Buying for our baby (due oct)

McKneff

No, no other factors, asphyxiation, full stop.

First time it happened I was 16, a family baby, I had my babies at 18 and 22, I have to admit, breastfeeding during the night I did fall asleep whilst doing so, but as soon as I woke, back in their cot.

Apart from the dangers that I feel, and I endorse the point that its the way I feel its also getting baby into a routine, what do you do when they are 2/3/4 years old and you and your OH are aching to just sleep without the childs company, more frustration, no sex life,
no nothing, hassle then in getting the child to go into a room of its own.
I beleive my old mam used to say you'll be making a rod for your own back. lol
Im not a young mum by the way, (although I was in the past lol) Im 62 with grandchildren aged 22 downwards.

mildred1978

McKneff wrote: »

No, no other factors, asphyxiation, full stop.

First time it happened I was 16, a family baby, I had my babies at 18 and 22, I have to admit, breastfeeding during the night I did fall asleep whilst doing so, but as soon as I woke, back in their cot.

That is extremely dangerous.

McKneff wrote: »

Apart from the dangers that I feel, and I endorse the point that its the way I feel its also getting baby into a routine, what do you do when they are 2/3/4 years old and you and your OH are aching to just sleep without the childs company, more frustration, no sex life,
no nothing, hassle then in getting the child to go into a room of its own.

I simply haven't experienced that. My son sleeps extremely well in his own room or in with us. He transitioned to sleeping in his own room in 2 nights. His routine (long debated on this forum because we take a continental approach rather than the 7 till 7 routine everyone thinks is required) is perfect. He has had no separation anxiety, is extremely confident and sociable. I loved sleeping with him in the bed. Our sex life is fine.

McKneff wrote: »

I beleive my old mam used to say you'll be making a rod for your own back. lol

Well, myself and thousands of others who practice attachment parenting would disagree. As would rather a lot of scientific research.

McKneff wrote: »

Im not a young mum by the way, (although I was in the past lol) Im 62 with grandchildren aged 22 downwards.

Congratulations. With respect, that doesn't make you an expert.

barriejohn69

I would never in a million years have had our kids in with us. They were also in their own room from around 16 weeks. Kids need a routine. I know so many people who's children are 2 and still sleep with them or worse still are still running around at 9 o'clock at night.
Maybe they just keep them up this late so they can watch Jeremy Kyle in peace in the morning when they wake up.
i know it's each to their own but I'm certain I wouldn't risk my kid's life just to prove the general advice wrong.

barriejohn69

Originally Posted by McKneff
I beleive my old mam used to say you'll be making a rod for your own back. lol
Well, myself and thousands of others who practice attachment parenting would disagree. As would rather a lot of scientific research.


Sorry i can't agree with you there. There is far more research to suggest attachement parenting is not the best way to bring up a child. Just because you feel being apart from your child for more than a minute is not right, and your API forums agree with you, the big wide world out there has many theories and studies to disprove this.
Also good luck when your child starts nursery or school.

mildred1978

barriejohn69 wrote: »

I would never in a million years have had our kids in with us. They were also in their own room from around 16 weeks. Kids need a routine. I know so many people who's children are 2 and still sleep with them or worse still are still running around at 9 o'clock at night.
Maybe they just keep them up this late so they can watch Jeremy Kyle in peace in the morning when they wake up.
i know it's each to their own but I'm certain I wouldn't risk my kid's life just to prove the general advice wrong.

You do know you don't get medals for parenting decisions, don't you?

It is recommended that babies sleep in their parents' room for at least the first 6 months.

Children do not explode if they have a 9 to 9 or 10 to 10 routine.

What's right for you isn't right for everyone else. We do the best we can for our son, by properly considering and researching our parenting decisions. My health visitor can't give me any medical, scientific or even anecdotal evidence why going with my son's circadian rhythms is a bad idea. He is a happy and healthy little boy, and we are a happy family unit. And that's all I could ask for.

mildred1978

barriejohn69 wrote: »

Originally Posted by McKneff
I beleive my old mam used to say you'll be making a rod for your own back. lol
Well, myself and thousands of others who practice attachment parenting would disagree. As would rather a lot of scientific research.


Sorry i can't agree with you there. There is far more research to suggest attachement parenting is not the best way to bring up a child. Just because you feel being apart from your child for more than a minute is not right, and your API forums agree with you, the big wide world out there has many theories and studies to disprove this.
Also good luck when your child starts nursery or school.

Bring it on, big man. Let's see it.

(I'm not a member of any AP forums, and my son spends plenty of time away from me )

brazilianwax

mildred1978 wrote: »

Children do not explode if they have a 9 to 9 or 10 to 10 routine.

I'm living proof of that! I was notorious amongst family as a baby - from about 6 weeks I had a midnight-till-noon pattern, and nothing my mother did could get me out of it.

I did manage to go to nursery and to school without any problems though. Perhaps children are more adaptable than you think!

(FWIW my daughter doesn't have a 7-till-7 routine either, but it works for our family timetable. And genetically she was always going to be an owl, like her mum! :rotfl:)

barriejohn69

mildred1978 wrote: »

Bring it on, big man. Let's see it.

(I'm not a member of any AP forums, and my son spends plenty of time away from me )

You said you practiced API, if so then your child would not spend plenty of time away from you. Either you practice it or you dont but think its trendy to say you do. You cant have it both ways.

By the way "Bring it on big man" ?? who's been sending out photos of me?

barriejohn69

mildred1978 wrote: »

You do know you don't get medals for parenting decisions, don't you?

It is recommended that babies sleep in their parents' room for at least the first 6 months.

Children do not explode if they have a 9 to 9 or 10 to 10 routine.

What's right for you isn't right for everyone else. We do the best we can for our son, by properly considering and researching our parenting decisions. My health visitor can't give me any medical, scientific or even anecdotal evidence why going with my son's circadian rhythms is a bad idea. He is a happy and healthy little boy, and we are a happy family unit. And that's all I could ask for.

Sorry I forgot, you can give your opinion but no one else can because they are wrong. I just said what I think, you said what you think.
I go with the "norm" you don't, it doesnt make you god or a better parent than the next person. all I said was you either do API or you don't you say you do but you clearly don't or don't understand what it is.

mildred1978

barriejohn69 wrote: »

You said you practiced API, if so then your child would not spend plenty of time away from you. Either you practice it or you dont but think its trendy to say you do. You cant have it both ways.

By the way "Bring it on big man" ?? who's been sending out photos of me?

((sigh)). For 15 months he slept with us, I carried him in a sling every single day. He was never without me or my husband in that time. I breastfed him up to his 1st birthday and a few days beyond. Every day since he was 6 months old he's eaten what we've eaten and with us at the family dinner table. Now that I'm working on our new business, I need some time without him, just a couple of hours a couple of times a week.

Or are you suggesting that working parents can't do AP?

I expect this isn't helping the OP, so let's just agree to differ.