Mum threatening to make me bankrupt

emweaver

Does anyone know what the chances of her making me bankrupt are?

I'm going to find a solicitor tomorrow but this is really impacting on my health , I suffer from mental illness as it is so I do not cope well under stress like this.

alastairq

As DI says..... the fact that your actions aided and abetted your parent to defraud, effectively, means that promptly reporting all you know to the relevant authorities [DWP?] will mitigate your involvement in the eyes of the Law.

The fact that you may end up being alienated from your Mother is unfortunate....she is relying on familial ties to keep you silent in this respect.

Do not concern yourself over threats of Bankruptcy......it is an ill-thought-out threat....and I am amazed that a solicitor should posses the moral disposition to allow themselves to be involved in such threats.

emweaver

alastairq wrote: »

As DI says..... the fact that your actions aided and abetted your parent to defraud, effectively, means that promptly reporting all you know to the relevant authorities [DWP?] will mitigate your involvement in the eyes of the Law.

The fact that you may end up being alienated from your Mother is unfortunate....she is relying on familial ties to keep you silent in this respect.

Do not concern yourself over threats of Bankruptcy......it is an ill-thought-out threat....and I am amazed that a solicitor should posses the moral disposition to allow themselves to be involved in such threats.

My dad seems to think it is a scare tactic her solicitor is using to try to scare me into paying the money.

Rupert_Bear

Dunroamin wrote: »

As you seem to be in a position to report her for substantial benefit fraud, I'd say that you're holding all the aces!

yes but what happened to Motherly love!!

emweaver

Rupert_Bear wrote: »

yes but what happened to Motherly love!!

What about daughterly love, how could she do this to me after all she has put me through and all the things she has turned a blind eye too and allowed to happen. She is even trying to get extra money from me but claiming I owe more than i do.

I suppose I will need to appeal the amount but its proving how much I owe her as it was all cash withdraws.

keithdc

The arrangement does sound like a conspiracy to defraud.
Reporting your mum could backfire- personally I think the naivety defence would hold little water (however true it may be!!)

ILW

freshstart11 wrote: »

You just seem to get enjoyment out of your little digs. OP now understands what happened is wrong, HOWEVER as a teenager I would not have thought twice had same situation happened to me . I know I would now though!


You have made your point clear, op now needs words of advice nt more tellings off - they are well aware now it was not right!

Fair point, I just find the implied attitude that stealing off DWP is somehow OK to be very annoying.

If OP had said that brother had done a few muggings and asked her to look after the proceeds and weapons as the police were going to search his place, would there have been any sympathy?

emweaver

I know I have heard the saying many times ignorance is not an excuse so I do not know what to do. All I know is I was young and stupid, thought she was doing me a favour. She asked for weekly instalments and now is suddenly recalling the full amount and increased the amount.

It was a joint load between me and my partner as most of the debts we were repaying with it was his. Yet she has only chosen to make me bankrupt I assume because she thinks I still have money left .

easilydistracted

Emweaver, if you were unaware of the situation re the benefits at the time I would just stay well out of that element of the argument.

I imagine your Mum would have some proof that she gave you the money if she has transfered it into your bank account. I'm not sure if you have any evidence that you agreed to repay her, but it's clear you don't think its a gift, so by arguing this in court (if it goes that far) you could get into trouble.

Did you have an arragement to pay back your Mum in a particular timeframe? It either sounds like you didn't, or that the arrangement was particular installments which you are sticking to. So it is just like any other creditor in a technical way: they have to show that you have the money and are behind on re-paying. Even then agreeing a bankruptcy is extreme: there would be other ways to get repayment.

I am wondering if her letter is designed to get you to admit the debt? As you are so stressed it may be worth you getting a free half hour legal advice from a local solicitors, but don't spend a fortune on getting them to act for you.

After the legal advice I would consider continuing to send her cheques for the installments, if she doesn't cash them it's up to her, but keep the money aside as she could cash them for years. This would probably count as proof you have agreed to repay her, but then you have.

I would also second all the suggestions regarding cutting her off. She sounds very self-centred and completely unaware of how her behaviour can impact on others.

Good luck. Are you getting some counselling or help by the way? This sounds very difficult to deal with on your own.

emweaver

ILW wrote: »

Fair point, I just find the implied attitude that stealing off DWP is somehow OK to be very annoying.

If OP had said that brother had done a few muggings and asked her to look after the proceeds and weapons as the police were going to search his place, would there have been any sympathy?

I have never once said or even implied stealing off the DWP is ok.

Also you can not compare it to mugging someone as mugging someone can have serious mental implications on the person who was mugged as it is a terrifying ordeal.