13 year old daughter misbehaving and no support from her father

Wirenth

The bit that concerns me about the OP is the hygiene - it smacks of depression. Have you taken your daughter to the GP?

Slightly off topic, I'm really struck by the number of posters advocating: tell her to put her washing in the basket, or mum won't do your washing.

A thirteen year old should be doing her own washing, cleaning her room and cooking some of the family evening meals. Even mowing the lawn!

If you are part of a family, you should be automatically contributing towards jobs to keep the household running. I was astonished when I got to uni; most of my hallmates couldn't use a washing machine and one dimwit actually boiled an egg in the kettle. Part of parenting is teaching your kids how to survive on their own.

MissMotivation

thanks for all the replies. I haven't taken her to the doctors yet but i think thats the next step if things dont change. I kind of lost it with earlier and told her i was going shopping and i expected her to be up, showered, dressed and school stuff put in machine and the washing up done by the time i got home.... It was all done!

She had 2 helpings of dinner too so i guess the not eating thing was her just testing me.

merlot123

Having two teenage children myself, I would say this is not depression but normal behaviour (I am a little fed up on this board of people suggesting depression just about on every thread!). Tough love is called for, and I think you may have just struck the right balance going by your post above.

faerie~spangles

MissMotivation wrote: »

thanks for all the replies. I haven't taken her to the doctors yet but i think thats the next step if things dont change. I kind of lost it with earlier and told her i was going shopping and i expected her to be up, showered, dressed and school stuff put in machine and the washing up done by the time i got home.... It was all done!

She had 2 helpings of dinner too so i guess the not eating thing was her just testing me.

Update required.

MissMotivation

Things are slightly better, she has been attending school every day with no excuses, her attitude is improving and we have been do.ng things together again like we used to do. The bedroom is still a mess but she did clean and tidy it a few weeks ago!

She is currently revising for her GCSE maths that she takes when she goes back after half term so im not being too hard on her at the moment.

thehappybutterfly

Oh, that's good. Glad to hear things are getting better. Sounds like you're back in control.

I despaired over my son when he was in his early teens - the teeth brushing was just a nightmare! And the problem continues with my daughter (15). My son is now fanatical about his personal hygiene so I'm not overly worried about DD except that she has a brace and her orthodontist keeps telling her she needs to keep on top of her brushing or she'll end up with marks on her teeth. Well, that's her problem. She's old enough now to look after her own teeth.