Real life MMD: Should we tell relatives "we're not a free hotel"?

Former_MSE_Debs

Money Moral Dilemma: Should we tell relatives "we 're not a free hotel"?

We live by the beach, so at this time of year relatives visit. Although we like to see them for a couple of days, we have a succession of visitors who stay for 1-2 weeks and do nothing because they're on holiday, while we run around for them as though we were a hotel. This is a free stay, but costs us a lot of money.

Click reply to have your say

Previous MMDs: View All


[threadbanner] box [/threadbanner]

VoucherMan

Definitely.

Although I think I'd be 'undertaking some major redecorating' so sorry but there's no room.

The phone may even develop a mysterious fault when these relatives call. Caller ID was a wonderful invention.

gemmar1987

Definitely! They should at least pay you something, not full B&B prices by any means, but at least enough to cover their share of food/washing etc. to at least cover costs whilst they're there. They're already getting a holiday for cheap, but it shouldn't be free.
I can't believe they're rude enough not to offer you anything already anyway... I'd be ashamed to stay with a relative for so long and not offer anything in the way of help, monitary or otherwise!
If they treat you as glorified hotel owners, charge them as patrons, and get them to help out round the house!

pee.vee

i think you should say that everyone knows how prices have increased and things are a lot tighter for you. you would love to see them, but will need a contribution towards the bills and that it would be fair to split the food bills for the week between all of you. if they hum and ha over it, suddenly have alternative arrangements, or, say it will only be convenient for a weekend, if they still aren't happy, then sadly you are being totally used and possibly need to tell them this. good luck

missrlr

Oh yes, they need to be coughing up, food contributions, wine,beer, a meal out, that is common courtesy for using someone's home. Especially for a few weeks! Good luck with that conversation it is not going be easy.

day_sie

Why don't you suggest that you 'go to them' this time? Instead of giving them the same treatment, actually spend a week with your relative and get them to show you around their area and perhaps their next visit will be more pleasant!

duchy

Or just stop running around them when they come to stay ?

.Johanna.

Why don't you offer to take them shopping when they arrive? When my friends or family come to stay for a few days they never expect me to provide for food or anything, but I take them to a supermarket so they can buy what they want. The cost of gas and electricity always goes up during these stays and I end up with more washing-up than normally, but they always bring gifts and sometimes buy things to share so it all equals up in the end.

Talent

Seems like you have a load of bludgers for relatives and it has gone on for some time so difficult to change now without some bad feeling. What are you going to do as you get older?
Time to put your foot down with a firm hand and tell them all, politely, you can't be doing it anymore. You can also send them brochures for holiday accommodation nearby. That should sort it.

maddiecat

My family have a similar problem, wonderful large house on the beach, so they have a sign up with contribution rates per night per person (it isn't much but helps pay for food, extra electricity, water etc.). Everyone knows about it and nobody minds. They do like visitors, so if you don't want the influx you should just be less welcoming and more grumpy.

tallgirld

They probably think you love it when they come to stay. Just tell them if they want to come again they have to contribute towards their stay.

Before they arrive clear out the fridge and let them buy their own food as well.