SOA - Debt free wannabe

[Deleted User]

nemomum wrote: »

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 2
Number of cars owned.................... 1

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 0Would it be an option to put something here? Not sure what area you worked in before you had kids, but could you do even one day/shift a week, or work ad hoc for an agency?
Partners monthly income after tax....... 1969.7Any opportunity for overtime? (I think you mentioned that his contract prevents him from taking a second job, does this include ad hoc agency work?
Benefits................................ 180Are you claiming all that you are entitled to?
Other income............................ 0I know that you are already using e-bay etc, but take a look at the "up your income" board for inspiration on earning a bit extra
Total monthly income.................... 2149.7

Monthly Expense Details
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 34.9How much is the total debt? When is it finished?
Rent.................................... 600Is this competitive for your area?
Council tax............................. 137.62Is this over 10 or 12 months, can you ask your local council if you can spread the payment over 12 if you don't already?
Electricity............................. 48This seems high? Are you in arrears? Or have you over paid (if so claim anything you have in credit back)? - Switch the thermostat down on the hot water boiler (you will never notice), only heat water when it's needed, switch things off instead of leaving them on standby, only have lights on in rooms being used, use energy saving bulbs etc
Gas..................................... 88You are probably going to reduce use here because of the time of year, but switch down the thermostat, switch off radiators in rooms people are not using. As above make sure that you are not in credit with the company (and if so claim it back), also is this arrears? If so, when will it be repaid?
Once both Gas and electric are up-to-date, use a comparison site to make sure that you are with the cheapest company and cheapest tariff for your area/usage - once you have found the cheapest option for you (often online and duel fuel) check to see if there's any offers on the cash back sites (onepoll cashback, quidco, topcashback etc)
Telephone (land line)................... 10
Mobile phone............................ 17.36How many mobiles is this for? Are any of them in contract? If so, reduce the contract by a tariff if allowed (some companies will allow), and if/when out of contract look at cheaper alternatives - try SIM only and PAYG options. I cannot recommend GiffGaff enough, and you can keep your numbers
TV Licence.............................. 12.12
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 15 Cancel this and use freeview
Internet Services....................... 5
Groceries etc. ......................... 300I think that there are probably savings to be had here. Meal plan, batch cook, stick to a list of what you need, cook from scratch etc...take a trip over to the old style board on this site for advice on cutting the grocery bill down. And here's the link to another site with a meal plan/food budget that is very cheap:http://www.cheap-family-recipes.org.uk/ (feed a family of four for £100 a month)
Clothing................................ 20Stick with what you have for now, only buy for the children and check charity shops and e-bay
Petrol/diesel........................... 80Are all journeys essential? Can you combine journeys?
Road tax................................ 22
Car Insurance........................... 28
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0unless the car is very new, you probably need something here
Other travel............................ 100Is this the lowest that it can be?
Contents insurance...................... 16.54
Life assurance ......................... 5.11
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 20Is this necessary? Try and reduce, sign up to some of the survey sites online and earn vouchers to cover the cost of Xmas presents and birthday presents - you will never make a lot of money doing this, but it can help out a little bit here
Haircuts................................ 15See if there's a local college that offers really cheap or free trainee cuts
Emergency fund.......................... 0maybe start by putting a little here?
Total monthly expenses.................. 1574.65


Assets
Cash.................................... 0You probably need to start haveing a little bit saved here for any bills that are not paid monthly eg MOT, presents clothes etc
Car(s).................................. 700
Total Assets............................ 700[/b]


Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Hire Purchase (HP) debt ...... 0........(34.9).....0How much is the debt? When will it be fully repaid? Is it really 0% and will it remain 0% for the duration of the debt?
Total secured & HP debts...... 0.........-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
1. RBS cash.......................522.46....10........26.95This debt needs to be your priority for any over-payment that you are able to make, but make sure that you always pay the minimum towards all other debts
2. BOS............................2169.55...49.58.....26.95Once the first debt is gone more on to this one - and snowball, There was a snowball calculator at the end of the page where you filled in this SOA, that should help you identify what to over pay on when, and when you will reach your ultimate goal
3. Overdraft......................2082......34........20
4. RBS purchases..................982.05....24.01.....19.16
5. HBOS...........................3900......70.6......15.9
6. Credit union loan..............3000......16.54.....15

I know that you have mentioned that these are loans and they have to be paid back, however if your family are happy for now that you concentrate on the other debts which are costing you a lot more, then leave these as they are for now
Brother........................100.......0.........0
Parents 2......................500.......0.........0
Parents........................14000.....0.........0
Virgin.........................2904......82.82.....24.1

Hi,

I have made some comments above, I hope that they help. I think that there's room for some savings in your SOA - pay-for-tv and groceries mainly.

As other posters have mentioned, having a separate account for DD's and all essential payments is an excellent idea and can work really well if you are organised.

HTH,

D9

nemomum

The loans mainly went on our education, we both did PhDs and were unfunded in the last year so it went on the rent and food. Seriously, we weren't having a social life or living grandly. The wedding after that ate up another couple of thousand and that was doing everything at the cheapest price (I mainly did the wedding off the back of ebay) and finally we had two children and I was very ill for a couple of years so it's just built up that way. There have been no extravagances (we were given the car) and often the bills have been when things have gone wrong e.g. car breakdown. I'd paid all my debts off just before getting engaged.

Had another blazing row when he got home today because I got another letter informing me of a missed DD. I spent all day busting a gut cleaning things up from the shed to sell on gumtree and it has all been wiped out. I think I'm just going to have to cancel all the direct debits and pay all the cards the day after payday because at the moment we're getting double whacked by charges, avoidable charges. I'd asked him for a list of the DDs still to come and he said there were only two more to come off this month but didn't give me the list and I'd assumed he knew they were later but he actually just knew he'd already missed them. I could have paid them. I have said this all before and he says he cares and that he'll do this and that but he hasn't done a single thing I've asked of him all month. I am absolutely at the end of my tether. I am so angry about it and no amount of speaking or yellow or ANYTHING makes any difference. I can't see his details or I'd do it and everything is paperless. Stupid, stupid fool that he is and bigger fool me.

nemomum

I'm going to do a better SOA and do some of the things you've suggested in your post Domino9. Thanks for taking the time to respond. I am living really frugally at the moment but I'm going to have to cut some more. The house is looking pretty empty though, I've sold even the things I really loved because I don't want us to reach a point where we just cannot pay but we're just treading water as long as we're just meeting the minimums. I've got to see the tv contract because BT just put in our box and infinity so I think there may be a period we have to keep it for.

Today I've scrumbled about in the garden shed and cleaned everything up for selling. I think he's just going to have to tell his family we can't afford to come down and I may just go up to my parents for a bit with the children without him.

nemomum

I should add that I make more doing my buying and selling than I ever did in my part time work. I used to work as a trading assistant so I see things, use them a while, then sell them on for a profit. I know it sounds daft but it's true. My working part time is not the answer and I need to look after our children and keep the home. I'm bringing in the money, it's just that he is losing it and we're losing it to interest and charges.

nemomum

Okay Domino9, all radiators turned off. The water is at the lowest setting already but I've reduced the amount of time it is being heated for on the timer to the minimum for us all getting washed and having enough for cleaning. I'm off to clean out the food cupboards and see what we've got to plan some meals then I'll look at that website for planning to feed four for a hundred. He is signed up for any overtime but nothing is coming and he's not allowed any other jobs (his contract). Mobile is his and contract is the cheapest way we can do it (he uses it for his work all the time). I was saying we just have to get rid of the tv so I'm going to see tonight if we're tied in for a certain amount of time with BT but I'll see if I can get rid of it or at least get their cheapest package. I'll sell the tv too and just watch the odd thing on iplayer on the computer. I've done that before and can do it again. I've sorted out some things to put to auction and I've got a lady coming tonight to buy more of the garden plants and a woman coming tomorrow to buy a few things from the shed.

nemomum

Gumtree buyers have let me down again. Why do people do that? It's not as though most people are selling for the fun of it. I've offered things to others.

Had words with the agency who rent us our place and the landlord came round to replace the fans so they vent to the outside, that should save us a bit on running the dehumidifier. Making presents for family (crochet) so that will save a little. It all seems like such tiny amounts though and there's this huge mountain of debt to repay. One pound at a time, eh?

YORKSHIRELASS

Oh I so admire your guts and determination. Dont want to sound patronising but many women would have given up by now. I am not sure what the answer is, you just seem to be in such an unfair position. I just cant see how things are going to work out for you unless you can somehow get it through to him that he needs to help you manage the family finances properly.

I dont work and I look after all the finances in our house. Hubby hasnt a clue whats in the bank. He wouldnt even know how much he earned last year (he is self employed). He gets a set amount of cash each week and thats it. This works for us and we are both happy, he is a lovely bloke and spends nothing on himself but hasnt a clue about managing money. Things are very tight for us but we get by.

I dont seem to have anything productive to add but just wanted to send you some moral support. Maybe someone else has been in your shoes and can give you some advice. Good luck.

notatvstar

I didn't want to read and run... to be honest - I really feel for you. I am in a (sort of) similar, but not as serious, situation.

The reason why it's not so serious is that I made it very clear right from the start that I was going to keep my own bank account, and he, his. We divide up the bills in that I pay for the rent, C tax, TV license and BT line rental and he pays for the 'luxuries' such as stuff for the car (I don't drive btw... never wanted to), household groceries, broadband etc...

In that way - The serious stuff is taken care of by me. The rest - well he has to managed if he wants to buy 8 bottles of wine etc and runs out of dosh for the housekeeping. (I have a stash of food in my work fridge in my office... ahahahaha). I know my solution is not suitable for you as you're not in FT work at the moment.

It sounds like he hasn't had his LBM yet... and (having one myself-so I can say this) some people with PhDs are extraordinarily naive when it comes to 'real life' issues such as money. He doesn't sound like a bad man, he just sounds 'overwhelmed'. Being so successful at one thing usually means that they can't cope when they're obviously not good at another. We boffins are famous for the lack of common sense thing and for our tunnel vision. I was lucky in that my parents were working class and skint, hence I suppose I can handle money. Perhaps his own background has meant that he has never had to go without in the past and no fear of poverty as he's never experienced it in an unavoidable, sustained way (being skint as a student is very different from being skint as a child). I work with a woman who is very similar (eg insisting on sending her children to private schools when she doesn't have a pot to pee in!).

Hang fast. Hold tight. Show him the numbers. Get him to write down all the DD's and their dates. He doesn't have the brain space to deal with his boffin-job and the domestic finances. You MUST show him that you do.

Empirically.

Good luck.

OldStreetBum

Whatever you do don't lose heart! You need to keep at it. Your OH really does remind me of how bad I was. I wasn't at the stage where I was missing payments on a regular basis but I really was seriously clueless and frankly as long as I had a hundred in the bank that was that and if I didn't well I'd just google payday loans to keep me going. I was that crap.

I think the one thing thats put me on the right path is having someone close to me who cares that much for me that she was dragged me kicking and screaming in the right direction but what she did the most was making me admit I had a problem.

Have you tried reaching out to his family. It might be worth trying to collate what he's been doing (or not doing more like) and trying to convince them to join you in sitting down together with him and making him see sense.

jayphe

nemomum wrote: »

... Lack of money is the destructive force in our marriage but nobody is born able to bank, you have to be interested enough to get good at it....

I think you already know the answer, you're the one that's interested in it so you're the one that's going to have to take over. There's a quote that's a little harsh for this situation, but please take in jest.

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results."

Your husband has proved that he's destined to continue to manage his finances poorly, so it's time to change things up.

What I would do:

Make sure your husband is 100% aware that pay day loans are never to be touched again.

Don't worry about a rainy day fund right now, the interest rates on your debts are high and you have an emergency backup in your parents / in law who would no doubt extend further funds in the case of job loss. You do need to save money for likely but irregular future expenses though.

Cut your outgoings immediately like you've identified already, a few months of really frugal living will see you break the back of this.

Tell your husband how you are going to stop him incurring bank charges, there are lots of options and only you know the right one. (I'd do what you said; take over the main bank account, pinch the debit card and give him 20 quid a week spending cash for lunches, haircuts, treating kids, etc...).

Remember that your husband has a great wage, 2000 a month after tax is a pretty damn good contribution to the household finances.

BTW - Any chance you could make your husband fill out the SOA? Just plonk him in front of the website and sit next to him with all the paperwork to hand spelling out expenses and debts? You might have to delete this thread though