What is the norm for a 13th Party?

Acc72

lexuslass wrote: »

The last few parties she has been to have at least provided nibbles and drinks, so I was mortified when she came back on saturday and said she'd had neither!!

but it does seem completely normal now they are at senior school

but I guess I've just been given a reminder into how times have changed

Why were you "mortified" ?

Is your daughter bothered/mortified ? (maybe the kids knew the situation before hand, even though it was not written on the invite).

You have been going on about this for the last 3 days, you need to relax.

As you said times have changed and this seems to be the norm - so what is the problem ?

It is good that your kids are being invited to parties, just let them go and participate the same as all the other kids (which may not necessarily be the same as how you would have participated at their age).

lexuslass

Acc72 wrote: »

Why were you "mortified" ?

Is your daughter bothered/mortified ? (maybe the kids knew the situation before hand, even though it was not written on the invite).

You have been going on about this for the last 3 days, you need to relax.

As you said times have changed and this seems to be the norm - so what is the problem ?

It is good that your kids are being invited to parties, just let them go and participate the same as all the other kids (which may not necessarily be the same as how you would have participated at their age).

erm... I have not been going on about this for the last three days as you put it.. I posted three posts on Saturday evening... I was not on here at all yesterday, so have today come on to read the replies and thank people for responding!!

I wouldn't say my daughter was mortified.. but she was extremely bloody thirsty when she came home!

Yes, times have changed.. I have already said that! But excuse me if this is my first 'teenager' and be asking people on here for advice!

Spendless

lexuslass wrote: »

This was in a 'bowls' club... (not ten pin bowling but actual grass bowls!) ... I assumed they'd hired a room and would put on a few nibbles etc (she's been to about 5 in the last two or three months and they've all been in village hall type places.... so nibbles and drinks were always put on along with a 'disco')... This sounds like it was a room with a paying bar (for 13 year olds???). Maybe it was something put on by the parents so they could invite their own friends, I don't know.

Ahh right. I'm with it now. The food was to be ordered over the bar along with the drinks. Bit like a pub that does food. I'd have also assummed it was a hired function room with food provided by the host, even if the drinks had to be paid for at the bar. It wouldn't have occurred to me that 13 year olds had parties like you have described.

Acc72

lexuslass wrote: »

erm... I have not been going on about this for the last three days as you put it.. I posted three posts on Saturday evening... I was not on here at all yesterday, so have today come on to read the replies and thank people for responding!!

I wouldn't say my daughter was mortified.. but she was extremely bloody thirsty when she came home!

Yes, times have changed.. I have already said that! But excuse me if this is my first 'teenager' and be asking people on here for advice!

No worries, as long as you are relaxed and are not defensive of my comments !! :rotfl:

flopsypurple

my 14yr old goes to parties and always takes money with her for drinks only, I think to ask children to pay for food is down right rude! after all children generally take a card or something, we put £5 in a card as its the general theme between then if its someone closer then more money or a present but no food is wrong.

Gorgeous_But_Grumpy

I remember when my daughter strictly banned me from providing food at her 18th party, I had spent the previous 18 years planning salmon blinis and vol-au-vents and all she would allow me was crisps and Haribos!

Lunar_Eclipse

lexuslass wrote: »

I think that if you are invited to a party, regardless of age, you take some sort of token gift at least!

I agree. I would never go to someone's birthday and/or party completely empty handed and wouldn't let my children do that either.

I have also never heard of 'pay for food & drink' parties. The norm where we live is that if children have a party (lots don't), it's paid for (by the parents) up to and including their 18th. Parties don't need to cost money. Sleepovers at home are very common for 13 year olds. I have a 12 year old daughter. She is currently invited to a mix of sleepover and/or activity parties (swimming/bowling & pizza, assault course, go karting, paint balling etc) which are fully funded by the parents.

I think it's unusual your daughter had nothing to eat and drink. In the future I'd probably be inclined to spend less on the present and ensure she takes money with her, in case this is the norm amongst her peer group.