Dumped at 46

antrobus

Gloomendoom wrote: »

:huh: What????

Plenty of fish is a dating site. See https://www.pof.com/

Edit: Yes someone beat me to it.

Gloomendoom

meer53 wrote: »

It's an internet dating site !

Ha ha! Nothing to with his diet then. :rotfl:

Gloomendoom

antrobus wrote: »

Plenty of fish is a dating site. See https://www.pof.com/

Edit: Yes someone beat me to it.

Thanks, but there is no way I am clicking on that link. I've read too many "I'm jumping to to conclusions after checking on my husband's internet history" threads on here to risk that.

Invernesschick

I had an email from my husband today. A few home truths and boy did he hit home.
A few facts. He's suffered from depression for years and he's a heavy drinker. This has only gotten worse since he's been unemployed and as money has been tight there have been words from me - the bread winner - about him abusing the joint account. Rightly or wrongly he's taken this to heart and he thinks I only see him as a pot washer and cook and obviously he feels emasculated and useless. I kinda knew all this but I can't cope with that sort of thing so I pretend it's not happening and hope things will get better. Pathetic I know but I've enough on my plate paying the mortgage.
I realise now how much I have hurt him by not acknowledging his problems. He couldn't cope so bolted.
This does change things for me but he feels he can't come back to Inverness till he gets help. Perhaps psychiatric.
I'm so sad this has happened. Classic miscommunication. I will have to have a long think and reevaluate my life.
R x

Mado

Invernesschick wrote: »

I had an email from my husband today. A few home truths and boy did he hit home.
A few facts. He's suffered from depression for years and he's a heavy drinker. This has only gotten worse since he's been unemployed and as money has been tight there have been words from me - the bread winner - about him abusing the joint account. Rightly or wrongly he's taken this to heart and he thinks I only see him as a pot washer and cook and obviously he feels emasculated and useless. I kinda knew all this but I can't cope with that sort of thing so I pretend it's not happening and hope things will get better. Pathetic I know but I've enough on my plate paying the mortgage.
I realise now how much I have hurt him by not acknowledging his problems. He couldn't cope so bolted.
This does change things for me but he feels he can't come back to Inverness till he gets help. Perhaps psychiatric.
I'm so sad this has happened. Classic miscommunication. I will have to have a long think and reevaluate my life.
R x

Don't write him off completely then; it sounds like you could salvage the relationship if you both work on it and there is still love between you.

He needs to sort his drinking (and maybe moving away from you is the kick in backside he needs), and get a job to rebuild his self esteem.

Good luck to you both.

MissMonkeyMoo

Hugs to you, it's not a nice situation to find yourself in at all especially when you still love them and didn't see it coming. People on here have already suggested listening to particular songs - definitely do this! You will find your own anthem along the way somewhere and you will feel better and more empowered each time you listen to it! It really does work!

And it's time for another cliche I'm afraid, but time really is a great healer and the pain that you feel now will subside. No one can tell you how long you will feel this way for, but don't be afraid or ashamed to let all your emotions out and have a good old blub! It's essential for the grieving process!

I know you said you don't have a lot of money to redecorate, but why don't you take a look on freecycle or freegle? I've often seen people giving away decorating stuff on there - including tins of paint! - and this would also help occupy your time a bit and give you a sense of focus. A car boot is also a great idea to get rid of unwanted items and make a bit of spare cash - and who knows what bargains you might find there as well?

best of luck!