What is the norm for a 13th Party?

lexuslass

My daughter has been invited to loads of parties lately .... we've spent £15 to £25 on presents/vouchers depending on how 'best friends' they are.

It's got to the stage where there are two to four parties a month...

My OH says that at this age, you do not need to give presents or money.. my daughter says this too...

I think that if you are invited to a party, regardless of age, you take some sort of token gift at least!

She has been to a party this evening...put money in the card.... she has had nothing to eat or drink as it was a 'pay for food and drink' party... I am really p*ssed off... this wasn't stated on the party invite!!!!

I can't believe that they didn't even put jugs of squash out and a few nibbles...

Is this the norm???

kingfisherblue

I've never heard of a 'pay for food and drink' party, unless you mean parties held in bars where you buy your own drinks. Even then, food is usually provided.

As for the amount that you are spending, I feel it is way more than a token gift. I certainly couldn't afford that much. You can put a bit of thought into gifts and still spend less than a tenner. Some fashion jewellery, make up, stationery, books, etc all cost less than you are spending. If you do want to give cash (and let's face it, most 13 year olds love to receive money!), I would have an across the board amount of maybe £10. If a friend classes as 'more best friend', you could always add a small gift if you really need to, but it doesn't have to be expensive.

Becles

I've got 15 and 13 year old boys. It seems to be the norm in secondary school that the birthday boy/girl picks a restaurant/bowling/cinema etc. Each child going pays for their own meal/entry fee, and also takes a present for the birthday child. Mine don't spend a lot on a gift though - up to £10 depending on how best friends they are! I get the job of buying things for the girls though

lexuslass

thanks for your quick replies!

I never normally have a problem spending money if people have spent money on the outset per child for a party if you get what I mean.... my 3 and 5 year old have been invited to a party next weekend, and I know it's cost about £14 per child.... so I have got a decent pressie..

the fact that my daughter has been to a party and hasn't even been offered a drink has really annoyed me!! It wasn't even mentioned on the invite.. else I would have sent her with a couple of quid!!!! :mad:

thegirlintheattic

Where was the party held? If it was at a house I'd be annoyed - anywhere else I'd assume they had to pay their way and pack them off with spending money.

Around here it seems typical only to buy gifts for best friends. Party invites seem to go out to EVERYONE and the kids seem more interested in how many people come than how many presents are given. Some don't even bother with cards.

lexuslass

It was at a 'bowls club'.. in a big hall with about 30+ kids invited

I still think (IMHO) that a party is 'a party' .. the invite stated that... 13 yrs old...It's still a kids party isn't it?

if it had said 'bring money for drinks and food' ...it may have been different, but it didn't say that!!

shellsuit

My son and daughter (16 and 14) have been to parties this year and last year, where they just turn up, empty handed (I too was like "What?! Not even a card?!), there is no food, but they can buy soft drinks for 50p.

The parties are held in either a night club or bar (on a Sunday night in a function room).

They just go for a boogie, to catch up with their mates and eye up their flavour of the month and maybe there is a birthday cake there.

I don't see the point in them to be honest, but that seems to be the norm with teens here.

Tiddlywinks

lexuslass wrote: »

It was at a 'bowls club'.. in a big hall with about 30+ kids invited

I still think (IMHO) that a party is 'a party' .. the invite stated that... 13 yrs old...It's still a kids party isn't it?

if it had said 'bring money for drinks and food' ...it may have been different, but it didn't say that!!

I agree, the invite should at least have said that it was a 'buy your own food' kind of thing... then you could have sent her along with some money or a picnic ** basket and some cans of something to see her through.

At that age it's not like she can just pull out a credit card when caught short of money is it?




** PS: (it it just me, or does anyone else think of Yogi Bear and 'pick-er-nick' when writing picnic? )

lexuslass

shellsuit wrote: »

My son and daughter (16 and 14) have been to parties this year and last year, where they just turn up, empty handed (I too was like "What?! Not even a card?!), there is no food, but they can buy soft drinks for 50p.

The parties are held in either a night club or bar (on a Sunday night in a function room).

They just go for a boogie, to catch up with their mates and eye up their flavour of the month and maybe there is a birthday cake there.

I don't see the point in them to be honest, but that seems to be the norm with teens here.

That would be fine (not sure about the eyeing up though... lol!!)

If I was given an inckling that there was no food or drink, and you'd have to buy your own, that's fine...I'm really peed off that there was no mention of it on the invite!!

Who knows....... next party might be someone that puts on a good spread .. and I'll feel bad not putting anything in the card
:(

Seanymph

we have always limited ourselves on £5.00 for a gift. Until the kids were working and bought their won presents.

We had a 'present cupboard' where I would put things from sales (often after chrismas - jewellery and smellies type things usually - and they would take something out of the cupboard for gifts.

As for them taking money, it depends on the venue, We took a group paintballing for SS's 15th last year, and we paid entry and the first so many balls - and then they had to pay to play for longer if they wanted to (everyone did!) - but we did explain that to everyone coming along with the costs.

We provided the picnic lunch though.

Everyone does it differently I guess - it's just about communication.

ailuro2

when DD was 13 last year I did a Twilight themed sleepover for her and a few mates, made them a meal, supplied the DVDs snacks and breakfast. They got dressed up in party type clothes and brought little pressies for DD, nothing more than a tenner though.

Going to a party where you don't give a gift and pay for your own food isn't a party, it's just an afternoon or night out!