Question

mummyoftwomonkeys

Well if their doing it all the time then sounds like they need anger management or something

bigmomma051204

It is certainly inappropriate parenting, but to class it as "abuse" is quite strong without all the facts. Quite simply, i would imagine that the parent probably didnt experience when they were young how a parent is supposed to behave and therefore has not "learnt" these skills..... you don't go into much detail so it is unfair for us all to sit here and judge to be honest... there is no excuse for poor parenting BUT there are often reasons which can be addressed :cool:

This parent may well benefit from doing some type of parenting course which will display to them the parenting skills that they are currently lacking. Triple P is an excellent course for parents - children's centres usually run them, some schools do also.

Edit - just seen ur later post.... not much you can do really if it is new neighbours. Maybe mention in passing one day about how the walls of your house are paper thin and you worry sometimes that they might hear your music etc too loud.....? Give them a hint.....

Lexxx

meritaten wrote: »

tbh - if it was a rare occurence then no, its not child abuse - its a parent at the end of thier tether. if its regular and frequent then YES, it is being abusive.

I am not sure what to think, It happens alot.
I get woken up most morning with parents screaming/swearing at kids, several times during day.

They are a very young couple, 3 kids under 5, I dont think she is coping very well, but i am not sure if that is the correct term, I dont know if she knows any better??? not even sure if that is the right way to put it either.

ab.da54

Would you consider screaming, shouting and swearing at children under the age of five child abuse?

Yes. Yes I would.

Racheldevon

I work within the field you're referring to. It concerns me that it appears to be happening regularly, and your own response when you hear it suggests that it is likely to be intimidating to the children - it's not acceptable behaviour. Abuse isn't limited to physical/sexual/neglect categories. Emotional abuse is just as damaging, and I would urge you to report the instances each time you're aware of them. There are a couple of ways of doing this - directly through your local children's services - google for your area, and tell them what you've heard, equally, you could contact the police when you hear the disturbances, which will trigger a 121a, but I would initially phone your local children's services tomorrow morning - you can annoymously report your concernf if you feel the need to do it that way. Any difficulties will be considered against an assessment framework, and hopefully any support the family require can be actioned

BugglyB

Always hearing parents round here yelling 'GER EEYORE NAAAAHHHHHHH' and swearing etc. It makes me wish I was four times the size of them so I can make them feel like that.

I dont think its child abuse as such but it is abusive behaviour.

Lexxx

VERY 'inappropriate parenting' those are the words i was looking for, thanks bigmomma051204

i know how it can get as a parent, i have a daughter, i have on many occassions lost my cool with her:D it definatley happened alot when she was a teenager, but i never swore and did not get personal, I know from personal experience what it can do to a child.

The screaming and shouting i hear you would assume it was teenagers, it breaks my heart to hear it.

Racheldevon

It would be deemed abusive and inappropriate behaviour by your local children's services. You're aware of something inappropriate happening, by not acting you end up colluding with it -i'd really urge you to call them, and enable some support to be put in place. You note they may not know any better, and that may well be true, but there's plenty of guidance and services they can be linked into and that doesn't necessarily involve social services, but they are the ones to judge where it best sits and how their needs can be supported.

thegirlintheattic

Lexxx wrote: »

I am not sure what to think, It happens alot.
I get woken up most morning with parents screaming/swearing at kids, several times during day.

They are a very young couple, 3 kids under 5, I dont think she is coping very well, but i am not sure if that is the correct term, I dont know if she knows any better??? not even sure if that is the right way to put it either.

Whilst I generally say stay out, maybe a quick chat and if your a mum, signposting * discretely* things like surestart may help. 3 kids under 5 is a lot for anyone and it's quite possible that she doesn't have any other coping strategies other than shouting.

bigmomma051204

Lexxx wrote: »

VERY 'inappropriate parenting' those are the words i was looking for, thanks bigmomma051204

i know how it can get as a parent, i have a daughter, i have on many occassions lost my cool with her:D it definatley happened alot when she was a teenager, but i never swore and did not get personal, I know from personal experience what it can do to a child.

The screaming and shouting i hear you would assume it was teenagers, it breaks my heart to hear it.

I guess u can only make a decision based on what u see/hear/know.... none of us can really comment BUT if you are concerned then as someone else said, u are within your rights to contact social services and just raise those concerns with them. If the area you are in are anywhere NEAR as busy as my area with safeguarding issues/child protection cases, then i doubt they will even get a visit BUT you never know!! At the end of the day, you will at least know you have dealt with your concerns to best of your ability and if the family DO have issues then maybe even a letter etc from ss would encourage them to change their behaviour. Doubt it though as like i said before, its probably learnt behaviour from their parents and they dont know any different - just because they know that they should "tone it down" in front of others, doesnt mean they know how or why it is wrong, just that their parents used to shout less etc in front of other people.

I feel for you, its not nice seeing or hearing little ones having a hard time BUT you can only do so much. xx