MSE Blog: How funeral directors can make a killing - MSE Archna's tips to protect

Former_MSE_Archna

MSE Blog: How funeral directors can make a killing - MSE Archna's tips to protect

Hi all, this is a thread to discuss the MSE blog:

MSE Blog: How funeral directors can make a killing - MSE Archna's tips to protect

"Funerals are a lucrative business and it’s easy to be drawn into spending lots of cash. My Dad recently passed away, so I’ve learnt first-hand about the difficult decisions you have to make at a distressing time"

terrierlady

very well written well done you, we also negotiated with the funeral directors and saved cash if more people become aware then im sure costs will come down, many thanks for educating us all

aliasojo

Sorry for your loss Archna.

I wish more people would be more 'matter of fact' about funerals. It comes to us all, we all know it carries heavy costs and if more people were able to separate the business part from the emotional part, I have no doubt that the end result of that would eventually mean that costs would eventually start coming down.

busiscoming2

You say to get three quotes, which is fair enough, but when my mum died at home, we just called the undertaker we knew most about to come and remove her body. Surely you can't then say sorry we need our 'body' moved to a different undertakers without incurring extra cost?

Former_MSE_Archna

busiscoming2 wrote: »

You say to get three quotes, which is fair enough, but when my mum died at home, we just called the undertaker we knew most about to come and remove her body. Surely you can't then say sorry we need our 'body' moved to a different undertakers without incurring extra cost?

Yes, that's a very good point. My Dad died in hospital so they took care of the immediate needs. I imagine we would have done exactly the same in your situation, it must have been hard for you.

Hopefully the other points I mentioned would have been useful though.

farmville

Thank you for this article and sorry for the loss of your Father

Can anyone tell me what I can do if I object with the bill that I have received? What rights do I have if any? Is there someone I can complain too?

System

Sorry for your loss MSE Archna.

I lost both my Father and my StepFather many years ago and had to arrange the funerals for both of them as my Mother was in no fit state.

I remember both times a large chunk of the fees was due to embalming which i thought was mandatory. I certainly wasnt asked if i wanted my loved ones embalmed though i have since been told that not all funeral directors embalm the deceased.

About 16 years ago my eldest daughter did her NVQ in caring for the elderly and part of the NVQ was having to deal with death.

Being under 18 i was asked to go with her to watch bodies being embalmed. Its amazing what you learn when your not directly involved with someone who has died.

One of the reasons a body is embalmed is to preserve it from decay. Another reason is that the body is more 'acceptable' to the family members who come to view their loved one for the last time.

Each time i went bodies were being embalmed even though the mortician admitted to me they were being embalmed though they were being cremated within 24 hours. The one body wasnt expected to have any more 'viewings' before cremation. In that case i couldnt understand why the body was embalmed except to justify the £500 extra fee (and that was 20 years ago).

In my own case, i was with both my Father and my StepFather when they died, and neither me, my Mother or the rest of my family went to 'visit' them again in the chappel of rest. We wanted to remember them how they were when they died.

I was never asked if i wanted this service and it was just assumed that i would but one thing is for sure. When my own Mother goes to be with her husbands she wont be embalmed. Not because of the cost necessarily but i dont beleive in my case it will be necessary. I am presuming my Brother (not having anything to do with funerals before) will allow me to make this decision.

I am not saying dont embalm your loved one but check to see if in your case its really necessary.

aliasojo

I wonder if the embalming is more 'the done thing' depending on region or area?

We were never even offered embalming when any of our family died. I was surprised to learn a few years ago that many families had their loved ones embalmed. I had thought (up till then) that embalming was reserved for important people, the kind of funeral where the deceased is viewed by many. I had no idea it was something many families did.

I don't see the point myself.

mrdignity

What a useful article. Thanks Archna - especially after you've written it following the loss of your father.

Dying & funerals are a taboo subject for many - as they are in the pet cremation industry which I work in. The problem is that if things aren't talked about then it gives people an opportunity to profiteer and take advantage of grieving relatives / owners.

Picking up on an earlier post, many funeral directors are owned by a huge company that keep the "family" name and insert their small logo somewhere on the sign, which means nothing to the majority of people. They also own several human crematoria and have been known to suggest their own crematorium over a council owned one to keep the money "in house" - of course if you don't know who owns the funeral directors / crematorium then you are none the wiser!

The same thing is happening in the veterinary world where one corporate vet company buys a local vet, keeps their name the same and then bulk buys whatever services they can get the best price for (including pet cremation services - they even own their own pet crematorium now!!!).

It's sad that you have to be on your guard - there are some great family run services out there that offer good value for money - you just need to DO YOUR RESEARCH!!!

If you want to take the burden away from your family then why not write down your favourite hymns / songs and give them an idea of the kind of service you want for yourself? Look up DyingMatters.org (sorry - still can't post links!!!) set up by the National Council for Pallative Care with the intention of helping break the taboo of death so more people are able to have "a good death".

sspaceflyer

Prices vary so much. The Co-op look very professional and have a good reputation but the cheapest basic funeral costs £1,940 plus cremation £584, doctors £156 and ministers £112 fees and you cant choose the time or dress the body and has restricted body viewing times; you can pay more for extra flexibility and extras and they are very honest and straightforward it seems.
A local funeral director near me advertises basic funerals - cremations with fees included for £1550 and you can dress the body, but no other flexibility at that price, but for £2048 they provide a limousine and time of choice and viewing body.
It is worth shopping around

StaffieTerrier

busiscoming2 wrote: »

You say to get three quotes, which is fair enough, but when my mum died at home, we just called the undertaker we knew most about to come and remove her body. Surely you can't then say sorry we need our 'body' moved to a different undertakers without incurring extra cost?

The same thing happened when my Father died at home. While my Mom was going through the paperwork with the paramedics, one of her neighbours went down the village to speak to the funeral directors. The last thing on anyone's mind when someone dies so suddenly is comparing costs for the funeral.

As sspaceflyer said it's not just about the amount you pay but also the service you receive. The funeral directors we used may not have been the cheapest (we don't know as we didn't have time to get quotes) but the service was brilliant. Nothing was too much for them, including coming to the house several times rather than us having to go to the office. We were also able to view Dad as many times as we wanted. At what is already a very difficult time spending slightly more can make the process a lot easier (I know this is a money saving website).