Struggling

clearingout

mealone wrote: »

I have read all your threads, including the deleted ones and you are just as bad as your husband, you are both using the kids as pawns so it both of you that are upsetting and emotionally damaging the kids and you both should be utterly ashamed of yourselves.

A very wise woman once said you should love your kids more than you hate your ex.

And the kids are not cash cows, you both want residency so you can claim the benefits for them, are you now giving the ex, the money you are claiming for them? Or are you still refusing too? They have been away from you for a long time and it disgraceful that youhave kept even one penny of the money you are given to pay for the things they need just to get one over on the ex.

I think this is unreasonable and entirely unfair. Have you ever had anything like this happen to you? has anyone taken your children from you and refused to return them or even let you see them? have you ever had to make ends meet following the break down of a relationship?

Rainbow - people do believe you. There will always be those with a cynical head on so ignore it. I have 'been there, done that' and come out the other side - you will too. Thinking of you xxx

RainbowDreamer

Thank you clearing. I am feeling much better today. Feeling anxious about facing him today, but at the same time really looking forward to collecting the children.
I love the time I spend with them, even the getting up at 6am. It is the days I do not have them that are the hardest. I constantly question my actions in regards to contacting ss and the police when further developments occur.
But I see the DV worker once a week, so have been saving it up for when I see her, and then asking her opinion on it. As I trust her to tell me what needs reporting and what doesn't.
Normally it does need reporting, but at least when she has advised that I contact the relevant people, if they seem uninterested I can mention that it is she who has advised I contact them.
The ball is rolling with the current case, hoping to hear good news by the end of next week.

I think I would breath a sign of relief once the truth comes out in the open.
Been having nasty nightmares all week of my kids being taken away or of me being put into a refuse for my own safety. I guess its just my worries surfacing when I am asleep.

Anyway, sorry for the rant.

Dunroamin

mealone wrote: »

I have read all your threads, including the deleted ones and you are just as bad as your husband, you are both using the kids as pawns so it both of you that are upsetting and emotionally damaging the kids and you both should be utterly ashamed of yourselves.

A very wise woman once said you should love your kids more than you hate your ex.

And the kids are not cash cows, you both want residency so you can claim the benefits for them, are you now giving the ex, the money you are claiming for them? Or are you still refusing too? They have been away from you for a long time and it disgraceful that youhave kept even one penny of the money you are given to pay for the things they need just to get one over on the ex.

I agree - people should remember that there are always 2 sides to every story.

RainbowDreamer

Your right there are 2 sides. And obviously you are only hearing mine. But I disagree that I am using them as pawns. I am doing everything to ensure their safety and well-being.
If I was doing it the wrong way, surely I would not have professional support who is advising me of the correct way to deal with the situation and supporting me in court.
Anyway I refuse to let negative comments effect me, because I know I am doing right by my children. Most mothers in my situation would be bad mouthing the father to the children, which I never do. And the children would be effected negatively when in my care, which they are not.

January20

RainbowDreamer, ignore the negative comments, especially as now that 1 person has written something negative, you can expect a few more (pack mentality - they wouldn't have dared on their own - I've seen it time and time again here sadly)

You know what is what. You know you are doing right by your children. You are getting professional support in rl. That is all that matters.

Dunroamin

January20 wrote: »

RainbowDreamer, ignore the negative comments, especially as now that 1 person has written something negative, you can expect a few more (pack mentality - they wouldn't have dared on their own - I've seen it time and time again here sadly)

.

I always think the hugs gang are the biggest pack on here!

shegirl

mealone wrote: »

I have read all your threads, including the deleted ones and you are just as bad as your husband, you are both using the kids as pawns so it both of you that are upsetting and emotionally damaging the kids and you both should be utterly ashamed of yourselves.

A very wise woman once said you should love your kids more than you hate your ex.

And the kids are not cash cows, you both want residency so you can claim the benefits for them, are you now giving the ex, the money you are claiming for them? Or are you still refusing too? They have been away from you for a long time and it disgraceful that youhave kept even one penny of the money you are given to pay for the things they need just to get one over on the ex.

Rainbow dreamer,please tell me you aren't keeping the kids benefits and this is the money you are using for your sun bed sessions,gym and the pampering bits you've been buying?

If you are still claiming money for the kids you need to be handing that over.You'll then also need to possibly get your benefits changed if you're on income support rather than jobseekers (I don't think you work,do you?)

shegirl

Dunroamin wrote: »

I always think the hugs gang are the biggest pack on here!

:grouphug::kisses3::group hug:



*runs before getting slapped*

RainbowDreamer

All CB and TC have been put into a savings account atm. I have been told by ss and solicitor I should not be giving him any money, due to the court result being temp and because he does not pay maintenance.
I am following advice from a professional. Surely thats what I should be doing.

shegirl

RainbowDreamer wrote: »

All CB and TC have been put into a savings account atm. I have been told by ss and solicitor I should not be giving him any money, due to the court result being temp and because he does not pay maintenance.
I am following advice from a professional. Surely thats what I should be doing.

What is he providing for the children with?How long have they been with him/not living with you and how long are they expected to be with him?Him not paying maintenance has nothing to do with it.

What are you going to do if he applies for the benefits you are currently receiving for the kids?