Need Advice...

Aesop

suki1001 wrote: »

She could of course be the world's worst wife, but from my experience, you have children and when you live together, unless you talk properly, the accusations come flying. They're not neccessarily true, but when marriage breaks down you see the worst in that person.

I don't know what level I would have to get to to sell my body, but I know life would have to be pretty bad to put this above my family.

we don't know AbusedDad's wife and as you say we only read what is posted. But from knowing people in real life, some just enjoy that lifestyle and would happily do it regardless of whether children are involved or not. For some it is a power thing, the control of who visits, etc. It maybe desperation to earn her own money? We don't know, as we don't hear her side, and we can only speculate.

It is a difficult situation and very sad that it has had to happen at all.

AbusedDad

suki1001 wrote: »

Ok, thank you for not taking my post the wrong way and flying off the handle at me.

I don't think you're a bad parent, I'm sure you are a good dad, although I think it's not safe if the children live in a house where she's bringing back clients. I'm not making excuses for your wife either, but it's just a rather desperate situation to end up in - escorting, that's incredibly sad she has such little respect for herself.

It does sound like you would take yourself off to the pub if home got stressful. My oh used to think I spent the whole day going out with friends and not doing anything, until he started working from home when mine were a bit older. Interestingly, we see my sister with 2 young children and her husband thinks she does nothing all day, my husband thinks this is unfair, but this is what he thought when mine were little and he realises he was wrong and a bit harsh to have that opinion.

She could of course be the world's worst wife, but from my experience, you have children and when you live together, unless you talk properly, the accusations come flying. They're not neccessarily true, but when marriage breaks down you see the worst in that person.

I don't know what level I would have to get to to sell my body, but I know life would have to be pretty bad to put this above my family.

I am not the sort of person to fly off the handle, glad you read what i put too. I knew that she was not at home as she would text me to say that she was shopping, out seeing friends or working. I know how hard it is having children at home all day as when my son was born I took 6 months off work and did everything in the house. I understand what spending time at home all day can do, but it was a decision that she made and i supported her.

With the children being at school all day she could have gone and got part time work if she wanted to get out of the house and earn some more money.

AbusedDad

Aesop wrote: »

I think as she is the one who went to the Police and made a charge against AbusedDad that he allegedly forced her into prostitution, they will allow the children to stay with her.

It will be upto the police and the prosecution to prove that she started the prostitution and I am not sure with a pending case, if the courts would agree it was definitely happening.

But as I suggested to arrange visitation rights, speak to your solicitor.

Thank you for your continuing input.

My family solicitor knows all of the details and has already written to the wife regarding access to the children. As of yet my solicitor has not had a reply from her or her solicitor.

I have a feeling she will try to make this has hard and expensive for me as possible due to the fact that she is entitiled to legal aid.

After I left the home i found all of the profiles she had created online and took snap shots of them, these are on the laptop that the police have while all proves beyond doubt that is was her doing and not mine. The times of things happening was while i was at work or at the pub. Both of which are fully accountable and on CCTV.

Triker

AbusedDad wrote: »

I am not the sort of person to fly off the handle, glad you read what i put too. I knew that she was not at home as she would text me to say that she was shopping, out seeing friends or working. I know how hard it is having children at home all day as when my son was born I took 6 months off work and did everything in the house. I understand what spending time at home all day can do, but it was a decision that she made and i supported her.

With the children being at school all day she could have gone and got part time work if she wanted to get out of the house and earn some more money.

Those texts are your evidence against the accusation re the forced prostitution as are any that are abusive, threatening or nasty.

Do you have any details of where/how she advertised her services?

AbusedDad

Triker wrote: »

Those texts are your evidence against the accusation re the forced prostitution as are any that are abusive, threatening or nasty.

Do you have any details of where/how she advertised her services?

The police have my iPhone which has a copy of every text message she has sent me and they also have my laptop with screen shots of the sites she was on.

The meets she had would be while i was at work or the pub, and with me being accused of arranging for the men and then taking the money straight off of them while overlooking what was happening, the evidence that is on my devices and her phone should make the case collapse.

Yes i know from her telling me and finding out more afterwards the sites she is on, there was 7 or 8 sites in total.

AbusedDad

My issues continue to grow.

I have been speaking with a friend to try to arrange access to my children. My friend was told by the wife that she will only deal with me or a solicitor, which is fair enough, apart from the fact that my bail clearly states that i am not allowed to communicate with her unless it is via a third party to arrange child access.

My wife advised my friend that my bail conditions have been lifted and that i should contact her. This is the second time in 3 days that she has tried to get me to speak with her.

Upon returning back to the house i am in i spoke with the custody suite at the arresting station to be advised that i am still on bail until the 23rd July and the conditions have not been lifted.

They have advised that they are going to visit the wife as she has now tried to get me to breach my bail conditions twice.

Can the police do anything to her for deliberately trying to get me to breach bail?

DVardysShadow

AbusedDad wrote: »

....
Can the police do anything to her for deliberately trying to get me to breach bail?

My advice: You should have left the police out of it. They will in no sense be your friend on any of this, nor are they to be trusted. The system is now out to stitch you up. The only concern of the police is to ensure that their witness does not screw up their case against you. The best thing to do is to keep your mouth shut and communicate the facts to your criminal lawyer in a note, each time it happens

daska

DVS is right, if she tries to contact you in any way tell your solicitor first - let your solicitor decide what action to take. This tack will give her more rope to hang herself with. Keep evidence if you can.

AbusedDad

Another change of events, I have received a phone call today from the Police to advise that the charges have been dropped and i no longer need to answer bail. She has admitted that was lying. Lets hope she gets what is coming to her!!

daska

AbusedDad wrote: »

Another change of events, I have received a phone call today from the Police to advise that the charges have been dropped and i no longer need to answer bail. She has admitted that was lying. Lets hope she gets what is coming to her!!

I'm really glad to hear it. Now get your solicitors to sort it out. Her admitting to making false allegations will do nothing to strengthen her case if you pursue residency. And there is still no need to be in direct contact with her - especially if she might engineer things in order to make a further allegation.

Good luck.