Hypno's kick up the backside debt diary....

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Ok, so I know we have had debates about whether there are too many debt diaries or not, and I know that it is self indulgent to start my own but.....I am reasonably good at giving others support and the benefit of my amazing advice :rolleyes: but I am not so good at giving myself the same kick up the backside.
So, by putting it in my diary I will hopefully take some of it in and act on it!
So, the reason for starting today is because this week I feel as though I have hit a bloody great wall. We are snowballing and still have a long long way to go before we are free of this debt. We are doing everything right, rent out our spare room, don't have sky, don't smoke, have a shopping budget etc. I even buy stardrops for goodness sake - I really AM trying here.
Anyway, in the last month OH applied for an M&S LOB card and got rejected and I applied for a citibank current account and got rejected and it just seems that we are stuck with what we have got - high interest rates and no way of doing anything about it.
Our credit rating is officially "poor" although we are on top of all the payments and have never had a default or CCJ, so I assume it is the high level of debt that we have that is the problem. I spoke to a very nice lady at Experian who basically said try again in 6 months time. GREAT!
So, I need the motivation to keep snowballing - I have come this far and I need to keep going but it is SO HARD!
And to top it all, and to make me feel really bad, I got some extra money from my Dad's estate this week that I really wasn't expecting to get. I have bunged almost all my inheritance at my debts so far which has gone a long way towards getting things sorted but instead of bunging this extra at the debt, I have booked a week away in a fortnight's time. I had tried to convince myself that I could manage without a break but then........
So now I feel guilty about it - part of me says spend it and enjoy it and part says think of the snowball and what a difference it would have made.
So, humour me while I do this diary, and please feel free to lighten things up with your wit and wisdom. I promise that I will not always be this gloomy
So, by putting it in my diary I will hopefully take some of it in and act on it!
So, the reason for starting today is because this week I feel as though I have hit a bloody great wall. We are snowballing and still have a long long way to go before we are free of this debt. We are doing everything right, rent out our spare room, don't have sky, don't smoke, have a shopping budget etc. I even buy stardrops for goodness sake - I really AM trying here.
Anyway, in the last month OH applied for an M&S LOB card and got rejected and I applied for a citibank current account and got rejected and it just seems that we are stuck with what we have got - high interest rates and no way of doing anything about it.
Our credit rating is officially "poor" although we are on top of all the payments and have never had a default or CCJ, so I assume it is the high level of debt that we have that is the problem. I spoke to a very nice lady at Experian who basically said try again in 6 months time. GREAT!
So, I need the motivation to keep snowballing - I have come this far and I need to keep going but it is SO HARD!
And to top it all, and to make me feel really bad, I got some extra money from my Dad's estate this week that I really wasn't expecting to get. I have bunged almost all my inheritance at my debts so far which has gone a long way towards getting things sorted but instead of bunging this extra at the debt, I have booked a week away in a fortnight's time. I had tried to convince myself that I could manage without a break but then........
So now I feel guilty about it - part of me says spend it and enjoy it and part says think of the snowball and what a difference it would have made.
So, humour me while I do this diary, and please feel free to lighten things up with your wit and wisdom. I promise that I will not always be this gloomy

Successful women can still have their feet on the ground. They just wear better shoes. (Maud Van de Venne)
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone (Neale Donald Walsch)
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consider yourself humoured. I've always appreciated your wise and generous posts.
Enjoy your weekend away and don't think any more about it. For those of us with BIG debts, the debt-free journey is going to be a long one, and we need to live along the way. (she says, drinking a glass of wine).
You have shown yourself to be more than determined to get out of debt, so if the break sets your debtfree date back a month or two so what? By refreshing you it might actually bring it forward.
I'll read your diary with interest. I don't think diaries take up space, I think they reduce space, by keeping so much discussion in one place.
I have found your daily small DFW achievements thread so helpful and inspiring, so hopefully we can offer the same support back to you.
In terms of the holiday, I'd be of the thought that a good holiday could help add energy, and it could help to have a break, and then get back into snowballing again - so you have the good memories of the holiday to help motivate you on the tricky days.
Good luck
enjoy your weekend away, it's important to treat yourself occasionally well done with all that you have achieved so far
SC XX
Diarys are fabulous insperation to read, so keep the entries coming.
If people don't like them, the answer is simple, don't read them.
Look forward to reading more.
X X X
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~ MARK TWAIN
27/50
Go away, enjoy yourself and when you return you will feel re-charged and re-freshed and ready to plough away at getting debt-free.
Don't waste your money on a holiday and then not enjoy it - enjoy a well earned break then come back refreshed and ready to fight the good fight.
[STRIKE]Mortgage 8.2.15 - [/STRIKE][STRIKE]£171,064.64[/STRIKE] Mortgage 1.5.2018 - £99,980.45
Well now, all I can say is, I hope you booked the holiday in some sort of MSE way and if not well, naughty naughty however I am sure the world is not going to implode because of it.
ENJOY THE BREAK it may be that you don't get another one for a while and if you didn't live a little along this debt free road (which is littered with tractors and caravans at times to slow us all up but that's life) then you'd go doolally.
You do something every day on top of the big things you've already done (like take in a lodger for instance) so, the beating up of one's self must stop now.
Big old hug and the chink of wine glasses to you!
LA xx
Sainsburys Loan: Cleared July 2010
Credit cards: AMEX Airmiles Card: direct debit set to clear balance monthly
Retired August 2016
Paid off French mortgage September 2018
New kitchen fully installed June 2019
Not counting this! 2020
Garden fencing completed, woohoo 2021..........
October 2021: aiming for £5,000 new money for premium bonds or a car.
Nice to have a diary from you - I'll be reading with interest!
You are one super MSE-er so no more being hard on yourself! Enjoy your break and come back refreshed and with renewed energy to tackle those debts
Be proud of what you have achieved already :beer: