Financial abuse of an elderly relative

margaretclare

cathleenthompson wrote: »

Seniors are one of the groups hit hardest by the recession. What can you say about this?

That we are no longer obliged to compete in the jobs market. There are now hundreds of applicants for every vacancy of whatever kind. In my early working life there were plenty of jobs. How, therefore, are we 'hit hardest by the recession'?

One example is my youngest GD. She did a BTEC in Travel and Tourism, hoping for a career in that speciality. The recession hit just as she left college. Many of the travel firms, small airlines, coach companies, either closed or went into recession. She's now working part-time picking online grocery orders. Not the future she hoped for, not at all! And part-time! I would say that she is most definitely in one of the groups hardest hit by recession. 20 years ago she'd have been hoping to get on to the housing ladder and marry her fiance. They can't afford a house and I don't know what her future will be.

paddyz

If your FIL is 5 miles away from you? How about you and your OH spend more time with your FIL, do the weekly shopping with him, help as much as you can, he has become dependant on this woman and feels he can't cope without her help, even if it is very expensive!

She won't stop this as its a good earner so you really need to report this as only a very manipulative person does this, and who knows how many other people are getting her services!

People have been found to be living like animals, little food, no heating items sold etc, when financial abuse takes a really bad turn.

Also speak to your FILs doctor, some Parkinsons sufferers have compulsions to spend money recklessly etc and this might be linked to his behaviour.

Stop this woman! Report this

Try to make sure your FIL has as much support as possible!

People that do this would find a lonely, Sick, unsupported person a very easy target. You dont need to wait to find out any more info surely!

I have seen this often, hope things get sorted

John_Pierpoint

Even the property might be at risk, though mortgages are more difficult to get these days. The legislation actually "encourages" old people to raise capital against their homes.

I have a friend whose father mortgaged the family home, secretly. He then used the money to enjoy a lifestyle beyond is actual means; just by buying the drinks it is possible to acquire a group of superficial "friends".

Eventually said father had to move into rented accommodation and finally could not "afford" that either. That of course made him a charity case for the local council and he is now in sheltered accommodation claiming benefits paid for by the rest of us.

There in his papers is a letter from his solicitor, in the regard to the re mortgaging of the family home saying he "...........really ought to consult the other members of the family ".

Regretfully in the final analysis, there are a lot of old people without a realistic understanding of the current value of money; possibly for the first time in their lives, they have access to what seems to be a large sum of money and they think "Its mine - I can spend - otherwise what is it for anyway".

When mum was part of dad's household who did the accounts?

blossomhill_2

I sympathise with the situation - unfortunately, the guidlines on elder abuse and what to look out for put everyone under suspicion, even concerned relatives who start taking an interest

While you consider the best course of action, you could tip off the solicitor that you are considering having fil's situation looked into for potential abuse and ask them to do the same if they have any doubts about their recent dealings

dawyldthing

an option to go down is to get some support workers in. Its what I am and were pretty much responsible for everything, so you know his needs would be met, he would be taken shopping and the like and you would be able to keep track of his money as it all has to be documented, and most places will insist on this as their reputation would be on the line

20400keith

I would be tempted to grasp the nettle and get your husband to speak to his father about his concerns.

From your comments it sounds as though he is lonely (moved to a new area, no friends, others in neighbouring flats have died...). Under those circumstances, maybe he's happy to be financialy exploited in exchange for someone taking an interest in him. Who else would he go out with for meals etc.

You mention that he has 5 grandchildren. Are they local and could they be more involved?

My advice would be to tell him that you love him, that you recognise relocating to a new area might be difficult, that his life may not be very happy or fulfilled at the moment, that you're worried he might be being taken advantage of, and whilst you will completely support him if it's his informed decision to continue spending his money on this woman you will also be there to help him look at alternative ways of socialising and completing practical tasks so he can be less dependent on her. There may well be day centres or lunch clubs that he could attend, or does he have an interest that could be encouraged?

There are comments about mental capacity in this thread. Mental capacity is issue specific - you might have the capacity to make financial decisions but lack the capacity to decide whether you should have surgery. It depends upon your comprehension of the issue and the implications. Mental capacity can also fluctuate - you may be more alert at some points during the day than others, so have capacity about an issue in the morning, for example, but not in the afternoon.

You do not need to lack capacity in order for this to be a safeguarding issue. You need to be vulnerable (eg you can be very alert but housebound, and financially exploited because someone steals from you when they do your shopping etc).

If you make a referral to Social Care Adult Safeguarding you can ask for your details to be kept confidential, although if they act on the referral they'll probably tell your FiL that they have been contacted by someone who wishes to remain anonymous so he may well guess it's you.

Awful situation. Best of luck.