Buying with OH

DannyboyMidlands

OK so you're not bringing anything to the table. What you spent money on (qualifications, salary, pension) he has no access to. What he is about to spend money on (a house) you want some kind of share.

I just fail to see how this is justified.

Gloomendoom

OP, have you considered marrying your OH? That would give you the security that you desire, at least in the mid to long term.

monkeydo

what exactly am I claiming a share on?
His deposit?? i have already stated that I will be signing with a solicitor that he would keep this as equity and I would not have access
Half of the rest which I will be paying half the mortgage for? I think thats fair
I fail to see what share of his I am going to get??

Brallaqueen

I don't agree with Dannyboy's attitude but i do agree that without your Oh's hard graft this wouldn't even be an option so his deposit is more than just money, it offers you choices and that should be respected.

Can I ask, do you really both pay 50/50 when you earn 33k basic compared to his 18k? Would you be willing to pay more due to the discrepancy in income?

I'm also not clear on how he is able to pay his 'half' on his wage but you feel this would stop you from ever saving (based on your comp wages you win hands down).

EDITED TO ADD - he may not want to be linked with you financially as it will impact on him in ways other than the mortgage rate, even with you paying the differnece it will leave him worse off than before.

Surely your 33k means that you should quickly be able to save a lump sum of your own when the DMP is completed?

zcrat41

Unless he marries you live in the house rent free (as he's be paying for the mortgage on his own anyway) but split the bills fairly.

You save every penny you can and buy your own house to rent out therefore increasing your assets as a couple if you do get married, if you don't you have a safety net created by yourself instead of relying on him.

monkeydo

you make a valid point BrallaQueen. I have been paying off over £700 a month plus our rent so would be able to save and in the long term we'd be better off as he would have less interest. Being sensible it would make sense for him to do it on his own (as long as he can get one on his own).
and if we did break up I wouldn't be any worse off than I am now but I honesetly dont think we will. thanks

Kynthia

I hope it works out for you. It's really difficult when money and emotions are both involved which is why money is a common problem topic between couples.

I think in your position I would start saving heavily so that when it comes time to remortgage in 2-5 years time, depending on the fixed term, you will have a lump sum to contribute. This will mean adding you to the mortgage which will give you security, put you and your partner on a more level pegging, reduce the outstanding mortgage and reduce the LTV ratio which should mean a lower interest rate.

I think a really good talk with your partner is needed about your future together, your finances together and whether he sees you owning jointly in the future. Then hopefully you'll both know what to expect from each other.

blackshirtuk

I really understand both sides!

You are worried about paying half his mortgage with no quarantee of anything. (emotional response - he doesn't care about me/my security)

He doesn't see the point of paying extra for something as a couple when the same thing is cheaper on his own.( practical solution- thats it a solution which saves money,he thinks you should be happy as he has solved a problem/saved money for both of you)

Why not come to an agreement (in front of a solicitor if necessary) whereby he agrees that you would be entitled to 50% of the equity(positve and negative) in the house provided you pay 50% of the mortgage.

If you truly believe you will stay together try to think of your finances as 1 pot. not yours and his.

As 1 pot, him getting the mortgage, on his own, makes sense.

This is a typical male/female communication problem. Both of you should read the book Men are from mars women are from venus. It really helped us understand each other as we really do speak different languages albeit using the same words.

Hope you manage to solve your issue.

BitterAndTwisted

I can't see how you think it's fair to expect him to provide you with some security when you've not been able to contribute anything to your own yet. In your shoes I'd put aside any house-buying plans and wait until you've saved up as much as he has and then buy together putting in equal amounts as deposit. On your very decent salary that shouldn't take too long at all.

nuki

Hi OP.

I believe you have to try before anything to get him in principle to agree to buy together. If he doesn't want to consider it at all, perhaps you should rethink your relationship altogether. I get the sense that he's prepared to go solo, from what you're posting here. (at the same time he wants to benefit from shared bills and a contribution towards his mortgage).

If he agrees in principle, figure out what the difference in interest would be if you were to buy together. I don't think it's that high unless you have a really really bad credit history.

You can buy the property as tenants in common with unequal shares, and get a trust deed that specify who gets what % when the property is sold, after he gets his 40K back The deed also specifies who pays what % for the mortgage, responsibility % for repair costs etc. A solicitor can clarify things for you.

Good luck!


p.s. Can he afford to pay the entire mortgage on his own, if you move out? If I were you I would not agree to live in the same property if he's not considering buying together. I wouldn't necessarily break the relationship, but I would pull back and say - if you're not ready for this then I'm not ready to share any financials with you. But that's just me...