Confused by feelings for a man

Old_Joe

My grandson in his post 25years of age who girls seem attracted to him has had a couple of relationships that have finished.

The third, recently he felt the girl was getting was trying to get too serious too quickly - as I suspect that having been hurt twice already - was frightened off by her.
Culd this be the case as the man desribed here I wonder?

tenke

mynameistallulah wrote: »

He's just not that into you.

This !


A man that really likes you, wants to make it happen, men are straightforward in actions.
Showing interest, with actual actions, means real insterest.
Not showing enough actual interest or cannot be bothered to try harder mean actually not so much interest, unfortunately

I feel for you, getting out of a long relationship, leaves you a bit vulnerable, but the good news is that your heart and attitude is one of openess to love again, so the right person who cherishes you will come in time !!:j

Good luck, sending you big positive vibes !!!:T

LouLou

It's an awful situation when a guy sends mixed messages..which probably happened in the beginning, but suggesting you look for a man on a dating site, wow, I would go right OFF him. How rude.

The communication restrictions are a bit of a clue, I'm afraid, and leaving you to draw your own conclusions and overthink things. Best to avoid internet/text contact as much as possible when trying to get close to someone.

A lot of men use these means as a barrier to hide elements of their life they'd rather not share. Might not be what's happening but he's definitely keeping you at arm's length. Listen to actions, not his words.

It could well be that he's enjoyed the flirty banter and hasn't thought too far ahead. Odd behaviour but some guys are like that, particularly when there's other options around. How much of it is him being manipulative, it's hard to say, but I'd be surprised if he didn't have some inkling (before your email).

You need a man who is upfront, demonstrative and open with his feelings. In person. Not through a monitor or phone screen. There's some people in this world you just "click" with and feel that balance from the off. The tricky part is finding them (applies to friends or lovers).

At this point it's little more than a crush..his feelings appear to be more ambiguous (sorry if that sounds blunt; it's not meant to be). Though I wouldn't be able to see past the "dating site" comment. That would be me Out.

Good luck and as others have said, the great positive is that you're moving on and considering a new relationship. Be sure you feel 100% about him (you definitely aren't with this guy). Don't get too caught up in the hearts and flowers. I know it's hard to do when you're emotionally vulnerable but hold back a little. You deserve happiness, respect and a worthy partner.

curlygirl1971

Miss_Pixie wrote: »

Thanks all.

Definitely think he is single as he's mentioned it several times before he knew I was interested in him.

Think I've just made a complete fool of myself then

I'm a recovering DV survivor and probably just craving being loved too much. He knows that as well which makes it feel a million times worse that he was probably just ego boosting

Apologies If I repeat anything here that has already been said - I've not read all the replies.

Even though I don't know you, I hate the fact that in your first post you referred to yourself as stupid and in this post you say you've made a fool of yourself. Please don't think that - you took a chance on someone and it didn't pay off. If they have messed you around then they are the fool, not You. What would make you foolish is to continue to allow them to do it. But in the grand scheme of things You'd have been more of a fool not to take a little risk.

I've been strung along, I've been someone's ego boost, I've had my heart broken....but when I look back, my biggest regrets are missed chances and lack of confidence. I've also made excuses for people - 'ah well he's been hurt so he's frightened / confused' blah blah blah....'so i'll give him time, i'll let him send me mixed messages and blow hot and cold, i'll let him be a moody so&so....' but its all crap. I've been hurt, I've been frightened, but I wouldnt give anyone the run around unless thats exactly what I wanted to do.

I know we've only heard one side here but I don't like the sound of this guy. How would you advise a friend.... 'look after number one', 'life's too short to be messed around'.?

It's very hard when you've come out of an abusive relationship and then been single for a while and then you feel as if you've finally met someone nice, someone you think you surely deserve because of all you've been through..........but it doesn't sound like you have, yet. We all need our ego boosting now and again and it sounds like you do too - hold your head up high, his loss and eventually someones else's gain.

Best of luck x

System

Bangton wrote: »

Everything *max* said, I would agree with.

Put bluntly you should never have to wonder if feelings are reciprocated...someone genuinely interested would make it known and would be keen to hook up. I appreciate he has messaged you but rather than get your hopes up I think you would be wiser to cease contact as it seems to be the ego boost that he is enjoying....

...I know it's not nice when you really do like someone

I kind of have to second this.

I quite liked a guy for a while but he seemed to lose interest after the initial attraction and i had to accept there was nothing there. Am now seeing someone and he is completely different, and has made it very obvious he's interested etc. If there is something there you shouldnt have to forced it.

Give him some space as the ball is in his court, if nothing happens then as hard as it is just try to come to terms with the fact he just wasn't the one for you


Aldo don't feel stupid, it happens to all of us at some point