advice re 14 yr old please.

Owain_Moneysaver

thorsoak wrote: »

From personal experience, I would also limit the number of friends who are given "open house" invitations ....I came home from work one time, to find that we were "entertaining" 16 teenagers ....who were systematically eating their way through the contents of my freezers !:eek::eek:

At least it wasn't the drinks cabinet :rotfl:

Owain_Moneysaver

XYZ1000 wrote: »

I make a dinner for him and he just has to heat it through. It's just sometimes he doesn't eat it when I am not there. He says he isn't hungry. (I think its because he wants to lose weight)

Does he need to lose weight? Could there be body image issues?

Or does he not eat dinner because the computer is calling and it's more interesting or he doesn't notice the time passing?

It might be a good idea to see if you can get him to have dinner at a friend's or neighbour's house a few times a week on a rota. You could reciprocate when you're on early shift.

XYZ1000

Owain_Moneysaver wrote: »

Does he need to lose weight? Could there be body image issues?
Or does he not eat dinner because the computer is calling and it's more interesting or he doesn't notice the time passing?
It might be a good idea to see if you can get him to have dinner at a friend's or neighbour's house a few times a week on a rota. You could reciprocate when you're on early shift.

Yes sounds like a good idea.He just says he wasn't hungry .Probably around half a stone nothing too much. Which in my mind if he put some more time into sports he wouldn't need to be concerned.

gibson123

I think you are doing just fine, 14 year olds have lots of resources and loads to occupy them. Don't worry about the eating, in my experience that age often ignore meals in favour of a plate of toast or a quick walk to the chippie, especially if they actually have to do something as strenuous as moving it from the fridge to the microwave. Have a frank chat about the girlfriend and about how you trust him to behave appropriately. When are you getting any quality time with him, I am a lone parent as well, at least once a week i do something with my daughter, just the two of us.

XYZ1000

I brought a merlin pass for us both when they was half price a few months ago so every 3rd weekend when I am off we go and have some fun using using that together. lol @ it being too hard to move the meal from the fridge to the microwave!! Gibson123

NAR

I know you are a single mum and you are working hard to provide for your family. However I think a 14 year old should be getting more daily attention from his mother. He could be getting up to anything from 4 to 10 every day and you wouldn't know. No matter how mature he is/you think he is your son still needs guidance/parental control/maternal advice and at present he is not receiving enough of that at present IMHO. Sorry if that upsets you but I am just trying to give a balanced view of the situation.

A_Phoenix_of_Tangerine

NAR wrote: »

I know you are a single mum and you are working hard to provide for your family. However I think a 14 year old should be getting more daily attention from his mother. He could be getting up to anything from 4 to 10 every day and you wouldn't know. No matter how mature he is/you think he is your son still needs guidance/parental control/maternal advice and at present he is not receiving enough of that at present IMHO. Sorry if that upsets you but I am just trying to give a balanced view of the situation.

I would probably agree if it weren't for the fact that the OP has stated above that this only happens once or twice a week.

Loobysaver

If it is only once or twice a week I don't think there is a problem at all. If it was everyday then yes.

My 14 year old is left every day from 3 - 5.30pm which I know is a lot shorter but she is more than capable of looking after herself.

NAR

A_Phoenix_of_Tangerine wrote: »

I would probably agree if it weren't for the fact that the OP has stated above that this only happens once or twice a week.

Sorry but she didn't say once or twice, she said " a few late ones ... 2 to 10pm ect. "
If she had said once or twice I would not have said what I did.

emsywoo123

XYZ1000 wrote: »

T
Yes he would be left from leaving school until I get home at around 10.30pm at which time he is in bed asleep. This is around one or two times a week.

So if this is once or twice a week, you are home on the other 5/6 days for him?