We'd like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum... Read More »
We're aware that some users are experiencing technical issues which the team are working to resolve. See the Community Noticeboard for more info. Thank you for your patience.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
Funeral - tipping?
Options
Comments
-
Where I live you usually tip the priest, singer/organist (usually price is agreed though), alter servers, grave diggers. I have no idea how much the tip is though, I do know that they don't all get the same amount like the alter servers get the least as usually younger.
The Methodist minister did not charge for his services or use of the church, and told us to make sure the FD did not just add them to the bill anyway (he didn't!) We sent the minister some gardening vouchers when he retired soon after, but again, I didn't see this as a tip, rather as a gift to someone who had been a good friend in time of need.
I said to my brother afterwards that I was glad we'd worked out we weren't tipping the pall bearers, as they didn't have much to do! The layout of the church means that coffins have to be trollied rather than carried in ...Signature removed for peace of mind0 -
I don't think everyone does it, just seems tradition in our family. Don't think it is huge amounts - £50 per envelope or thereabouts.
I think the organist/singer would only be if a fee hadn't already been arranged ( if it was the churches resident singer) we had arranged one privately though so like you say it was a fee and not a tip.
Pall bearers are usually family so they aren't included. I think it is just the priest, alter servers and grave diggers. We also gave a tip to those who catered the after service ( they did get paid but that went to the company as such - the tip was for the waitresses).0 -
The rip off prices being charged for funerals, tipping should be the last thing on people`s minds.0
-
Never heard of tipping for a funeral!
It never entered my head when I arranged my parents' funerals.
I had far more important things on my mind.
Most fees are statutory or laid down by the local / church authority.
The Minister may waive his fee for a church family.
The organist gets a regulated fee. (S/he may waive it for someone they know but less likely). OK it may seem a lot for one hymn, but s/he may have played for some time beforehand as people arrive early and perhaps a voluntary afterwards. But you are not just paying for the occasion, you are recognising the years of training, practice, hours set aside to prepare/travel/be available ...0 -
I used to work as a funeral arranger for a large, family owned company. About 50% of clients tip, it varies from £20 to whatever the family think. In the company i worked for, the money was shared out every six months between all the staff, arrangers, bearers, conductors, etc but didn't go to the company owners. As a company, the funeral conductor always took a tip to give to the gravedigger, so if the family wanted to do it as well, it was an extra payment as we would cover that without charging the family.
Although funerals are incredibly expensive, I was paid low wage for the job I had to do, as were all the other staff. As usual, it is the company owners who make the big money. It was not unusual for me to have to dress bodies, apply make up, deal with deceased children, etc., things that most people would be unable to do. I am aware that I took the job on myself, but at the same time, the average salary is only about £15k a year and I worked a 45hour week for that. The bearers and drivers got even less. It might seem that we don't do a lot considering the cost of the funeral, but all of us looked after other people's loved ones as if they were our own.
My personal opinion on tipping is that it is totally a personal choice and no-one should be obliged to do it. It was always gratefully received and made what is a pretty thankless job a bit better, people rarely show their appreciation for what we had to be do and it made nice change. In the same respect, a card or a thankyou phone call always made me feel happy.Debt as at Feb 14: £2272.40DFW Nerd no. 1024June Overhaul #260 -
We buried MIL about a week ago. There was no tipping and it was a burial. The grave was dug by JCB I think (as there was one at the cemetry entrance). The priest was paid but managed to get the MIL name wrong and talked about putting things on the coffee rather than coffin, so I don't really think he deserved a tip. Funeral directors were very good and provided the pall bearers but the thought of tipping them never crossed our mind. MIL's sister died two days after the funeral, they are having a service in one place and then taking the coffin two hundred miles for the burial and I'm not sure if they will be tipping the driver.0
-
Tipping everyone involved is the norm in Greece, you'd be the talk of the town the next day if you didn't, I've even heard of a grieving father being threatening with his son being dug up due to lack of tip. Thank god I don't live there any more.AKA: PC
...
Rest in Peace Fred the Maddest Muppet in Heaven0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply

Categories
- All Categories
- 350.9K Banking & Borrowing
- 253.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 453.5K Spending & Discounts
- 243.9K Work, Benefits & Business
- 598.8K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 176.9K Life & Family
- 257.2K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16.1K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.6K Read-Only Boards