how much cash as gift for a friend careless with money

AllyS

How about contacting the dress shop and paying off some of the balance for the dress? That way you know it is spent on something worthwhile and it may lesson the burden for them

Idiophreak

Have they asked for cash for anything in particular?

Normally people ask for stuff for the honeymoon, savings for a house, savings for a new sofa etc - it's rare that they just want "cash for the sake of it". Depending on what they want the cash for, you can normally do *something* that ensures they spend the money on the right thing.

Personally, however, I'd just give back the 300 and forget about it. I know what you mean about you working hard to save every penny...but, playing devil's advocate, you didn't work that hard for the £300 they gave you...

HKitten

I think you should give as much as you're comfortable giving. I could never justify giving £300 to someone as a wedding gift, I'd be grateful if they did it for me but my limit would be more like £50!

Because of this, I'd usually buy a nice gift or something instead, so they don't have an exact monetary figure glaring at them. But obviously this depends on whether you think you can buy something they'd appreciate or whether they would really just prefer the cash.

Do you think they're of the opinion that you are in similar financial positions, or are they better off despite how they spend?

sugarwalsh

£300 seems excessive to me, but perhaps if you move in circles where every one earns lots of money it could be normal.
in the end the amount is irrelevant. How you feel about giving it is the point. Give it with love and joy. There is little worse than getting a gift along with a side order of resentment.
when they gave you your gift did it come with instructions about how to spend it?

minerva_windsong

If they haven't asked for cash for something in particular, I would give what you can afford in vouchers for somewhere like John Lewis or Debenhams. That way they can still spend it on what they like, albeit in one specific shop.

Just out of curiosity, what was your friend like with money before she met her fiance? I'm just wondering as it seems to be him saying 'no, you're getting a £900 dress because it's better quality' whereas from what you've posted she seemed quite happy to get the cheaper dress...

sweetilemon

£300 is a lot, more than i would spend or expect but if thats what they gave you, and you can afford it back then I would give them £300 tbh. If they haven't asked for money the i would maybe get them a gift, something nice and personal and vouchers/ currency for their honeymoon. If its not just cash, if your careful with your exchange rates and gift it might not have to cost £300 to have the value. Do you know for sure they do not have the money? I work hard and save hard but friends often comment on my spending on credit cards. I use credit cards and pay them off in full but thats no-ones business but mine. It sounds like his business allows for big spending habits.

roses

Thanks all for the feedback. She told me she lives off her overdraft so I know definitely that she is struggling, she has cried to me many times about money but remains with her head in the sand and doesn't take advice on how to resolve.

Her oh is self employed and struggeling and she is an administrator so not well off at all. They both just seem to have no clue at all how to spend or save within their means.

Would £300 of sainsburys vouchers be offensive or is the general feedback I should give £300 cash and be quiete?

Idiophreak

roses wrote: »

Would £300 of sainsburys vouchers be offensive or is the general feedback I should give £300 cash and be quiete?

It's hard to be too offended when someone's giving you £300...but I think the best case is they'd think it a little odd - and at worst they'd find it just plain patronising...

daisiegg

roses wrote: »

Thanks all for the feedback. She told me she lives off her overdraft so I know definitely that she is struggling, she has cried to me many times about money but remains with her head in the sand and doesn't take advice on how to resolve.

Her oh is self employed and struggeling and she is an administrator so not well off at all. They both just seem to have no clue at all how to spend or save within their means.

Would £300 of sainsburys vouchers be offensive or is the general feedback I should give £300 cash and be quiete?

Just give the cash. Sainsbury's vouchers for a wedding present? I would be puzzled if not offended. If you want to do vouchers at least do them for a department store where they can buy nice things for the house.

wanchai_2

It's nobody else's business what they spend their money on. Give what you want and give it gladly. This thread is really odd tbh.