How do you know when a marriage is over?

*SuzySue*

My husband of 7 years speaks and acts as though he hates me.

globalds

I think a relationship can unfortunately become hollow.

Just it is easier to be in than out.

I would say at that point it is over.

If your other half behaves like he doesn't car ...then maybe he doesn't ..It is over when you stop putting up with being with someone who does not care for you any more.

*SuzySue*

Why is it so hard to leave?

Taadaa

*SuzySue* wrote: »

My husband of 7 years speaks and acts as though he hates me.

How long has this been going in for? Is it constant? Have you spoken to him about it? I dont think a marriage is over until you both throw in the towel. I don't think you have yet. And if you don't know why he is behaving this wat, he migjt not have either - sone people dont realise the effect they have wirh their words and actions.

*SuzySue*

Taadaa wrote: »

How long has this been going in for? Is it constant? Have you spoken to him about it? I dont think a marriage is over until you both throw in the towel. I don't think you have yet. And if you don't know why he is behaving this wat, he migjt not have either - sone people dont realise the effect they have wirh their words and actions.

Quite a long time. We have a small child together and he really resents me giving up work ( temporarily and with enough miney to support me for many years) to look after her. He's said some really hurtful things tonight.

I accidentally fell down the stairs this week. He showed no concern for my well being and the lecture lasted 4 days (and counting).

BitterAndTwisted

If he speaks and acts as though he hates you sooner or later you are going to hate him. Why do you think he feels he's entitled to behave so hatefully towards you? If you feel like you can't sit down and quietly ask him to explain without wanting to put an axe through his skull, it's over.

About your child: surely having her was a mutual decision and how you were all going to be supported was a mutual decision as well, so has anything changed since those decisions were made?

jamespir

dont let him speak to you that way find out whats wrong

globalds

*SuzySue* wrote: »

Why is it so hard to leave?

what are you going to do ?
How are you going to manage ?
who will pay the bills ?
So many reasons to keep battling on .. And just you to advise yourself ..It is hard to leave because the alternative is massive.

Taadaa

How strange that he is lecturing you about such a thing. Was it a joint decision for you to give up work? If you are supporting yourself financially perhaps he feels resentful or jealous that you are able to if he cannot. Not that it's an excuse. It would be beneficial to find out his motives, if you are able to. You aren't a door mat though.

Mrs.W_2

May I ask, was there an event or period to which you might pin your OH's horrible change in attitude towards you? Do friends or other members of your family notice the change?

I'm also wondering if he might envy the love and attention you give to your child. Some first time fathers are jealous and afraid of their offspring at the same time. Mine was.

Mr W was jealous of the time and devotion our first child received, and afraid that if he had to care for her, he'd break her.

Though I don't think you need answers along the lines of 'why'.
People rarely post on an open forum without a good sense of what they are talking about and where they are going.

Wishing you strength in your decision.

MunniMuncha

'How do you know when a marriage is over?'

When one party is fed up of being constantly treated as if they are a nobody, is shown no/little respect and has had a enough.:(