OS marital ethical dilemma

Spendless

maryb wrote: »

I have a halfway house approach. I tell my children they are simply not allowed to be fussy about everyday foods but if they try something unusual and don't like it that's OK because it doesn't make my life difficult trying to meal plan around it.

How do you decide which is an 'everyday food' and which is 'unusual'

WrenBoy

Very lucky that DH will eat practically anything, but I’m the fussy one in our house. I cut my vegetables up really small to hide them from myself. Love them raw though….

Solomon_Broad

When I was a child, my mother *never* made a fuss over the dinner table. She just put the food down, and if I asked what it was, matter-of-factly told me it was <whatever>. I think that's the reason I'll eat pretty much anything now. I adore cabbage. I always have done (apparently, cabbage and potato mush was the first "solid" meal I ever had, which was also the first I managed to feed myself) and I think that's because my mother never made a fuss over what I was eating.

Some foods I absolutely detest, such as picalilli, but that's more down to the colour (it always reminds me of vomit) than the taste.

newleaf

To quote Jocasta Innes, 'paupers cannot afford to be squeamish'.
When I was a child, if I did not clear my plate my mum simply gave it back to me at the next mealtime, cold. I soon learned it was preferable to eat it at the first presentation. Likes and dislikes were not a consideration, and nothing was ever wasted. There is very little I will not eat now - raw fish is about the only thing I can think of, and this is only because I have been violently sick on several occasions after eating it.

CFC

Plum_Pie wrote: »

I hate to go all serious but aubergines (though I find them soooooo delicious myself) are actually not as harmless as you might think as they are a member of the nightshade family.

http://www.arthritissupport.com/library/showarticle.cfm/ID/207/T/Arthritis

http://www.ibs-relief.co.uk/ibs_recipes.asp

My father developed a tolerance allergy to aubergine (ie He ate tons of them over period of years and then suddenly went into shock after eating them, heart palpitations, problems breathing, the works.)

The humble spud is also a member of the Nightshade family. As are tomatoes and paprikas. All pretty harmless. (Except sprouting or green areas on spuds)

People can suddenly develop allergies to anything, nothing to do with what family they are a member of. Just one of those things, and pretty scarey when it happens. Those who are allergic to one member of the family might need to be cautious with other members of it though.

Tiger_greeneyes

newleaf wrote: »

To quote Jocasta Innes, 'paupers cannot afford to be squeamish'.
When I was a child, if I did not clear my plate my mum simply gave it back to me at the next mealtime, cold. I soon learned it was preferable to eat it at the first presentation. Likes and dislikes were not a consideration, and nothing was ever wasted. There is very little I will not eat now - raw fish is about the only thing I can think of, and this is only because I have been violently sick on several occasions after eating it.

Your post has really hit the nail on the head with me - I had exactly the same upbringing when it came to food - I was treated to cold dinner for the next morning's breakfast many a time!

It taught me to not be fussy - and to not waste food. Thankfully my mum's a brilliant cook (although her DH hasn't let her cook for over ten years :rolleyes: ) and it wasn't much of a problem to clear the plates.

I work in a school and the amount of food wasted at lunchtime is a crime. Half the boys regularly empty their uneaten packed lunch into the bin so they can go out for a game of football. I've asked other pupils why they're throwing away items like unopened packets of apricots etc - the answer is always that they don't like it. I say they should take them home again - the answer is usually always 'nah, my mum's got loads in the house, she gives them to me every day because she thinks I like them' :rolleyes:

I don't think a lot of parents have time to persevere when it comes to food - either that or it's easier to cook something different for each child every day.

There was certainly less waste with the 'old' system - it was easy and it worked

grimelda

OP's post made me laugh as well, and his reasoning is clearly silly, but I do think it's unethical to feed someone something and tell them it's something else (or not tell them what it is when you know they'd object). If I was the OP I'd cook it and then tell him to eat it, make his own meal, or go without.

If I was in the place of the OP's husband, I'd be utterly livid if I'd discovered I'd been fed something I expressly said I didn't want. It would be a long time before I'd trust them to cook a meal for me again.

Justamum

scuzz wrote: »

Who else gets or has been in the past, been bombarded with the phrase "I don't like it" when they've never even tried the food in question???:mad: :mad: :mad: Dries me in sane. How can you not like something when you don't know what it tastes like?!

I have this problem with my son, but he is only 7! My husband "doesn't like" anything from the brassica family, but I make him eat it - he has to set an example as he's an adult!

Having an adult who is so fussy would drive me mad. I would put it on their plate, and tell them to grow up!

heather38

my cousins husband wont eat green food or beans of any kind, he's a nightmare to cook for. and now his kids are fussy eaters.. i wonder why?
i don't like mushrooms-they are a fungus (like athletes foot) and just wrong!
i also don't like raw tomatoes but will eat them cooked or celery, but i will eat anything else and will try anything once.
oh is the same will try anything once.

Justamum

My eldest daughter (age 10) is a dream to feed. About the only thing she doesn't like is avocado - although when we lived in SA we had avocado trees in the garden and she used to eat tons of them fresh off the trees! Mind you we left when she was 2 so she's forgotten. She was a very fussy eater up until she was about 6, then almost overnight she started eating everything without complaining.

She's also the only person in our family who actually likes sprouts! I didn't like them as a child as I used to feel ill afterwards with really bad stomach pains. We used to often have them with roast pork, and it was only when I got older and ate pork without the sprouts that I realised pork was the culprit.

When I was a child I didn't like cream, so never ate cream cakes. However when I was in my late 30s I decided the cream cakes in the local shop were just what I fancied (I was pregnant at the time). I liked them, and started to eat rather too many of them, which shows that tastes do change. I'm now vegan so they aren't a problem any more.