Real life MMD: Should we tell relatives "we're not a free hotel"?

edited 1 May 2012 at 6:16PM in Money Saving Polls
87 replies 20.3K views
1234689

Replies

  • bogwartbogwart Forumite
    117 Posts
    I think you should definitely make it clear to them that you are not running a business, but you do expect them to pitch in. Why should you be expected to look after them for nothing?

    With respect, it doesn't say much about your relatives that they feel comfortable with you acting as an unpaid skivvy. It's about give and take.

    Some years ago we used to visit an aunt and uncle of mine who lived at the seaside. We had twin toddlers, and we made sure that we were not an imposition, and paid a contribution towards food and lodging while we were there.
  • We lived on Hayling Island and then moved to Spain where we had lots of visitors. We had a kitty, everyone put in £50 each and when there was no money left, we put in another amount. If there was any money left at the end of the holiday, especially in Spain as it was a lot cheaper than the UK, then we had a nice meal in one of the local restaurants... Make the point as soon as they arrive then you wont have any problems.
  • Joface_2Joface_2 Forumite
    30 Posts
    dannahaz wrote: »
    It's not easy to deal with this, ............................

    ..[/I]

    I think Dannahaz's email is excellent,:T it is friendly, polite and crystal clear. I'd send it as soon as possible so your visitors have plenty of time to make alternative arrangements.
  • ronangelronangel Forumite
    124 Posts
    Go on holiday during the season they normaly come down tell them you are away. or advertise for b+b and MAKE some money serving people! then go on holiday of your own with the money.:cool:
    The richard montgomery matter

  • ronangelronangel Forumite
    124 Posts
    We lived on Hayling Island and then moved to Spain where we had lots of visitors. We had a kitty, everyone put in £50 each and when there was no money left, we put in another amount. If there was any money left at the end of the holiday, especially in Spain as it was a lot cheaper than the UK, then we had a nice meal in one of the local restaurants... Make the point as soon as they arrive then you wont have any problems.

    Good idea to mention the kitty thing along with money tight at present, BEFORE they come as they might say did not bring/have much money and resentment all around.
    The richard montgomery matter

  • el_grecoel_greco Forumite
    1 Post
    You can do a few things to solve your predicament. You can go and stay with your relatives for the same length of time as they do to you to see if they will like it. Another is to announce that you have taken a lodger and have no room to spare for them. One other solution will be to say to them that the cost of entertaining and accommodating these days is attrocious and you are going to reconsider whether it is any longer viable to entertain relatives as in the past at your home.
  • jelly7jelly7 Forumite
    5 Posts
    Hi Really it is best to be honest, they will be upset but will get over it, Upset because you wont let them walk all over you.:mad:
    Still let them come but you and your family can treat yourselves and eat out everyday! provide just milk and bread for toast, also you could leave leaflets( that do fast food home delivery) in their room. :T
    Take the fuse out of the washing machine plug - a little white lie like?, - ie - 'needs to be mended but we cannot afford it at the moment'
    :A
    We r lucky that 'stay overs' always pay their way and appreciate the free accommodation .;) But we do the same for them when we stay at theirs!:D
  • How about casually mentioning to your friends and relations that you have started taking Paying Guests and that there are a constant stream of such visitors in the holiday periods and that the extra money is very handy.
    That would make it very awkward for anyone to suggest visiting overnight unless they,of their own accord, volunteered to pay the going rate which you no doubt may have mentioned in passing.
    If anyone had the gall to say they were still coming then the answer would be " Sorry we're booked that week-end and for the next few"
  • MiniMogMiniMog Forumite
    4 Posts
    Hello.. this is my first post ever so "Pop!!"


    My advice is to tell all those who take advantage "Can you check with us plenty in advance if you'd like to come and stay as money is getting really tight and we're considering renting our room out as holiday accommodation to make a bit of extra cash so it might already be booked and we can't afford to have a non-paying guest when we might have a paying guest."

    And then maybe actually do that as well :)

    Or just be honest and say "We love having you hear but we're having to cut back on visitors as our food shopping bills go up SO much when we have people come to stay."

    Or go and stay at their house and do the same to them :P
    =^,,^=
  • purple.sarahpurple.sarah Forumite
    2.5K Posts
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    ✭✭✭✭
    They shouldn't come over unless you invite them. If they suggest a visit, say you're busy, say you're only free for a weekend not a week, or suggest a lovely local hotel! They are taking advantage. When I am visiting family, I don't see it as a holiday in the same way as staying at a hotel, it's a nice change of scene but I don't put my feet up and let my host do everything, I help out. And I wouldn't dream of overstaying my welcome. It's your home, this will only go on as long as you allow it. Don't let them get away with it!
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