MSE Blog: How funeral directors can make a killing - MSE Archna's tips to protect

gaynormurray

My dear dad died last year (on fathers day bless him) and it was a peaceful death, he died at home in his own bed with my mum beside him. My hubby works for a funeral home, so I was lucky to have that help. We requested he wasnt embalmed as none of us were planning on viewing, we asked for family flowers only as they are only eaten by the squirrels or thrown away in a couple of days and so are a waste of money (my personal opinion only) so requested donations for a charity close to dads heart. I chose one of the cheapest coffins, it was only being burnt, after all, and looked the same as all the expensive ones. We did have one limo, but only because mum is disabled and can not get in a normal car. To be fair, not all the costs of a funeral are down to greed, when you think about it, there were two men who came to take dad away (2 wages, petrol and wear and tear on vehicle) the wages of the funeral arranger, the person that prepared dad, shave and dress etc, the doctors fees, vicars fees, 4 bearers wages, the conductors wages, crem fees,it all adds up, so they do not make a big a killing as you think when you add it all up? I agree it does seem a lot of money, especially when you are grieving, but I think it is a difficult job to do well. It is so easy to go overboard on flowers, solid wood coffin, fleet of limos etc etc.

Tabby

I went to a lecture on burial practices last year and the interesting thing I learnt was there is no requirement, legal or otherwise, to have a coffin - the deceased can be wrapped in a sheet. Which makes perfect money sense if you are having a cremation to burn even a basic coffin you have just paid for!

chorlton

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chorlton

There's a funeral director in Newcastle who uses a flat pack coffin - the deceased goes in a cardboard coffin which is then put in the flat pack one which looks just like an expensive wooden coffin. Once the curtains close at the crematorium the flat pack is removed and packed up discretely and only the cardboard coffin is burned.
Saves money, environmentally friendly and no-one needs to know if you don't want them to.

homeworkgirl

My Mum died recently in hospital and as we had previously used the co-op for funerals we approached them again. We were told the next available date for cremation was 3 wks away making it a total of 4wks since Mum had died. We were very upset that we had to wait so long but then I was told by someone in the business that if we went to another funeral directors they could arrange it within a week. Luckily Mum was still at the hospital so we switched to a small independent company with a much more personal touch and Mum's lovely service was a week later. It wasn't the Crematorium that was really busy as we had been led to believe, but the previous funeral directors!

Jacq42

I am in the process of organising a DIY funeral for my father-in-law who died on Easter Sunday. At first i hit a brick wall with everone saying they will only deal with profesional undertakers but after hours searching on the internet i have finally ordered a coffin which is being delivered in the morning and provisionally booked a lovely white hearse to collect dad from the mortuary and bring him home on the morning of the cremation. The lady at our local crematorium said that in the 25 years she has worked there we are only the 2nd family to go down this route, but our views are we arrange our own weddings and christenings, why should this be any different, you never get the chance to do this over if it doesn't go as you feel it should have done. I have planned the service and the family will be conducting it ourselves (when my grandfather died we had a celebrant who took the service and we will be following his order of service as although it wasn't religious it talked of the celebration of his life) my teenage daughters have requested that they would like to read out poems for him and i will read the committal. We have had mixed responses from people when we have told them, my own parents offered to help pay for the funeral so that we could do it "properly" through a funeral company and are now busy planning their own arrangements in case i got a say in the matter! but close family and friends who knew dad are certain that this is what he deserved. On a purely financial note the cremation fees have cost us £561, the medical certificate is £152 and the death certificates are £3.50 each. These fees would be the same wether you were using a firm or doing it yourself, but the coffin has cost us only £195 as opposed to hundreds for even basic models and the white hearse is £350 as opposed to £950 from the cheapest funeral director who quoted £2,500 for their cheapest package, this only include a hearse and 1 driver (no pallbearers they are an extra £25 each and you need 4) no service, no announcements and a basic coffin at £350. Only time will tell wether we have made any mistakes (we are hoping the funeral will be on 23rd April but i am absoulutely certain that dad would be proud of us.

NeedWillpower

Hope everthing goes well Jacq42. I think it will be a moving occassion.

Have made clear to my daughter that when I die (not for many years I hope) I will not be worrying about the funeral or what happens to my remains, she is to dispose of my body as cheaply as possible (I leave the manner of disposal completely up to her).

When my husband died we had a funeral director, but organised the service at the Crematorium ourselves as he was an athiest and was strongly against any religious service being said over him. We put his ashes into the sea at Scarborough, as those were his wishes, when we discussed the matter some years previously. I have said that if I am cremated, she can either scatter my ashes in some of the areas of North Yorkshire where our ancestors came from, scatter them on various local walks I have enjoyed, scatter them in the garden or keep them in the house it is entirely up to her.

Being a keen family historian and a one time local studies librarian I have read many funeral reports in newspapers from the 1880s onwards (not all my family), although I found them fascinating I couldn't help feeling sad at the large amount of money spent which probably in many cases could have been better spent on the living (a lot of the families weren't rich). I think I must have inherited this attitude from Quaker forebears.