find David Attenborough lurking in there somewhere!" - I just can't stand a man that may love his garden more than me. Your going for women under 50 - so maybe alter this a bit to be more fitting...

I don't think you should say that you own your house. It could really attract the wrong sort of person.

Out of interest, and I KNOW this will sound bad, and it's really not meant too, maybe you need to take more pictures in a more flattering light? Your lovely looking, but I think such light backgrounds do you no justice against the light coloured hair/skin. Maybe a picture of you in front of a darker screen (black wall/dark blue wall) will show off your assets better.

Also, on dates, do you always pay?

You'll hate me when I say this, but I went on 7 dates with a guy who was splashing the cash without having any intention of it going further to something more commited. I knew he was willing to wine and dine me, buy me jewellery, and as far as I was concerned, it was his money and his choice. Looking back, I technically should of been straight with him from day dot, but I wasn't. He was pretty gutted when I ended it when he hadn't been paid

No man should expect to pay for everything on a date. If you splash it about, they will come back, but not for the right reasons.

Hope I've helped and I wish you the best of luck!

I met my current bf of 2 years on PlentyofFish and I couldn't of asked to of met someone better for me, so there is hope!

OptimusNemesis

Thanks for the feedback! :-)

I hope I'm not pompous - I don't think I am! lol Which parts of the profile come across like that to you?

If you saw the current state of my garden you'd realise that it certainly isn't loved more than anything - but point taken! :-)

I'll see what I can do about the pics - it's probably about time I had some better ones taken anyway...

As for paying... I've always gone with the idea that we should just pay for ourselves - nearly every date has gone this way although I did get stitched a couple of weeks ago when my date suddenly said she'd forgotten her purse! lol I don't think she did it on purpose but that is the only time I've paid their half too. I'm of Scottish descent so make of that what you will! ;-)

Oh - I never thought of ':-P' as being pervy... I guess I'm just far too innocent to see anything naughty in that! :rotfl:

- G

coinxoperated wrote: »

I'm currently browsing your profile at work! Haha!

Some feedback:

:-P - this icon annoys the HELL out of me. Something just screams pervy. Might just be me!

There is something very 'pompus' about the way you write. I am 100% sure you are not how I have percieved you on your profile. As a 22 year old female geek/sci fi loon myself, I'm just trying to see it from a different view... Maybe a little less Sheldon from Big Bang Theory and more Leonard?

"Right now I'm tackling my garden - it's such a jungle I'm half expecting to find David Attenborough lurking in there somewhere!" - I just can't stand a man that may love his garden more than me. Your going for women under 50 - so maybe alter this a bit to be more fitting...

I don't think you should say that you own your house. It could really attract the wrong sort of person.

Out of interest, and I KNOW this will sound bad, and it's really not meant too, maybe you need to take more pictures in a more flattering light? Your lovely looking, but I think such light backgrounds do you no justice against the light coloured hair/skin. Maybe a picture of you in front of a darker screen (black wall/dark blue wall) will show off your assets better.

Also, on dates, do you always pay?

You'll hate me when I say this, but I went on 7 dates with a guy who was splashing the cash without having any intention of it going further to something more commited. I knew he was willing to wine and dine me, buy me jewellery, and as far as I was concerned, it was his money and his choice. Looking back, I technically should of been straight with him from day dot, but I wasn't. He was pretty gutted when I ended it when he hadn't been paid

No man should expect to pay for everything on a date. If you splash it about, they will come back, but not for the right reasons.

Hope I've helped and I wish you the best of luck!

I met my current bf of 2 years on PlentyofFish and I couldn't of asked to of met someone better for me, so there is hope!

coinxoperated

You know, now I come to think of it, your not pompus, your educated. LOL! I'm so used to seeing bad grammar, I actually think it looked a little odd! Ignore me!

I think I just feel that this: :-P or ;-P : means you want to lick me. where? I have no idea? :rotfl:

I must admit I know its harder for men on these dating sites than women. I always had 20/30 messages a DAY, mainly off men wanting 'intimate meetings' around their wives work schedules :eek:

I have a friend who is, shall I say, less fortunate that some in the face area. He hasn't had a single message and he is the NICEST guy.

Your picture really should be the thing you concentrate on imo. Nobody wants to go on a date with Rohl Dahl do they? :rotfl:

Now if Rohl Dahl had a face like Johnny Depp... I think we all know that the ladies would be bringing the sweeties to him rather than vice versa .

So get your picture looking suave - This made me laugh...

OptimusNemesis wrote: »

Thanks for the feedback! :-)

I hope I'm not pompous - I don't think I am! lol Which parts of the profile come across like that to you?

If you saw the current state of my garden you'd realise that it certainly isn't loved more than anything - but point taken! :-)

I'll see what I can do about the pics - it's probably about time I had some better ones taken anyway...

As for paying... I've always gone with the idea that we should just pay for ourselves - nearly every date has gone this way although I did get stitched a couple of weeks ago when my date suddenly said she'd forgotten her purse! lol I don't think she did it on purpose but that is the only time I've paid their half too. I'm of Scottish descent so make of that what you will! ;-)

Oh - I never thought of ':-P' as being pervy... I guess I'm just far too innocent to see anything naughty in that! :rotfl:

- G

shegirl

coinxoperated wrote: »

You know, now I come to think of it, your not pompus, your educated. LOL! I'm so used to seeing bad grammar, I actually think it looked a little odd! Ignore me!

I think I just feel that this: :-P or ;-P : means you want to lick me. where? I have no idea? :rotfl:

I must admit I know its harder for men on these dating sites than women. I always had 20/30 messages a DAY, mainly off men wanting 'intimate meetings' around their wives work schedules :eek:

I have a friend who is, shall I say, less fortunate that some in the face area. He hasn't had a single message and he is the NICEST guy.

Your picture really should be the thing you concentrate on imo. Nobody wants to go on a date with Rohl Dahl do they? :rotfl:

Now if Rohl Dahl had a face like Johnny Depp... I think we all know that the ladies would be bringing the sweeties to him rather than vice versa .

So get your picture looking suave - This made me laugh...

:eek: Really?:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: That seriously made me laugh!

I take :-p as teasing,same way I use it.Teasing/playful is good (well it is if you're me).

shegirl

OptimusNemesis wrote: »

Thanks for the feedback! :-)

I hope I'm not pompous - I don't think I am! lol Which parts of the profile come across like that to you?

If you saw the current state of my garden you'd realise that it certainly isn't loved more than anything - but point taken! :-)

I'll see what I can do about the pics - it's probably about time I had some better ones taken anyway...

As for paying... I've always gone with the idea that we should just pay for ourselves - nearly every date has gone this way although I did get stitched a couple of weeks ago when my date suddenly said she'd forgotten her purse! lol I don't think she did it on purpose but that is the only time I've paid their half too. I'm of Scottish descent so make of that what you will! ;-)

Oh - I never thought of ':-P' as being pervy... I guess I'm just far too innocent to see anything naughty in that! :rotfl:

- G

No,I think it's just that Coinxoperated is a dirty girl :rotfl:

SaveMoreMoney

I've had a chance to read your profile.

I agree with everyone on the comments about your profile - I think parts of it are a bit too narrow.

If you water-down the 'geeky' stuff i.e. the books, the films - then I think that anyone looking at your profile and thinking hmmmmmm, is then more likely to think a yes, than a no. Otherwise you'll just have more ladies thinking no from the off.

At the end of the day, it's also a confidence thing, the more people you see, the easier it gets and you can reject and be rejected more comfortably.

One tip that worked with me was to amend my profile to include something along the lines of - I joined this site to hopefully meet 'the one' but if that's not possible, then it would be great to meet new people and make new friends. Anything beyond that is a bonus : Again, it just moves people from the hmmmmmm position into hopefully the yes I'll contact him.

Look for ways to open up what you do - so buy a packet of seeds and grow them in your garden.........then technically you can say you grow your own veg - am keen to grow more, any suggestions ??? (this opens up the opportunity to get a response or two).

I'd also go for the view that you want to and are keen to try new things in life - again, this opens up more possibilities for a yes than a no.

I see there is no distance specified - I'd put something there - i.e. 30/45 mins travel - as otherwise you have no chance of seeing someone during the week !

I used to have a mini tick-list.......distance, age, height, did they have kids (if so, that was an immediate no with me), did they want kids..........I then sent a basic template e-mail to them with a few comments tailored to their profile.

Don't also ignore the opportunity to make new friends on these sites..........THEY might have friends who you might find 'the one'.

Also remember that 'the one' will also have her own interests and hobbies, so you have to be open to partake.

As for me, well my main hobbies are now much reduced. But from time to time, my wife comes along and enjoys.

It might well be that 'the one' absolutely isn't into your 'geeky' stuff at all, but will be happy to let you continue with it and also she might enjoy small bits of it.

I hope some of that helps you - I found it a bit of a slog the Internet Dating lark, but when I look back on it, I think it did me the world of good, and I'm obviously very pleased I did it - as otherwise I wouldn't now be married with a young baby.

Took me about 18 months from starting to meet my wife and within 18 months we were married and had a baby ! Seems a bit crazy really, but we BOTH knew it was great.

Good luck - I think there are lots of good comments that have been made and if you action, you will improve your chances.

spugzbunny

Hi!

I had a quick looksy too. I am also a geek so feel I am educated in this area! I would say that you need to cut about 50% out (as others have said). You need to leave people wanting more.

Get a better pic. Not because you've got a mug like a tram smash but that it looks a bit 'work badge'! Have you got one of you out with friends or family where you are naturally smiling? Outdoors or in a more natural setting?

Other than that I'd say be yourself and join some more local clubs/activities. There are plenty of lonely geeky gals out there wondering exactly the same, it's just a case of meeting them!

I also did a quick google and this came up that might be more up your street? http://www.geekdate.co.uk/

Chin up - look at Christina Hendrix, she married the King of The Geeks!

foreign_correspondent

you have selected that you are looking "For new friends, long-term dating, activity partners" - I understand that 'activity partners' actually means someone to meet up with merely for sex... a friend of mine thought it meant people with whom she could go walking, outdoor pursuits etc.. and was very surprised at some of the offers she got!

Of course, if you are looking for women to just have sex with, then leave the 'activity partner' line in... but do be aware that it will put off women looking for a long term partner!

foreign_correspondent

oh, and as many others have said - get some better photos - or at least introduce a bit of variety - I hate it when people have taken all their own pictures - they generally look posed, false and make me think the person never goes anywhere, or does anything - get a friend to take some photos, perhaps outdoors..