Advice please for living under same roof when seperating

balletshoes

BLUEBIE wrote: »

The kids are always there but yes I will scream and shout when able lol.

I have her address and phone number so wish I could think of something I could do to get my own back - if only to make myself feel better. If you read some of my earlier posts on this you will see what a nsaty piece of work she is.

x

don't - keep your dignity. She has none, neither does your OH, keep yours and stay well away from her. Don't stoop to their level, it will only drag you down.

FatVonD

BLUEBIE wrote: »

I have her address and phone number so wish I could think of something I could do to get my own back - if only to make myself feel better.

You don't need to do anything, you've soon have offloaded your cheating husband onto her, what worse could you do?

Stan_Here

I assume that the £30K of debt is from the time you have been together which means that "So I need 30,000 from the equity to pay that off" you are assuming full responsibility for the debts because it is coming from the equity which you will use to buy somewhere else to live with the kids - which increases your mortgage. And dont give him any money from any of the equity.

Go see a solicitor. If he has a savings account which he is keeping, he is walking away with zero debts, his savings account etc. As a woman with childen you will be entitled to perhaps 60-90% of the assets of the partnership, depending on earnings, equity values etc and you are also entitled to some of his pension (and he is entitled to yours too as it works both ways). This may be why he is happy for you to have the equity as he gets a clean sheet plus his savings.

Get advice quickly, before the sale is completed and you settle debts. A letter from a solicitor might also help with the distancing because once he knows you are onto him he will be likely to keep his distance.

LittleMrsThrifty

If another woman takes your man, the best revenge you can ever get is to let her keep him.

If you are to file for divorce you need to be living separate lives, even if it is under the same roof. So no cooking or cleaning for him. Don't talk about your day, tell him what you're eating etc. create your own areas and ground rules.

I did it for a couple of months and it was one of the hardest things I ever did. Keep strong. X

abitofhelp

Hi be very careful when your ex says he wants no share of the equity, my ex said that and it ended up a 70% to me the other 30% to him. Luckily i was able to have the mortgage transferred into my name only as our divorce was being processed.
Whilst i cant offer you any advice on living under the same roof after you have seperated, you do have my sympathys. My ex moved out about 11 years ago and due to his working pattern i was able to keep it from our children and parents for a couple of months while i was able to digest what was happening.
LittleMrsThrifty - i loved what you typed, about the best revenge is letting her keep him, brilliant.

Brighter_Future

Oh poor you. Distance yourself totally even though that will be so hard under the same roof. He will soon see what he has lost. Good luck x

BLUEBIE

paddy's_mum wrote: »

I'll bet money that six months from now, he will still be with you!

My reason for saying that?

Nowhere in your posts do I pick up any sense of deep loathing or unstoppable rage. Only when you feel outraged and tempestuous enough to come out of your corner ready to kick, bite, yank hair and gouge will you be able to break free.

I wish you luck.

I can promise you there is no chance we will still be together in 6 months. I suppose I'm more upset and resigned than angrey, I've done anger so many times. Also I actually don't care that much now I feel beaten if you know what I mean. I'm done!

BLUEBIE

hazyjo wrote: »

.

Are you still sharing a bed? Any way you can move into another room? Start living more independently.

Remember, brave face, strength, independence, and dignity. Soon enough, you will both want out. You can do this.

Jx

No luckily we have a spare room which I offered to move him into last night, funnily enough he seemed surprised!

Keep wanting to text him to see what her reaction was to me finding out, I know he text her yesterday as I have access to his phone records, its the one thing he forgot to change the password on!

But then do I really care anyway? I just hurst so much as this was a woman who befriended me on purpose to get closer to him. I don't know why anyone could want someone like that!

DS4215

Are those debts in your name, his name or joint names? - don't pay off any that are solely in his name...

BLUEBIE

DS4215- Most are joint, there are a couple in his sole name, but to be fair we took them out together so don't have a problem paying them off.