Not liking a friends child

acl2009

OP, you think that not liking your friends DD is bad....I'm ashamed to admit that even though I love him, I don't like my nephew! (DH's sisters son)

If you go over to their house everything has to revolve around him, eg me and his mum were talking and he just comes in shouting that he's bored and wants to play some sort of game, his mum turns straight to him and indulges his mini tantrum.

They came over here and I was showing her the nursery for our new baby, he starts pulling at her saying he doesnt like being in this room and he's bored and wants to do something else. He also thought it was perfectly acceptable to run up and down my living room jumping from one chair to another, I actually at that point had to ask her if she could ask him not to do that. And the best bit....at 4 years old I was absolutely disgusted to see him sit and eat his food without any cutlery and I'm talking even things like baked beans and mash potato!

Ok, yes I know a lot of this is to do with how he has been raised as children will do what they think they can get away with. Doesn't stop me not wanting him to come to my house though!!

miss_independent

OP, I know it doesn't help but it could be worse, at least you are not related to her. My niece dictates when we all eat, what we all eat, where we all eat, destroys anything she percieves to be nice (i.e my i-phone, a newly painted door in our house, tries to pick holes in leather sofa), she wanders all through any house she goes in (very rudely), she constantly demands attention, is a right little show off, is extremely judgemental and has had a way of making us all feel uncomfortable since she was around 4 years old (to be blunt she can't half sh*t stir) - my brother (her dad, a respectful, level headed, professional man) seems not to notice any of this, I saw her thump her little brother hard over the head for absolutely no reason and sort of exclaimed out loud because it was a heavy thud on his little head and all my brother could say was "its ok he has a hard head! It's not worth the trouble it would cause telling her off". When I had to ask her to please sit at the table to eat (she was dropping food and drink all over the house, walking around whilst eating, leaving bits of uneaten food and drink throughout the house) she said "I'm calling mum." and proceeded to have a !!!!! on her mobile to her mother, right in front of me.

I love kids, I work with kids. I love her brother, I love my brother and actually I love her, but I definitely don't like her very much and I can't say anything because I don't want a feud in the family because of a 10 year old child. At six years old, my niece could look right through my mother, make a !!!!-stirring comment and make a grown woman cry. My mother would describe her (her first and much longed for grandchild) as "creepy" and would be scared of being left alone with her! This is a child who has no learning difficulties or attention deficit problems at all, she is perfectly normal, just controlling, manipulative and full of self-importance. But she is my niece and so I treat her with as much love as I can, as does my mother, because I don't want her to feel unloved.

I'd say just keep doing what you are doing, see her in the evenings. Don't invite the child to your house. Little un will be at school before you know it!

ClareEmily

My friend's little boy aged 4 has changed from a smiley toddler to a little lad who never even bothers to lift his head from playing on his parents iphones when we visit. We try to engage him, include him, play with him, and he just doesn't want to know.

He is also jealous of the attention our 18 month old gets, and will hit, kick or sit on him when he thinks noone is looking.

I love him to bits but just don't like him very much at the moment, and it is a shame he doesn't get on with our son, as we could do more days out etc.

I am hoping he grows out of it.

mrcow

acl2009 wrote: »

And the best bit....at 4 years old I was absolutely disgusted to see him sit and eat his food without any cutlery and I'm talking even things like baked beans and mash potato!

That must take ages - do you have to eat the beans one by one?

If someone (anyone) was leaping on my furniture, I wouldn't ask their parent to ask them to stop. The instruction would be a loud, "No, get down, now".

As others have said, it's not the child's fault that they have completely useless parents that don't understand the importance of boundaries and encouraging manners/civility. A child that refuses to say "hello" or "thank you" etc to a host is just being out and out rude and should be pulled up on it by their parent.

Sally_A

JodyBPM, you are saying on a forum what a million of us have thought and just shut up and put up.

Do you have a child of a similar age?

Invite said pampered brat around if your friend wants to go out for the evening, and show her that the world does not revolve around her - she will learn that soon enough at school, or will be ostracised by the majority of her classmates (there will always be the pinky pinky princess special ones). Guaranteed to be involved she will soon muck in.

It's not cruel, and her seeing that different people do things differently could be the making/waking up of her.

Gra76

There's nothing wrong with disliking a friends child, I positively despise one of my friends 5 year old daughter. Here's why:

- When they arrive the TV has to be showing a specific channel or she screams and throws things around until it's put on.
- If you give her a drink and it's not to her taste she throws it on the floor.
- If you don't get her a biscuit/bag of crisps when she demands she screams until she gets it. Also, when she has been round for dinner before, if she doesn't like what you give her the plate goes on the floor.
- She has been known to punch and bite my kids if they don't let her play with the toy she wants right there and then.
- She's a thieving little swine who has been found more than once filling her pockets with my wife's rather expensive jewellery after expressly being told to stay out of our bedroom drawers.

Now in fairness the little brat has been brought up the wrong way (spoilt rotten and given everything she could ever want since birth) but you can't tell that to my friend, it goes in one ear and out the other. He thinks she'll grow out of it and does nothing to discourage her behaviour. I daren't go out in public with them because his daughter almost always ends up creating a scene which often involves lying on the floor screaming.

I don't see them much these days. I decided it was too stressful so I don't invite my friend round anymore unless it involves leaving the spoilt brat at home with his other half!