First baby on the way and so very confused

dodger1

MissMoneypenny wrote: »

There are family outings that can be free. The parents don't need to treat themselves to a day out at the child's expense.

They aren't.

fogartyblue.

skintandscared wrote: »

open a new bank account and can help you come
to an arrangement to pay off your overdraft and loans. That will free up some
of your wages to go on more important things

Are you actually saying that repaying debts is not important?
If someone has spent more than what they had coming in, that overspend can only have come from one source - those others that do pay there debts off when asked!

I cannot believe that you have said that.

So in your opinion it's Ok to spend money that doesn't belong to you and when asked to repay it, that request is considered as unimportant.

My God, what on earth were you taught by your parents as regards money management.

fogartyblue.

jordanchaos wrote: »

My income would stretch far, if I lived anywhere else, I'm already working two jobs to make ends meet, yes we have debts, we we're paying them off, the baby was just unexpected (but by no means unwanted) yes its high rent but once again, we do need to live somewhere, as I mentioned before its a small flat its not as nice as my grandmothers council house, its just that it's an expensive area - on £18k I take home just under £1200 - so £900 is rent... if £300 a month to cover anything else is a bit of a stretch right?

Have you not thought about moving down the road to Hove or maybe Moulsecoomb.

I have friends that live in those areas and the rents are a lot less!

fogartyblue.

Mara69 wrote: »

It is enough to mean that he'll not get much in the way of benefits. The OP CHOOSES to pay that much rent; I don't believe that there are not cheaper places available.

As has already been said, benefits do not take into account debts - and nor should they.

OP, a friend of mine managed to find someone to take over his expensive tenancy, maybe this is something you could consider?

ETA: Why on earth have you left it so late before worrying about paying the rent???? Most pregnancies last nine months - you should have been dealing with this months ago!

I could take the OP to at least 8 places on the outskirts of Brighton that are a lot more affordable.

Mind you it might 'fit in with the perceived lifestyle choice' that they have.
The OP thinks it reasonable to demand to live in the 'nicer' parts - yes as long as they are paying for it out of their own money and not expecting the rest of us to cough up for them.

Hey, I would love to live in Tunbridge Wells, but can only afford to live in place with house prices of less than half what they are there.

Maybe people could club together for me and help me out?

Edinburghlass_2

fogartyblue. wrote: »

Are you actually saying that repaying debts is not important?
If someone has spent more than what they had coming in, that overspend can only have come from one source - those others that do pay there debts off when asked!

I cannot believe that you have said that.

So in your opinion it's Ok to spend money that doesn't belong to you and when asked to repay it, that request is considered as unimportant.

My God, what on earth were you taught by your parents as regards money management.

try reading the post you have badly quoted, the user suggested the OP gets help from a free debt councelling service who will help them sort out the payment of their debts/loans. Good advice in my opinion.

MissMoneypenny

dodger1 wrote: »

They aren't.

There aren't any free days out! Are you joking?

Ever heard of a park? Or woods? Lake or river? Footpaths over fields? Picnics? Kites/footballs/cricket bat and other games?

dodger1

MissMoneypenny wrote: »

There are family outings that can be free. The parents don't need to treat themselves to a day out at the child's expense.

dodger1 wrote: »

They aren't.

MissMoneypenny wrote: »

There aren't any free days out! Are you joking?

Ever heard of a park? Or woods? Lake or river? Footpaths over fields? Picnics? Kites/footballs/cricket bat and other games?

"They aren't" refers to people, reference to days out would be "There aren't" so no I wasn't joking. Obviously "They aren't" wasn't refering to a lack of free days out but to the parents treating themselves at the childs expense.

Yes of course there are free days out although very lacking in some towns but children will also love to go to the cinema, to a wildlife park, funfair, etc etc and if that gives the child a better and happier existence then it's money well spent, as long as the child is well looked after as far as food, housing and clothing is concerned.

A happy childhood is a wonderful experience both for the parents and the child and if that needs the use of some of the benefits to help the whole family enjoy life then it's money well spent. The child will not be happy no matter what material things it has if the parents are still in poverty and not happy. Happy parents and happy children go together.

skintandscared_2

fogartyblue. wrote: »

Are you actually saying that repaying debts is not important?
If someone has spent more than what they had coming in, that overspend can only have come from one source - those others that do pay there debts off when asked!

I cannot believe that you have said that.

So in your opinion it's Ok to spend money that doesn't belong to you and when asked to repay it, that request is considered as unimportant.

My God, what on earth were you taught by your parents as regards money management.

Thank you for taking my advice completely out of context with the rest of the post. Very balanced!!!

My suggestion was that if the family do not have enough money to pay everything, they should contact a debt counselling organisation who can help them come to an arrangement with their debtors which would mean that ALL DEBTS ARE PAID but at a slightly reduced rate, giving them the money to pay rent, utility and food bills to keep them safe, warm and fed.

If you "cannot believe" that a home, food and warmth are more important to a newborn baby than a credit card company getting their full payment then shame on you quite frankly. Is it a bit breezy on that high horse of yours?!

fogartyblue.

Edinburghlass wrote: »

fogartyblue. wrote: »

try reading the post you have badly quoted, the user suggested the OP gets help from a free debt councelling service who will help them sort out the payment of their debts/loans. Good advice in my opinion.

We will agree to disagree on this point.

Personally I have always placed the same level of importance to repaying money that someone had kindly allowed me to have as I do with mortgage payments and utilities. It is something that I was brought up to believe.

I have struggled many times in the past to meet the demands of all of my creditors, but I managed to pay them in full on the due date.

I presume you consider it right that someone be allowed to offer £1 a week off a £5000 credit card debt whilst retaining other monies for other purposes.

Sorry, but I was not brought up that way.

fogartyblue.

skintandscared wrote: »

fogartyblue. wrote: »

Thank you for taking my advice completely out of context with the rest of the post. Very balanced!!!

My suggestion was that if the family do not have enough money to pay everything, they should contact a debt counselling organisation who can help them come to an arrangement with their debtors which would mean that ALL DEBTS ARE PAID but at a slightly reduced rate, giving them the money to pay rent, utility and food bills to keep them safe, warm and fed.

So what you are suggesting is that you 'knock' the people/companies that have allowed them to borrow from them at the expense of living in a 'wealthy' area and having funds for other things.

If you "cannot believe" that a home, food and warmth are more important to a newborn baby than a credit card company getting their full payment then shame on you quite frankly. Is it a bit breezy on that high horse of yours?!

No what I was trying to say is that there are priorties. I see paying people back what they are owed in accordance with a contract I signed as up there with the mortgage/rent etc.

I was brought up to honour my debts as and when they fell due.