Question

meritaten

Lexxx wrote: »

I am not sure what to think, It happens alot.
I get woken up most morning with parents screaming/swearing at kids, several times during day.

They are a very young couple, 3 kids under 5, I dont think she is coping very well, but i am not sure if that is the correct term, I dont know if she knows any better??? not even sure if that is the right way to put it either.

from what you say here Lexxx - it IS a form of abuse. its mostly her? even you say she doesnt appear to be coping well - do her a favour and ring up Social Services. Their aim is to HELP families - but dont be surprised if nothing comes of it. sadly, if they go into the home and its clean, tidy and the children appear clean unmarked and fed - its assumed that everything is ok. its a rare social worker that will look under the surface (that isnt a critisism - they are so swamped that I doubt they have time to invest in what are not 'critical' cases).
just keep your eye on them and if you suspect physical abuse then get on to SS again.

Lexxx

thegirlintheattic wrote: »

Whilst I generally say stay out, maybe a quick chat and if your a mum, signposting * discretely* things like surestart may help. 3 kids under 5 is a lot for anyone and it's quite possible that she doesn't have any other coping strategies other than shouting.

I would rather have a word with her if i could, Not sure what to say to her or how to approach it, my daughter is grown up and has left home, this couple are actually younger than my daughter.

meritaten wrote: »

from what you say here Lexxx - it IS a form of abuse. its mostly her? even you say she doesnt appear to be coping well - do her a favour and ring up Social Services. Their aim is to HELP families - but dont be surprised if nothing comes of it. sadly, if they go into the home and its clean, tidy and the children appear clean unmarked and fed - its assumed that everything is ok. its a rare social worker that will look under the surface (that isnt a critisism - they are so swamped that I doubt they have time to invest in what are not 'critical' cases).
just keep your eye on them and if you suspect physical abuse then get on to SS again.

she is very house proud and has a very neat clean home, furnishing are not really suitable for young kids, one of the many things the kids get scream at for.

this is the first time she has lived 'by herself' with kids
Dad is there some of times, but he seems to take over screaming when there and she stays quiet

Racheldevon

As Mertaten points out, increasing thresholds may mean no further action gets taken re: social services. However, each area will have different procedures around cases that don't meet the threshold, some areas have early response teams, level 2 social workers etc, or refer automatically in children's centres for 1:1 family support/parenting courses/groups for young parents. A referral to something like home start might help if it operates in your area

Lexxx

I am not sure whether i am over reacting, the last 3/4months i have been at home, |I have mentioned it to a couple of friends and they have just dismissed it as nothing abnormal, but they have not heard it.

A few weeks back one of neighbours was out in garden having a barbque and the mum was going off and screaming and swearing, with her windows open, the neighbours though it was funny and were laughing.

so i really do wonder if i am over reacting, being a busybody, because i am home all day...?

I would rather try and have a word with her first,
I am not sure what to say and how to word it, i am a very blunt person and what i want to say to her would probably come across....blunt.

tinktinktinkerbell

no

but i would consider it not a very nice thing to do

babymoo

Yes. I once witnessed a mother screaming at her child, calling her a ****ing !!!!!, her child was 7 at the time. I went mental at her and called social services, the child now lives with her dad full time and has thanked me for helping her.

thehappybutterfly

BugglyB wrote: »

Always hearing parents round here yelling 'GER EEYORE NAAAAHHHHHHH' and swearing etc. QUOTE]

BugglyB - what does that actually mean? I'm saying it out loud but can't figure out what I'm saying!

beth.stephenson2009

neneromanova wrote: »

Shouting : no, Everyone shouts at their child at some point. Shouting constantly : Yes.

Screaming and swearing : Very much child abuse! No one should be screamed or swore at!

Exactly this.

bigmomma051204

thehappybutterfly wrote: »

BugglyB wrote: »

Always hearing parents round here yelling 'GER EEYORE NAAAAHHHHHHH' and swearing etc. QUOTE]

BugglyB - what does that actually mean? I'm saying it out loud but can't figure out what I'm saying!

Get Here Now..... in Bianca from Eastenders styleeeee lol i reckon?!

milliebear00001

According to the Child Protection training I have had, this would count as emotional abuse.

I see it happening commonly enough though, and know many parents would be very defensive if they knew such behaviour would be deemed abuse by the 'authorities' - but it would.