MSE Blog: How funeral directors can make a killing - MSE Archna's tips to protect

busiscoming2

We were asked if we wanted mum embalmed or not and decided there was no need as us close family were there at the time of death anyway and had no reason to view her.

puppypants

I have just today paid the bill to the funeral directors who dealt with my Mother's funeral, on behalf of my father. The total cost was £3636.09p. We used a firm who were well known to us as they used to live next door and my father used to help out as a bearer etc occasionally.

This probably sounds a lot to some people, but it was a beautiful day and we were cared for wonderfully. Everything was perfect, down to the readings, the flowers (one family display only, but beautiful), the tea afterwards, the cars etc.
My Dad (93) was proud that he had given his darling wife of nearly 67 years the best funeral he could. The church was packed, the singing was great and the one voice soaring above everyone elses was my Fathers.

Nile

I'm sorry for your loss Archna.

I can't talk about the costs involved.......but I do have a little experience of funerals.

When my mother-in-law died, her husband (my father-in-law) answered all the questions that the funeral manager asked..........about her wishes.

It's a really difficult conversation to have.......but at a later date we asked the same questions and wrote down the answers my father-in-law gave us. We never mentioned them again but when the time came, we were able to follow his wishes to the letter.

It's not until you're involved in organising a funeral that you realise that you'll be asked questions such as:

Do you want an open or closed coffin?
Do you want the deceased to be dressed in their own clothes?

To know the answers and follow the wishes of the deceased is a comfort.

My father-in-law died in hospital and the hospital clerk was really kind. She phoned the Register Office for me, to book an appointment for me to register the death.

On the day of the funeral the neighbours at my father-in-law's (empty) house made sure that the whole road was cleared of parked vehicles, to ensure that the hearse and cars were able to pull up right outside his house. It was his wishes that he left his house one last time on his way to the funeral.

The kindness people show at such times is a big help and comfort.:A

pigpen

then the monumental masons have a policy of 'get the bill in quick while the family are still distraught then they won't quibble the price' ...

They are out to rip people off as well..

terrible business

So sad to hear of your loss Archna xx

sspaceflyer

It would be so useful to have something on this website about DIY funerals, and less expensive ones.

landsker

It's a rip-off, of course!
Frankly, we do not have enough money to pay for even one funeral, so are considering the ultimate money saving option of leaving our bodies for medical research.
Many teaching hospitals will accept your discarded shells and cart them away for no cost, or a very minimal "transport in a van" cost.
After all - why not?
When you die the bits left over are only waste!

sarahemmm

landsker wrote: »

It's a rip-off, of course!
Many teaching hospitals will accept your discarded shells and cart them away for no cost, or a very minimal "transport in a van" cost.
After all - why not?
When you die the bits left over are only waste!

I entirely agree, but be aware - you must make the arrangements before death. This is the info at the Human Tissue Authority:

Under the Human Tissue Act 2004, written and witnessed consent for anatomical examination must be given prior to death; consent cannot be given by anyone else after your death. A consent form can be obtained from your nearest medical school and a copy should be kept with your Will. You should also inform your family, close friends and GP that you wish to donate your body.

They also have a list of medical schools.

Also see www.ifishoulddie.co.uk for a range of useful information.

grahamm

My mother has wisely decided to plan ahead by getting a pre-paid funeral plan, although she also sensibly asked me about it first.

I did some searching around and found that she could get effectively the same plan through Age UK (formerly Age Concern) for £900 less than the first price she'd seen.

More importantly, it's a flat rate deal, so it doesn't (financially) matter if she dies tomorrow or in 20 years time, she'll get the same funeral no matter how prices might increase in the future.

There was the option of paying the full cost up front or by installments over five years, but, of course, the installments would accrue interest, so, instead, I paid for it up front (on a cash-back card!) and she pays me the installment cost over 60 months without interest (with a codicil in her will that if she dies before I'm fully paid off, I get the rest from her estate).

A bit of planning ahead is sensible for Money Savers

CJField

Apologies if I am repeating what other people have already said. I used to work for a major funeral firm and my mum has now worked for the same company for over 20 years. My advice to anyone would be do whatever is right and comfortable for YOU. Don't avoid the major players simply because that's what they are, but also be mindful that lots of independents have now been taken over by chains, and whilst they do still trade under the old independent/family name you can tell if they belong to a chain by looking at the signage, or stationery, it will be evident somewhere.

Just like every other industry there are good and bad, but also that varies within a company as well, one branch may be a bit shoddy whilst one may be fantastic.
Always speak to other people and make sure as a family you discuss options long before anyone needs to make a decision. If you are worried that you may be pushed into spending too much money or making the wrong decisions, try discussing your ideas and/or budget with a friend/family member who will be less emotionally charged and take them to the funeral directors with you, then they can remind you, or step in if things are taking the wrong direction, not everyone can remain headstrong and money savvy when emotional or upset, so bring someone that can do it for you. A good funeral arranger/director will help YOU to arrange the funeral YOU want. Please remember that they can be a wealth of experience and knowledge and not all of them are just there for the ££'s

CJField

Embalming is a personal choice, can be a good idea if there is a long wait for the funeral i.e. over a week. Also a good idea if death occurs in the warmer months and lots of people wish to pay respects.