Am i being unreasonable??

Hollie84

We are getting married in our home town but our venue is about 30-40mins away.we get married at 11.30 so your talking about 45mins for the service which is 12.15,15mins for pics outside (FIL is a photographer so have asked for most of the pics to be done at the venue) so thats 12.30/12.45,over to the venue 1.15/1.30 (travelling down the motorway in a classic car,wont be speeding lol) pics as we get out the car and drinks on arrival and chit chat 1.45/2pm,then more pics which could take until about 3,wedding breakfast at 3.

Now my mum is moaning about waiting til 3 and saying people will be hungry.but thats how i want my day to go,our evening do doesnt start till 7,so once the meal is finished say 5/5.30 it gives people time to check in (most of our day guests are staying over) freshen up,more pictures and relax time in the lobby.i think the timing all sounds great,but mum is disagreeing.she likes to eat every few hrs (sje is like a mouse and nibbles on food) and says my guests will be grumpy and not smiley.if we ate earlier we then have hrs to hang around until the evening do,i would just prefer to have a good few pics done before the meal when im not going to feel bloated :rotfl:

clive12

i dont think you are being unreasonable as long as you advise people what time the food is.

people will be ok if they know to have some breakfast before but wont be so happy if they turn up expecting food at a certain time to find they have to wait for hours.

mandragora_2

I'd be staaaaaarving - and bored - even though I don't usually eat my main meal till about 7.30 at night! I think there's something about being a guest at a wedding and going to the ceremony, knowing lunch is coming, and then just hanging around while the wedding party are having pictures done. I know that's probably not what you want to hear, and I'd also temper that with two points:
1. It's what normally happens at weddings, so though I'd be famished and bored, I wouldn't be surprised, or really, expect it to be any different. (I'd be pathetically grateful if you warned me though, by giving me a rough outline of the running order so I know what's coming!)
2. It's how you want to do it, and it's your wedding. No-one will actually die of hunger. Or boredom. And the rest of the day will go so nicely, they'll soon forget it. I always do, until I get to the next wedding, and am always ridiculously surprised by the hanging around phase after the ceremony.

Finally, I have to say, I think your timings may be a bit optimistic. There's no way the first set of piccies will take 15 mins. You'll be lucky to be sitting down to your tea before 4pm, I reckon. I'd be happy with a sandwich in my handbag, and a quick sneak off to a local pub while all the 'doings' was going on!

Hollie84

Thank you for the replies,there is only 40 of us,all very close friends and family so it will be easy to let people know what time were eating.realistically it is only 1 hr.
Becuase FIL is doing the photographs i will be having a bit more of a personal touch to the pictures with the 38 guests so they wont be doing much hanging around,i hope.

katie1812

I think people tend to think about the food in the morning. So in theory should have quite a big breakfast, something to keep them going. They would estimate roughly when they would be eating anyway and if they knew they were going to be that hungry then they'll have to nibble on something in the car on the way to your reception!
Definitely not being unreasonable though, as above, it is YOUR wedding! People will be so engrossed in the day that they won't be thinking about their stomachs!

mildred1978

Hollie84 wrote: »

Thank you for the replies,there is only 40 of us,all very close friends and family so it will be easy to let people know what time were eating.realistically it is only 1 hr.
Becuase FIL is doing the photographs i will be having a bit more of a personal touch to the pictures with the 38 guests so they wont be doing much hanging around,i hope.

Unless he's going to take a lot less photos than a 'normal' wedding photographer, I can't see how you'll save any time. They take hundreds of pictures for a reason. Him being your father in law won't make it any quicker.

wanchai_2

Not unreasonable at all. Tell your mum to bring a snack!

sugarwalsh

I would say a more realistic schedule for your day would be wedding 11.30, finish at 12.30 (everything takes longer than you think!) Outside for pics around 1pm (People will want to congratulate you etc, you can't just run outside once ceremony is finsihed) until 1.30. Arrive at venue for 2.30, sit down to eat at 3.30. Allow 3 hours for food, inclusive of speeches etc.

I KNOW this sounds like a long, long time for everything, but this allows for any mishaps, for you not to be rushed etc on the day. Why not offer drinks and nibbles for your guests after the ceremony? That is what we did, then a further drinks reception at the hotel. The nibbles were bits of french bread with a bit hollowed out, a bit of dip in the hollow with some crudites stuck in. We also put some crisps out for the kids. They took no time for my sons to make in the morning and didn;t cost much - I ordered the stuff from Tesco so they were all ready to go!

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all, just look again at your timing. I am not being over the top with the timing - I worked ours out and we over ran by 10 minutes by the end of the day - something I was quite pleased about!

Hollie84

mildred1978 wrote: »

Unless he's going to take a lot less photos than a 'normal' wedding photographer, I can't see how you'll save any time. They take hundreds of pictures for a reason. Him being your father in law won't make it any quicker.

I dont expect him to be quicker,what i was saying is the other guests wont get bored hanging around as someone said they may,they will be involved in alot of the pics so wont have time to worry about hunger pains or being bored.

Hollie84

mandragora wrote: »

I'd be staaaaaarving - and bored - even though I don't usually eat my main meal till about 7.30 at night! I think there's something about being a guest at a wedding and going to the ceremony, knowing lunch is coming, and then just hanging around while the wedding party are having pictures done. I know that's probably not what you want to hear, and I'd also temper that with two points:
1. It's what normally happens at weddings, so though I'd be famished and bored, I wouldn't be surprised, or really, expect it to be any different. (I'd be pathetically grateful if you warned me though, by giving me a rough outline of the running order so I know what's coming!)
2. It's how you want to do it, and it's your wedding. No-one will actually die of hunger. Or boredom. And the rest of the day will go so nicely, they'll soon forget it. I always do, until I get to the next wedding, and am always ridiculously surprised by the hanging around phase after the ceremony.

Finally, I have to say, I think your timings may be a bit optimistic. There's no way the first set of piccies will take 15 mins. You'll be lucky to be sitting down to your tea before 4pm, I reckon. I'd be happy with a sandwich in my handbag, and a quick sneak off to a local pub while all the 'doings' was going on!

We only want a few pictures outside the church so i cant see us being there long,just a few of me and OH as we have said we want 99.9% of the pictures at the venue

Brightside

I always make sure I eat as late as possible before the wedding after being at a wedding where they took 3 hours to do the photos :eek: and we finally got something to eat at 4:30 after an 11am wedding.

and always make sure I have a sandwich in the car in case of emergencies.