Buying with OH

monkeydo

I spoke to a financially advisor and could geta mortgage now. They have confirmed that I would get a better deal in a few months once the plan is complete.
As i said earlier, I am happy to pay the extra.

DVardysShadow

monkeydo wrote: »

I think to be fair to my OH he has done really well and although I do see a long term future withn him he isn't ready for a committent to me financially which is fair enough.
The only thing is, if he were to buy a house on his own I do not want to have to pay half for everything as I will be paying a lot more than what I am now and will never be able to save myself.

If the commitment issues don't pan out, then it is better to stay separate over the house. I suggest that you let it go ahead in his name only and only pay towards bills, not the mortgage. Use your DMP skills and take the money you would use to pay the extra for a mortgage with you on it to save instead. When it comes to time to remortgage, you can put the money in at that point and do a transfer of equity.

Kynthia

Couples shouldn't lose financial common sense just because they are 'in love'.

If you aren't going to be an owner of the property and potentially benefit from any equity then I agree that you shouldn't pay half the mortgage. I don't think you should live rent free either as that won't show your partner that you are financially responsible. If I were you I would pay half of the bills and living costs, then include a contribution as 'rent'. Obviously this isn't an official letting situation with a contract and tax being paid, but see what renting a room costs in your area and maybe pay around that amount.

Things could change a lot in the next couple of years.

DannyboyMidlands

It seems that he has been sensible while you have spunked all your money on god knows what and his reward for this is you giving him grief about wanting your share of his hard work, your security etc.

What are you bringing to the table? Other than a trashed credit rating? Where does his security come from? If you want to own a share of a house then you need to save some money.

I think that your bf is right to buy independently. Let him buy this house and the next one can be on you.

pmlindyloo

How does your OH see the financial side working out if he buys the house in his name?

Does he expect you to pay half the mortgage?

I would agree with posters that your OH is not being unreasonable about getting the cheaper mortgage deal in his name but I also understand your insecurity.

You really need another talk about how this is going to 'pan out' as regards finances. Explore all the options suggested and then try and work out something that you both are happy with.

monkeydo

For the record for the past 6 years I have been paying off student debts, i never spunked money, these were debts I uncurred as a student and didn't have a decent job to keep up the payments. Yes all my fault I know but I certainly didn't spunk away money.
what would I bring to the table? the possibility of borrowing a decent ammount (I earn 33k and he earns 18k both basic). Also a pension which pays out over £100,00 lump sum plus 18k per annum when we retire.
Im not looking to take his deposit, like I've said I'd be happy to sign to say that whatever happens in the future that would be his and pay the extra monthly difference that the increase in interest charge would incur. I dont think Im being that unreasonable.

Angry_Bear

It's not just about security. When I first moved in with my OH it was into his house. His mortgage, his name on the deeds. He never brought it up and we have always split everything. He has never had any issues over the money from that house going wholesale into our new place, and I'm sure he thought of the old place as "ours". However it was always HIS house to me. I never felt like I could decorate or buy furniture, or like I could make changes or even really feel at home.

Only you know how you feel but for me that made a huge difference and there's no way I could have stayed like that long-term. If he did buy on his own and in a few years you added to the mortgage (when your credit file is clear), would you still feel like you had been added to "his" house?

DannyboyMidlands

So if you split up will he have access to half your wages and pension? Do you think that he should?

monkeydo

no and I wont have access to his deposit either.

emmah89

im currently in the process of buying a house with my husband. the mortgage has been approved in principle, in his name alone. both of us have absolutely no problems with this. he is the one with the permanent job, whereas im temporary and non of my income counts. if your really worried about your security, then don't do it.