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Free Food

edited 25 April 2016 at 11:57AM in Shop but don't drop
75 replies 35.3K views


  • Adam_4-2Adam_4-2 Forumite
    34 posts
    I took it with sincerity that was intended. infact I added a few extra ideas to increase the chnces of getting to that food first. perhaps you could send me a message of this secret magical place? that way those thingy thingied thingers won't get their thingied thingies on it.
  • PalPal Forumite
    2.1K posts
    This is a great post - good stuff Tim.

    Tim, I congratulated you on an excellent money saving post! Take those insults back!
  • COSCOS Forumite
    548 posts
    Other to Tims suggestion you can always go to the local Market at closing time,its surprising how much Fruit and Veg they throw out, I can tell you when walking past a few tomatoes have come my way. ;D

    Rememember. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
    Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
    If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know
    when, You might need them to empty your bedpan.
  • hellomotohellomoto Forumite
    281 posts
    I confess to being surprised at the hilarity with which my carefully crafted and *entirely serious* instructions for the provision of limitless quantities of free food has been greeted.  

    I think it was a great money saving tip, but it made me laugh, I love the thought of you and your team waiting for the trolley to go past, laughter is an amazing gift you can give, so enjoy the fact we enjoyed your post, if I worked in such a place, I would surely be one of your disciples

    ;D ;D ;D
    Thanks!! :D:D:D
  • Adam_4-2Adam_4-2 Forumite
    34 posts
    still waiting for that message tim.
  • Tim_LTim_L Forumite
    3.8K posts
    Well, Adam, obviously business travel is THE best way of getting free food, accomodation, and amassing free money from Capital One Circle cards on paying for it all (then obviously the expenses repayment goes to INGDirect)

    Two very important rules if you want to go in for this:

    1) Explain loudly to everyone you can find that you really really don't want to travel on business because frankly you're too busy, and that actually business travel isn't all that much fun because, well obviously you have to work most of the time and then you're stuck in a hotel some of the rest of the time with only a mini-bar and dubious thingy channels for company (or else get dragged out to dodgy lap dancing clubs against your wishes by greasy local reps) and obviously too much rich and expensive food plays havoc with your internals, especially when washed down with large quantities of whatever alcoholic beverages (usually best marked down on expense forms as "miscellaneous refreshments, no receipt") the locals force down you.

    2) When actually travelling, affect an air of total resignation and boredom (Prevert put this very well in Zazi dans le Metro: "les hommes d'affaires avec leur air de savoir voyager mieux que tout le monde")

    Taken together, these two tips will mark you out with your bosses as someone who can be trusted not to blow the gaffe that business travel is *totally* brilliant, and can therefore join the club.

    I mean, really, who wouldn't want to fly out for a few days of pampered luxury, with just a couple of three hour meetings interrupting the flow of free food, drink, and nights out where you don't have to worry about where you put the children or whether you'll be in trouble with Mrs Linnell when you return stinking of Grappo at three in the morning. No - you have a room all to yourself, where you can gently support your delicately distended stomach (any else had a 23 oz steak?) on a pillow whilst swivelling slowly in your super-king-size double bed. And any residual fatigue the next day can be blamed on jet lag! It's quite wonderful.

    Expenses do take a little bit of getting the hang of though. Someone I work with got a little perturbed by the idea on his first trip, and is unfortunately wildly ribbed even to this day because of his expense claim amounting to the considerable sum of £1.79 p on a three day trip (having, we suspect, taken his own sandwiches before running out on day three and having to go to an Esso station for a BLT). Now this is an extreme, but many people are concerned about whether the managers will sign off their elevated bills, and how much they should allow daily for 'sustenance'. No need to worry - the managers have their own similar concerns, so their main aim is to establish a certain elevated level of claim as the norm, so that their own claims don't appear wildly extravagant (in situations of doubt though, check company rules: there's usually one saying that the most senior member of the marketing department picks up the tab for group meals, and if not one can easily be created for reference on the company Intranet by anyone with a rudimentary knowledge of HTML and the server root password).

    One final tip - always pack a needle and cotton and Grannies box of buttons. There is no situation more tricky to deal with when you are travelling light (i.e. with only a couple of pairs of trousers) than when the fly button finally gives up the unequal struggle against 4 days worth of restaurants morning noon and night and flies off into the middle distance.

    (And, of course, always pinch the hotel shampoo).
  • robannrobann Forumite
    15 posts
    What kind of engineer are you? On my overseas business trips I always ended up working 14 hour days as the customer tried to get some value from the £800 a day that my empoyer was screwing them for!

    I always used to seal the hotel toiletries until I realised that I had 40 or so mini shampoos that I didn't like. And why did I steal shower caps? Huh? What use did I really think I'd get from them when I have half an inch of hair?

    Answers on a postcard...
  • GalstonianGalstonian Forumite
    1.3K posts
    I stopped taking the toiletries when I realised the towels were worth more. I could never fit the TV in my hand luggage for the flight home though.

    "what sort of engineer are you" - typical?
  • johnllewjohnllew Forumite
    1.9K posts
    Well, Adam, obviously business travel is THE best way of getting free food, accomodation, and amassing free money from Capital One Circle cards on paying for it all (then obviously the expenses repayment goes to INGDirect)
    Don't mean to spoil the fun but you do declare the cashback on business expenses on your tax return, don't you? It is surely a "profit from employment".
  • fluff_2fluff_2 Forumite
    20 posts
    laugh,my sides were sore for hours afterwards.need more like this to brighten up a dull day. ;D
    if i had known then what i know now
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