North Essex / Suffolk villages

VfM4meplse

A few of summers ago, I took a (now ex) b/f on a jaunt through the Essex countryside.

He had been taking the p about my Essex roots and I thought I could change his mind about the county if I showed him some of the nicer (rural) parts. So off we went, took in the villages around Chelmsford leading upto Colchester and down to Mersea. We had a really fun day out.

Well, such was the success of my plan, he now wishes to move away from London to one of these remote flatland villages with his new family, anywhere upto south Suffolk. I can understand the tranquility of these places, the chocolate box appeal, safe family environment and the obvious value for money compared to the east end of London, but am not sure that he will find this plan to be a good move and have suggested that he rents a cottage for a week's family holiday for some combined R&R / househunting before they commit to any plan.

I am very aware that some villages can be parochial and adverse to anyone new or is not seen to fit in, usually for reasons of status (old money / connections) - I have heard of campaigns of evacuation being mounted against the clergy, so it seems that no-one is immune! My ex and his wife are not WASPs, and although from the price range they are looking at I get the impression there are unlikely to be near-neighbours, I am concerned that socially this will not be a good move for their young family.

I'm from south Essex, which is far less rural than north. I'd like to hear from anyone who knows rural mid-north Essex / south Suffolk villages, particularly how welcoming they are to outsiders and those who are seen to be foreign.

Better_Days

Before taking the plunge they may wish to consider renting for 6 months to get to know the area, and if they like it. Hopefully this will enable them to find out which villages/areas may suit them best. As they have children they will need to do some research into school/nursery catchment areas. It's a big move and my DH struggled initially (which resulted in a house move) as he was originally a city boy.

Without knowing a bit more where your ex is considering it is difficult to advise further although I would mention that they look into transport links in some detail. Driving to work, school or to the supermarket on back roads can be scenic, but also costly in terms of time and fuel. I used to enjoy driving the 10 miles home on the tiddly roads in the summer (apart from when I met a tractor round a corner on the wrong side of the road), it was a nice way to wind down at the end of the day. But it wasn't much fun in the winter when it was dark in the morning and evening, and the roads flooded.

As to how welcoming communities would be, I suspect it varies a great deal. It depends partly on how much your ex and his family want to get involved locally and how much effort they are prepared to put in. Children will help I would think as there will lots of opportunity for contact with 'the locals'. I think your ex and his family also need to have a good think about what they want from this lifestyle and if it is realistic taking into account their personal circumstances.

If you could provide a smaller area for consideration there may be those who can give some tips on areas to avoid, or those that are more pleasant.

VfM4meplse

Better_Days wrote: »

If you could provide a smaller area for consideration there may be those who can give some tips on areas to avoid, or those that are more pleasant.

He's looking at the areas between and including Maldon and Tolleshunt D'Arcy. I am really concerned that these are areas that have never encountered BMEs.

Better_Days

On the basis that the daftest question is the one that isn't asked - what's a BME please?

Also you may get more responses if you include the names of the places in your thread title. It's not an area I am familiar with so sorry can't provide any more info.

pinkteapot

I grew up in Kelvedon and now live in Colchester (for reasons of practicality - want to move out to a village in the future).

Where will he (and his other half?) be working? Do they need to commute in to London?

Are there kids and if so what ages? The villages with the best primary schools tend to be more expensive for housing. E.g. Great Totham.

The big towns are Colchester and Chelmsford - he should check both out as one would be his 'local' town so he should consider whether there is one he prefers and also check how far he will be from it.

To be honest I'm not aware of any villages that are that bad in terms of clique-iness. There are some I know in Suffolk that seem a bit 'odd' and I wouldn't be sure about the communities, but those in Essex seem generally down to earth and friendly.

Better_Days

pinkteapot wrote: »

There are some I know in Suffolk that seem a bit 'odd' and I wouldn't be sure about the communities,

Ohh - do tell please!!

gil13

Perhaps look for property along the river Stour, this is the boundary between Suffolk and Essex and there is some reasonable value to be found.

shegar

Better_Days wrote: »

Ohh - do tell please!!

Im from Suffolk and definately not odd.....:eek:.!!.We are lovely people that help anyone else and very neighbourly, .....:D, im north Suffolk......

greenhill

shegar wrote: »

Im from Suffolk and definately not odd.....:eek:.!!.We are lovely people that help anyone else and very neighbourly, .....:D, im north Suffolk......

Waves out of the window to Shegar:)

VfM4meplse

Better_Days wrote: »

On the basis that the daftest question is the one that isn't asked - what's a BME please?

Also you may get more responses if you include the names of the places in your thread title. It's not an area I am familiar with so sorry can't provide any more info.

BME = black & minority ethnic group. He doesn't seem to mind having drive for miles to the station, supermarket etc (believe me I have warned him it is a very different lifestyle to London, tried to convince him that Chelmsford / Brentwood / Southend may be better bets because of the schools etc!) but I wouldn't want him to feel unwelcome because of his ethnicity. I don't want to label any village as being racist without evidence, but if it is well known amongst locals I would rather he made a decision with his eyes open. Of course it's down to him, but a bit of local knowledge in advance would be useful.

Better_Days

but I wouldn't want him to feel unwelcome because of his ethnicity. I don't want to label any village as being racist without evidence, but if it is well known amongst locals I would rather he made a decision with his eyes open. Of course it's down to him, but a bit of local knowledge in advance would be useful.

OK, I now understand what you are getting at, and I can understand your concerns. However, I suspect this will be very difficult information to obtain. Then only thing I can think of is that your ex views the crime map for the area he intends to move to and/or asks the advice of BME community groups in the nearest large towns. I have not heard of any racist villages in the area that you mention, although within any community there is always going to be a mix of views.

I have lived in a city (West London) a large town (Northampton), a small town, large and small villages and in the middle of nowhere. If your ex has only lived in the city then I think the biggest adjustment for the family will be to the pace of rural life. The time it takes someone to decide to pull out of a junction in a rural area can drive you potty if you are used to London driving. In smaller communities it can take a while for any new people to be become part of the community. The pace of rural life tends to be slower, and this includes integration. This is nothing to do with race, and I would advise your ex to bear this in mind.

My husband is from a city 'up north', yet norms of behaviour are different. For example when out walking the dog down here in this little corner of Suffolk, he always says hello to everyone he goes past whether he knows them or not. But round here people don't do that. Usually the most you get a polite nod to acknowledge your existence. Some will keep their head down and ignore you totally. This is not rudeness, simply that it is understood that most people are happy just to quietly walk the dog and not engage with others. So it is important that your ex and his family bear this sort of thing in mind, and don't misinterpret unexpected reactions.

Does your ex know anyone who lives in the area he is thinking of moving to? Nearby family and friends can help a good deal and offer support if there are difficulties.

Finally I would like to say that I hope the move goes well, and your ex and his family enjoy their new life. I love living in the country and wouldn't swap it for all the tea in China, but it is not for everyone.