Buying with OH

monkeydo

Hi, i just wanted an unbiased opinion on what my OH and I should do about buying a house.
I am coming to the end of a debt managemnet plan and in a few months will have no debt!!! YEY!!!
Whilst I have been paying that off my OH has been saving for a deposit for a house. The plan was to buy together. He has done really well and has saved £40k.
He spoke to his bank about getting a mortgage on his own and was offered a good deal.
Im not too happy about this as I would be left with no security if things went wrong. I know it's his deposit but I would like to get the mortgage together. The only thing is this would mean we wouldn't get as good an interest rate.
I have spoken to a few diifferent people about this and most say that as we are a couple things should be shared etc. and that if we are committed to each other moeny shouldn't come between us. But these people may have a biased opinion being my friends.
I have been in a realtionship in the past where I have lived in my ex's house and it always used to be his house if we had a row.
I know my current partner gets frustrated with my money situation and I know if he started saying this is his house etc I would end up walking.
I want to be fair to him but I want some security too.
We have been together for 6 years and have lived together for 4 years now.
We still split everything down the middle except my fuel bill which is £150 pm to get to work.
Any advice on how to sort this out without it coming between us would be grateful.

[Deleted User]

Simple, get a solicitor to sort it out. When you buy a house, the 40k would be still 'his' in case you came to sell up/split up.. however, the rest of the asset would be split 50/50 (assuming you are splitting the cost of the mortgage). You can have proviso - e.g. if you got married then it would be completely split, including the £40k

monkeydo

Thanks, the problem is I think he wants to get a mortgage on his own as it will work out cheaper and "he doesn't want to gte hit in the pocket financially"(his words) as my credit rating would give us a higher interest rate.

[Deleted User]

Well, first of all, banks don't always get the best rates. Tell him to use a proper 'all of market, fee free' mortgage broker.

if you're buying a home together, you really should be on the mortgage also

Brallaqueen

In the gentlest possible manner, why should your partner get a worse mortgage deal and expose himself to risk when you have only just cleared your debts? Completing a DMP is a great achievement and I applaud it, but it is not as good as never needing one in the first place.

I'd say let your OH buy the house and get the good deal while you work on rebuilding your credit record. Come remortgaging (2-5 years) you will be in a better position and hopefully banks won't see you as a liability as they do now (in financial terms only, not personally).

Alternatively, marriage grants a whole host of benefits

J_i_m

Well done on paying off your debts.

I sympathise that you feel your security may be at risk if "something went wrong" with your relationship, however if the tables were turned wouldn't you fancy a lower interest to pay on your mortgage and to protect your investment if the deposit come soley from your savings? Your other half may feel cheated if they put most in.. Yet ended up without the house after a split.

But it all depends on what you want as a couple. If you want truly a 50/50 stake.. Then maybe put the buying a house on hold until you've saved some money of your own. Then you'd be in a more equal footing in terms of security.

monkeydo

thanks, I would be happy to pay the extra but was a bit miffed last night at his response. I was really excited about being told I could get a mortgage at not a bad rate and felt utterly deflated when he said that comment. I was too peed off to say that I woudl happily pay the difference.
My worry is that this is always going to be an issue for us.

G_M

Buying a property jointly is a greater commitmemt than marriage.

Are the two of you ready for marriage? If so, problem sorted! If not, don't jointly buy!

You credit history will make getting mortgage at best difficult/more expensive, at worst impossible. So you OH may have no option but to buy on his own.

Brallaqueen

monkeydo wrote: »

Hi, i just wanted an unbiased opinion on what my OH and I should do about buying a house.
I am coming to the end of a debt managemnet plan and in a few months will have no debt!!! YEY!!!

WELL DONE


Whilst I have been paying that off my OH has been saving for a deposit for a house. The plan was to buy together. He has done really well and has saved £40k.

Even more well done to him. I get the feeling you have completely different attitutes to money


He spoke to his bank about getting a mortgage on his own and was offered a good deal.
Im not too happy about this as I would be left with no security if things went wrong.

His hard saving has made this even possible. I'd personally be reluctant to risk 40k based on your track record of finances, even if I did love you. Sometimes practicality has to win out.

I know it's his deposit but I would like to get the mortgage together. The only thing is this would mean we wouldn't get as good an interest rate.

Another nail in the coffin of this idea. Not only is it all his deposit, but having you attached gives you both a worse deal than just him alone. No financial sense in that.


I have spoken to a few diifferent people about this and most say that as we are a couple things should be shared etc. and that if we are committed to each other moeny shouldn't come between us. But these people may have a biased opinion being my friends.

I have been in a realtionship in the past where I have lived in my ex's house and it always used to be his house if we had a row.

If it was true, I am unsure of the problem? It might be worth exploring why this possible insult from your current OH upsets you so much.

I know my current partner gets frustrated with my money situation and I know if he started saying this is his house etc I would end up walking.

That's an extreme reaction to a truth. If your OH was holding it over your head and lording it over you I can see how that would hurt but ask yourself this - if you were your OH (financially savvy and a saver) would you risk it?

I want to be fair to him but I want some security too.

is it fair for you to get all of the benefits with none of the work? Would he/you both be willing to hold off on the purchase until you had saved some deposit as well?

We have been together for 6 years and have lived together for 4 years now.
We still split everything down the middle except my fuel bill which is £150 pm to get to work.

More detials would help - earinging etc to see if this is unfair.

Any advice on how to sort this out without it coming between us would be grateful.

I think this is one of those situations where someone is going to come out feeling hard done by.

monkeydo

I think to be fair to my OH he has done really well and although I do see a long term future withn him he isn't ready for a committent to me financially which is fair enough.
The only thing is, if he were to buy a house on his own I do not want to have to pay half for everything as I will be paying a lot more than what I am now and will never be able to save myself.

betmunch

I think you need to check your credit report to see how bad the DMP has affected you.

If you are in a situation that your credit will stop you getting a joint mortgage (which it seems like you are) then I think you just need to suck it up and deal with it.

If you are not happy with him getting the mortgage in his name only, why would he be happy with paying extra on his mortgage for your history?

Or of course you could continue to rent until your credit is good enough for you both to go on the mortgage.

I dont think there is one right answer, and agree with Brallaqueen, someone is going to feel hard done by.