Should Monica keep dating Bill?

MSE_Martin
MSE_Martin Posts: 8,273
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Here's this week's hypothetical situation for you to cogitate on:


Should Monica keep dating Bill?

Monica has been dating Bill for a month. While she doesn’t think he’s Mr Right, Bill is worth a bob or two and has taken her on dates to some trendy restaurants, showering her with expensive gifts. Monica really enjoys being spoilt and driving around in his TVR, yet feels a bit guilty as she knows he’s not the one, in fact he's not even in the top dozen. Should Monica keep dating Bill?

Martin

Click reply to enter the money moral maze (please remember, be polite to other MoneySavers, even if you disagree with them).

Previous MMDs: Should Madge flog Harold’s stuff on eBay? and Should Jenny kick them out?

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Martin Lewis, Money Saving Expert.
Please note, answers don't constitute financial advice, it is based on generalised journalistic research. Always ensure any decision is made with regards to your own individual circumstance.
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Comments

  • I guess it depends if Mr Right is in her life right now. And if Bill is aware of the situation and how she feels?

    If both of them are happy to enjoy life and have fun together then YES of course she should keep seeing him.

    However, if Bill wants more than she can offer and she is having to pretend to be in love with him for the sake of the money then NO thats not fair on him. Also if her real Mr Right is around right now then she should focus on him and drop the casual liasons.

    If it were me and i was free and single with no more-long-term prospects atm then i'd definatly enjoy the relationship while its good!!
  • excellent answer hmm? just have "fun"? what happens when that "fun" ends in broken hearts, changed feelings, or worse still an "unwanted" pregnancy. it might start off that theyre not serious about each other but the nature of such relationshps is that feelings change
  • The answer to this depends on the sort of person Monica is, and whether Bill is aware of this and is happy with it.

    If Bill is unaware and Monica is taking him for a ride (perhaps in return for a ride), then she is little more than a vacuous, shallow !!!!!. If Bill had any self-respect, he'd do what he could to suss her out and immediately get rid.

    If she's open and honest i.e. "I'm just with you for your cash and a few good times", I'd be surprised if Bill stuck around, unless he didn't give a monkey's and/or Monica was putting out and good in the sack. Frankly, I can't imagine anyone would be so brave and honest as to admit such a thing.

    I'm sure there are plenty of people who are together for financial rather than loving reasons, but I wouldn't want to be one of them.
  • purplepatch
    purplepatch Posts: 2,534 Forumite
    One of my bestest mates found herself in a similar position when she was much younger. I remember her sending me a letter which I won't quote exactly (I still remember the toe curling way she phrased it!) but it certainly made it clear that she was seeing a rich guy from work who was older, duller and less attractive than her usual conquests. But seriously loaded ;)

    What happened? That was 15 years ago - she fell in love with him (really him not the money!), they got married and have two lovely kids (not to mention a massive house, posh car and all the trimmings). I do sometimes have to remind her about that letter though :rotfl:

    Monica - you go girl! Watch out for the cigars tho :p
  • Its a month, they are dating, there is no mention of committment on either part from what I can see yet. Perhaps Bill enjoys having Monica on his arm and he knows she is not Mrs Right...... maybe Bill has the capacity to understand it is casual and either of them can end it when they have had enough.

    Monica is starting to feel guilty though and us women are conditioned to feel guilty (I won't bore you with why or how) ......... so if I were Monica I would have to tell Bill I feel a little guilty as I have no intention of settling down etc and seek out his views. Who knows he may say "thank god for that, I can't stand it when women get all clingy on me". Or he may say well off you go then,

    Either way its a win win, Monica will not be able to continue enjoying herself unless she rids herself of guilt and Bill will be delighted that Monica just wants fun .... and they all lived hapiily evr after until ???????
    Oh how I dream............
  • Yea, marry him then dump him in a couple of years time and take half the cash.
    Nothing to see here, move along.
  • Well, it's only a matter of time before the TVR breaks down and then she won't be impressed
  • Depends what Bill wants/is looking for? If he thinks she's "the one" then she should stop using him and tell him.:A
    Or treat him now and again
  • If everyone reviewed a relationship after one month, in terms of Mr or Ms Right, then there'd be hardly any long term relationships! There's no way to rule against heartbreak either.
    Maybe Bill's only dating Monica because she's fabulous looking?

    Keep dating until boredom sets in and the natural end happens, or new people appear on the horizon.
  • The longer she keeps dating him, the harder she will find it to let him go in the end.........she will get used to the good life !

    Poor chap...

    She should follow her heart and find someone she REALLY fancies.

    There is a lot more to life than money.She needs to find her real values ..

    Miriam
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