Having a baby Old Style???

HappySad

bluep wrote:

So on this basis you will also be keeping them from going to school and teaching them at home? If not, then why does your reasoning change when they reach 5? How come people never question whether fathers are being proper fathers if they go to work full time?

My career is important but never more important than my daughter. I am also making sure that I go to work for a company that allows me to take double my paid holiday per year as part of the benefits package rather than a company car etc... Wonderful assumptions that you make about childcare by the way - we've found an incredably dedicated and loving childminder who my daughter already adores, but she certainly saves the biggest grins for us when we pick her up. My childminder has been selected because she has similar ethics and behaviour standards to us, her 5 year old daughter is a positive developmental influence on my child and I believe that in years to come, my daughter will learn important socialising skills through interacting with different people.

I think there are people who decide to stay at home with their children then end up paying very little attention to them due to doing the housework, going shopping, leaving them in the creche at the gym...NOT that I am implying this is all or even most of stay-at-home mums. I just think the situation is a little less black and white than you paint it. I grew up to be an indepedent woman due to the example that my mum set me about work ethic, achievement, attitudes to society etc...and there were times she had to work 7 days a week in order to keep us financially afloat (not luxuries, just rent and food) but I never ever for one moment felt unloved, unwanted or closer to anyone else in the world. I want my daughter to grow up feeling that she can have a family and a career, that the two aren't mutually exclusive. That her husband/partner can stay at home if they chose to...that she will not be judged for her lifestyle or her gender.

In regards to the issue of the degeneration of society - research shows that behavioural patterns in children are at their worst in deprived areas - these also happen to have a higher level of parents who are non-working on benefits. Again not that I'm suggesting people on benefits are all in that catagory. I'm just pointing out that not all parents who are at home all the time are baking cakes and making home art with their children.

Please try to understand that there are other ways of doing things and not to judge people in that way. I hope I've come across as non-judgemental; if I've said anything offensive it's due to in-eloquence in my explanation and not intention...got to dash, my partner just brought my baby back from the childminders and I'm off to play until bedtime!

It is tempting to put your child in a creche while you go off to the gym and spend most of the day shopping and house work while he spends hours sitting unfront of the TV. BUT! I spend my time doing house work while my son is having his nap. While I am food shopping I talk to him about the foods I am choosing & what they are called. While we walk the streets I sing nursery rhymes and talk about the cars & trees. When my son starts nursery part-time I will be going along to the gym for some of this time and the rest I will be using it to catch up on housework/chores. If I have any more time I will be doing a home study course on being a lifecoach. I always watch his hour of TV with my son and I join in with singing of the songs and doing the actions that are compulsery when you are watching CBeeBies.

I agree with alot of what you have said bluep. Why do we say nothing about the fathers that go off to full time work? Well I am! My partner spends for to much time at work. I am working on getting him to do less hours and spend more time with his family. He would also like to do this but at the moment would not be able to. Ideally I would like for my partner to work part-time and I work part-time and we share our time with our son. Children and especially boys need to have good quality time with their fathers as well as their mothers.

AS a stay at home mother I make sure that my child gets to spend a lot of time with other children in playgroups. He gets to learn all his valuable social skills there.. & I get to learn about parenting.

My mother had to work because she was a single parent and I learnt from her the importance of family life being supported by the financial rewards of work life.

BWZN93

jellyhead wrote:

lol! i watched desperate midwives, it scared the life out of me, it's not as smiley and reassuring as portland babies is it :rotfl:

hyperemesis isn't pleasant but second time around i had a GP who treated me for it, first time around it was ignored so i got anaemic from all the blood i was vomiting and had constant UTI's. by the time i gave birth i was badly anaemic and needed blood, also my kidneys packed up so i needed jabs and had a catheter bag in for 4 days with all fluid going in and coming out getting counted, so bedbaths, tied to the bed during labour and had to try to hide the bag of wee dangling from the bed when i had visitors :rotfl: i didn't produce a single drop if breastmilk and i had pre-eclampsia. this time around there are some signs that i might have milk, and no signs of pre-eclampsia, so i'd definitely say to anyone who is sick a lot to get it checked out, a night in hospital on a drip can make the world of difference.

have we scared anyone off the idea yet ? :eek:

YUP!!!

Jo xx

HappySad

ancasta wrote:

im really struggling to find a pram for tall people. Im 5ft 10 and well over 6ft with heels (i love platform boots ) and im finding it VERY difficult to find a pram/pushchair that is comfortable to push. My OH is 6ft 4 and he finds himself slouching to push them.

We've trawled mama's and papa's, toys r us and mother care just to research heights and what not and we have a bad feeling we might have to pay a bit more to get a comfortable to use item. i plan on doing alot of walking with the pram so a comfy position would be better than being scrunched up.

Try going along to the http://www.thebabyshow.co.uk

Gryfon

Sorry butting in here...and this has probably been posted loads of times, but I don't have time to read though as I really should get my two dressed

Anyway if anyone offers you anything accept it! If you find out later you don't want it, don't like it or can't use it then you can sell it, take it to a charity shop or pass it on again!

If you can then use resusables. If you just use them for one baby then as soon as they grow out of them you can sell them on as long as they're in good condition. If you have more than one then the next time you don't have to shell out on them!

Also visit NCT sales (loads of cheap good quality clothes from other parents), boot sales, charity shops etc. If you look through you can find some very nice things for a fraction of the price.

If you want to buy from shops, then get the summer stuff for next year in the sales in Autumn and the Winter stuff in spring, just remember that they grow!

And then I think feeding etc is obvious and has been posted before.

Oh and if any nice family members offer to buy you anything don't say no! Our first travel system we had some money to get and it's still usuable, our cot was given to us, the moses basket we used was also given to use.

So it's easy to do it cheaply if you don't mind having 2nd hand goods

Rachel xx

dopher

Hi this isnt a money saving tip so it will probably get moved (sorry) but its a good tip. If you bottle feed only make up 2 thirds of the formular then put it in the fridge i.e 6 ounce bottle put all the formular in but only add 4 ounces of water put it in the fridge and when little one is hungry top up with two once of boiling water and it will be the perfect temperature so no need to wait for it to cool down. You can also make up a flask of boiling water so that in the middle of the night you dont have to wait for the kettle to boil.

jellyhead

good idea - these night feeds are getting me down lol! i also just read about having the water cooled in a bottle and then keeping the powder in a container, avent do one with compartments apparently. you can mix the formula when needed, no need for refridgeration or warming at night then!

donna-j_2

HappySad wrote:

A bit of a dig.... If your child is at nursery from 9am until 5pm that mean that there are only 4 hours awake time with your child... and most of this would be spent getting dinner ready & doing all those chores you could not do because you were at work for the day. I personall feel that working part-time if you can would be a better work-life balance. You still get to keep your career going and still get to spend more time with your child.

Do you work full time?? How to you manage to get quality time with your child during the week?

But why do you need to 'dig'? I don't see why people feel they have to comment ...

For a start there are two of us so it does not all fall to me.

Baby was due yesterday. I am taking a year off work so do not plan to go back until next August. Then I'll go back 4 days, but slightly reduced hours. I plan to work approx 8-3.45 but my thought on this change daily. My OH will work 9.15-5.45. He will drop off the baby at 9 and I'll pick it up by 4.15. That's 2 hours in the morning that the baby will see at least one of us and probaby at least three at night.

I certainly don't intend to spend 4 hours a day doing housework and cooking the dinner! We live in a bungalow not a mansion! My OH and I share these tasks, we have a dishwasher and if needs be once I go back to work we'll get a cleaner so that we don't have to do it.

sooz

jellyhead wrote:

good idea - these night feeds are getting me down lol! i also just read about having the water cooled in a bottle and then keeping the powder in a container, avent do one with compartments apparently. you can mix the formula when needed, no need for refridgeration or warming at night then!

yes, that's exactly what we did. also bought a mini fridge, but it made too much noise, and then you had to get the bottle warmer warmed. avent 3 container milk holders are about 5 pounds, but we founds loads on sale at nct sales for 50p. they are plastic and can go in the dishwasher and be sterilised too. however, if you can't find one, just measure milk into another dry bottle, and transfer contents carefully...hard when your eyes are still glued shut.

avent milk containers also so much better for going out...no cool bags, bottle warmers etc. as soon as my little one was big enough, made him have room temperature milk...saved time for everyone.

jellyhead

sorry to sound dim but is there any benefit in warming the bottles? does it mix better, cause less wind, etc? roo's 6 days old and has always had his formula at room temp, he pulled a face just now when i gave him some freshly expressed breast milk, he's not used to it being warm

Katinkka

Hey Jellyhead. He probably pulled a face because of the temp and the different milk? Why are you feeding formula and breastmilk? I hate to sound like im preaching but he is so small it could cause him some wind due to the different kinds of milk he is getting.

DO you buy readymade formula and thats why its room temp? If you make it up, you should really refridgerate it till you need it or it will go bad.