First baby on the way and so very confused

Edinburghlass_2

fogartyblue. wrote: »

We will agree to disagree on this point.

Personally I have always placed the same level of importance to repaying money that someone had kindly allowed me to have as I do with mortgage payments and utilities. It is something that I was brought up to believe.

I have struggled many times in the past to meet the demands of all of my creditors, but I managed to pay them in full on the due date.

I presume you consider it right that someone be allowed to offer £1 a week off a £5000 credit card debt whilst retaining other monies for other purposes.

Sorry, but I was not brought up that way.

Personally I have absolutely no interest in your tiresome monologues

and it is of no help to the OP.

Spendless

jordanchaos wrote: »

and we have just been turned down for maternity allowance.

Have you been told why? This is the criteria for claiming


http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/BenefitsTaxCreditsAndOtherSupport/Expectingorbringingupchildren/DG_10018869

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BTW- I've taken the advice on board that you shouldn't use money given to you for fetching up kids for things like a roof over their head, so this afternoon I've sold our house. We only lived here anyway to give them a bedroom each, cos we have family support nearby and its catchment to a decent school and me and Mr S have moved into a 1 bed apartment overlooking a lake. I sent the kids with this weeks CB money to buy a small tent and they are camping in the woods in our former village from now on - result!

skintandscared_2

fogartyblue. wrote: »

skintandscared wrote: »

No what I was trying to say is that there are priorties. I see paying people back what they are owed in accordance with a contract I signed as up there with the mortgage/rent etc.

I was brought up to honour my debts as and when they fell due.

In a perfect world you are right and everyone should pay back what they owe the minute it is due. Sometimes things happen and that is impossible to do, so you take steps to do the best you can. Which is why every credit card company puts, on the back of their statements, to contact CCCS or PayPlan if the customer is experiencing difficulty paying. I have paid back what I actually spent about three times over now, and my remaining debt is cumulative and mountainous interest. I could have gone bankrupt and written the lot off, but I chose to set up a repayment plan, which I believe is the morally correct thing to do. It doesn't make my upbringing any less honourable than yours, I assure you.

God forbid, but if you suddenly fell ill or lost your job, you may also struggle to pay everything. It doesn't make you any less honourable or moral, just unlucky.

Taking the moral high ground doesn't help the OP. Constructive suggestions do. You just have to accept that unfortunately everyone isn't as perfect as you clearly are.

fogartyblue.

skintandscared wrote: »

fogartyblue. wrote: »

In a perfect world you are right and everyone should pay back what they owe the minute it is due. Sometimes things happen and that is impossible to do, so you take steps to do the best you can. Which is why every credit card company puts, on the back of their statements, to contact CCCS or PayPlan if the customer is experiencing difficulty paying. I have paid back what I actually spent about three times over now, and my remaining debt is cumulative and mountainous interest. I could have gone bankrupt and written the lot off, but I chose to set up a repayment plan, which I believe is the morally correct thing to do. It doesn't make my upbringing any less honourable than yours, I assure you.

God forbid, but if you suddenly fell ill or lost your job, you may also struggle to pay everything. It doesn't make you any less honourable or moral, just unlucky.

Taking the moral high ground doesn't help the OP. Constructive suggestions do. You just have to accept that unfortunately everyone isn't as perfect as you clearly are.

But that's the point. I don't borrow money or take out a debt that I could not repay if the worst came to the worst.

My debts will always be no more than 1/2 of my available savings.

skintandscared_2

fogartyblue. wrote: »

But that's the point. I don't borrow money or take out a debt that I could not repay if the worst came to the worst.

My debts will always be no more than 1/2 of my available savings.

Like I said, not everyone is as perfect as you clearly are.

samwich1979

fogartyblue. wrote: »

skintandscared wrote: »

But that's the point. I don't borrow money or take out a debt that I could not repay if the worst came to the worst.

My debts will always be no more than 1/2 of my available savings.

Well arent you lucky?

When i went onto maternity leave early due to illness last year my monthly wage dropped by nearly £300 a month, my husband was looking for work and my income was the only thing we had.

I ended up going to the CAB for help one id had the baby as we couldnt live at all, i had to get crisis loans just to feed our baby.

It wasnt that we had spent out too much on un-necessaries and lived beyond our means, we just didnt have enough income to cover rent, bills food etc.

We had to prioritise our debts, i closed my bank account with a fully used overdraft and opened another one so we had ALL of our money available, it was still a struggle but we managed to live just about. I started paying the overdraft back in small affordable amounts.

So i think if this is a way to help get your finances back on track then i think its something the OP should definately think about, god knows where my family would be if i hadnt done this.

People like you who think everyone should be able to pay every bill etc on time no give or take for a personal crisis or two need a bloody big wake up call.
Not everyone is lucky enough to be so well off or be able to maintain the same nice finances and lifestyle their whole life.

Things change and we have hiccups which make life more difficult but as long as there are ways out there to make it easier whilst we sort things out then who cares how its done?

OP if you are bringing home £1200 a month you should be able to get some help with Housing Benefit, this is what i was earning on Mat Leave and we got about £200 a month but this will depend on your LHA rate in your area.

Get Child Benefit and Child Tax Credits sorted as soon as the baby is born.

And like it has been mentioned go to the CAB, go through your finances with them and they will advise you as what to do, i did this and it saved us from going under.

And despite what has been said get a new bank account with no Overdraft opened and get your wages paid into this, the CAB will get in touch with your bank and get payments for the Overdraft sorted for you.

Good luck, ive been there and got through it.

fogartyblue.

samwich1979 wrote: »

fogartyblue. wrote: »

i closed my bank account with a fully used overdraft and opened another one so we had ALL of our money available I started paying the overdraft back in small affordable amounts.

People like you who think everyone should be able to pay every bill etc on time no give or take for a personal crisis or two need a bloody big wake up call.
who cares how its done?

I'm not saying what you did was wrong, but what you did has caused us others to suffer that do pay back what we should, when we should. We now have to pay a higher rate of interest & charges not because of our bad debts, or the way we run our finances, but because of others who are knocking the banks and credit card companies right, left and centre!

Why do we need a wake up call. We plan for the worst and hope for the best, and if we don't have the money - we don't go out and buy things.
I thought that that was the right way to view life.

So I presume that you think it OK to have a selfish attitude and say - 'well it suits us' without a care in the world about how it affects others.
I'm paying double the rate of interest on my card and overdraft because the banks have to recover their losses from someone - me it seems!

And quite honestly I care how it is done, like many 1,000's of others, if someone's else's actions impinge of me!!

skintandscared_2

fogartyblue. wrote: »

I'm not saying what you did was wrong, but what you did has caused us others to suffer that do pay back what we should, when we should. We now have to pay a higher rate of interest & charges not because of our bad debts, or the way we run our finances, but because of others who are knocking the banks and credit card companies right, left and centre!

Why do we need a wake up call. We plan for the worst and hope for the best, and if we don't have the money - we don't go out and buy things.
I thought that that was the right way to view life.

So I presume that you think it OK to have a selfish attitude and say - 'well it suits us' without a care in the world about how it affects others.
I'm paying double the rate of interest on my card and overdraft because the banks have to recover their losses from someone - me it seems!

And quite honestly I care how it is done, like many 1,000's of others, if someone's else's actions impinge of me!!

Why don't you direct your frustration at the banks and credit card companies who handed out loans and credit cards like sweets? Especially the ones who wait until you have a balance of several thousands, and are clearly living off the cards, before they increase their interest rate. Have you read a paper recently, or seen the news? Or do neither exist in that pink fur-lined bubble you live in? Does the word "recession" ring any bells? How about the job losses?

People have committed themselves at levels then can afford, then unforeseen circumstances arise that throw that out of the window. There is nothing wrong with someone admitting they can't cope and seeking alternative methods to pay. I do have an issue with bankruptcy and see that as totally immoral (after someone went bankrupt purely to avoid paying my partner the £21k he was owed), but paying back at a slower rate but IN FULL is not a criminal offence.

What has raised your interest rates more than slow-payers is banks charging excessive fees in the past, misselling PPI and lending irresponsibly. We are all paying the price for that now.

If you can't post something constructive or useful, why bother.

Triangle

OP:

Slightly off topic as not directly related to benefits but I'd recommend you join Freecycle or similar if you and your partner need to get bits for the baby. I got a fantastic sterliser set recently

Also join all the baby clubs - there is a list on the pregnancy thread - for freebies and vouchers.

Finally have a look round local car boot sales - we went to one a couple of weeks ago and every second stall was selling baby stuff, much of it unused and in perfect condition.

Good luck.

Shandygirl

Triangle wrote: »

OP:

Slightly off topic as not directly related to benefits but I'd recommend you join Freecycle or similar if you and your partner need to get bits for the baby. I got a fantastic sterliser set recently

Also join all the baby clubs - there is a list on the pregnancy thread - for freebies and vouchers.

Finally have a look round local car boot sales - we went to one a couple of weeks ago and every second stall was selling baby stuff, much of it unused and in perfect condition.

Good luck.

Some excellent advise.Instead of people arguing among themselves.