Financial abuse of an elderly relative

MeganG

Please excuse what will be a long & rambling post, but I could do with some advice.

The background is that 14 years ago, after the death of his wife, my Father in Law moved down from the North of England to live 5 minutes away from us in a housing association flat which he owns without a mortgage. My husband's other brother still lives in the North.

A couple of years ago, we started finding things out about his 30 yr old female taxi driver which lead us to believe she is a financial abuser. Some egs of things which made us suspicious are -

1. She told him he feels like her father & insists on being called his daughter & she calls him Dad.
2.She charges him a taxi fare of £10 for even the shortest of journeys & he has to pay her £90 for his shopping trip to ASDA where he has to buy her lunch in the cafe.
3.She arranges for him to take her to expensive restaurants for meals & then charges him for the taxi fare there & back!
4. He has paid for holidays abroad for her & her boyfriend.
5. She arranges for decorating & odd jobs to be done by her boyfriend for an exhorbitant rate & to a dubious standard.
6. She sells him things that he doesn't need & that don't work. eg thousands of £s for 2 second hand mobility scooters, only one of which worked & was needed. eg £500 for a clapped out 2nd hand laptop that he doesn't know how to use, when he isn't even connected to the internet.
7. She is a bankrupt, as is her live in boyfriend.

There are many, many more examples, but I couldn't possibly list them all. Suffice to say, the £50,000 savings he had 2 years ago have now gone, despite his pension being more than enough for him to live on.

My husband has tried to warn him about what she is doing, but my F.i.L. gets very angry & defensive when the subject is brought up. He has said that he is aware her main motivation is money, but that it is his money & he will do what he likes with it. My husband has tried to keep the relationship with his father going, so he can monitor what is going on & try to protect him. He has been reluctant up til now to speak to the police or Social Services, as his father would immediately guess who reported her to them & he is more than capable of cutting my husband out of his life altogether, as he has done to other close relatives throughout his life.

Years ago, my husband was made executor of his Dad's will. The beneficiaries were his 5 grandchildren. We were fine about this as we are more than comfortably off financially and don't need any money. Over the last few months, My F.i.L. has got a bee in his bonnet, reminding us at every opportunity that he is not leaving any money to his sons. Despite reassuring him that that is absolutely fine, someone seems to be encouraging him to believe that his sons are only after his money. We believe his taxi driver is brainwashing him as to his sons motives & is trying to drive a wedge between the family & isolate him from us. So much so that he no longer speaks to his other son or lets him visit.

When my husband went to visit him at the weekend, he was informed that he has changed his will & that he is no longer the executor. He has instead appointed two relative strangers who have never even set foot in his flat before. He has also left a letter with his executors & solicitor to say that when he dies, his taxi driver will arrange & run the funeral & that extremely generous financial provision has been made for her to be paid to do this. We strongly suspect that she has been added as an additional beneficiary in the will. She even went with him to the Solicitor's office when he gave instructions & when he executed the new will.

I would like advice about whether Social Services would treat a complaint about her in the strictest of confidence. Despite being deeply hurt by what his father has done, my husband wants to maintain their relationship to stop him selling his flat to realise cash, (this was suggested to him previously by this woman). At the moment, he is safe in warden protected accommodation & has more than enough income to meet his outgoings. We do not want that protection to be taken away from him. If he had any inkling that my husband were about to report the woman to the authorities, he would cut him out of his life & he would be left completely at her mercy & under her control. I do not think he has full-blown dementia, but he is making poor financial decisions that he would never have made 10 years ago. In fact, when he wanted to change his will, his solicitor insisted he get a letter from his GP saying he had the capacity to do this, although I am not sure whether he was given a full set of cognotive tests. Is there any action the authorities can take against a financial abuser, even if the victim has capacity?

Thank you for reading this, & I would be grateful for any help & examples of how others have dealt with similar situations.

meg72

Ohh I do feel for you,it is heartbreaking to see someone being used like this, sadly, as I have found,there is nothing to be done if the person has capacity.

whitewing

Speak to the police in any case; if the taxi driver has been complained about before they may be interested.

What's the warden of the flats like? You may find he/she is concerned too.

Try Age UK, i think there is something on their website about elder abuse.

MeganG

Thanks for your replies. Would Social Services do nothing even though he is a vulnerable 87yr old who is obviously being used by this person? I guess we were hoping that at the very least, they would check to see if she had been brought to their attention before. Even if it is too late to help him, I'd be very upset if she was allowed to find another elderly victim to exploit after my father-in-law is no longer around. The flats only have a part time warden & the HA uses temporary relief wardens all the time, so I'm not convinced they would help.I will try the Age uk website.:)

whitewing

I would like to think that Social Services would be able to help. It would be worth calling and discussing it with them. At the very least I would expect them to be able to say whether or not they would be able to not tell FIL that it stemmed from you so you at least get the option of taking it further or not at this stage.

NAR

The big problem here is proof, which I fear will be impossible to get. If either Social Services or the Police were to interview your father about the taxi driver and he says he was quite happy to part with the money to her (and he still has his facilties) then I very much doubt if any further action would be taken.

She has very cleverly built a close bond with him and is using this for her own means. However until he has a lightbulb moment about her I think all you can do is keep a watchful eye.

MeganG

I really do appreciate all your replies. We'll have a discussion & talk through our options. I think I must have lived a sheltered life up til now as I'm flabbergasted that such mercenary, exploitative people exist!

Engagedtobaz

I am having the same problem in my family. I know that my niece (dads grandaughter) is financially abusing him. When Dad was in hospital mum found bank statements with a lot of cash withdrawals, and the grandaughter was the only person who used to take him to the bank.

There is loads to this story but havent to time to post now, but didnt want to read and run. I have had police involved, but as it is his decision they will do nothing, social services wont help as the police wont help. Social services say he has full mental capacity even though he has parkinsons disease and is at the stage when he doesnt even know what day it is and cant remember what you told him yesterday.

Any help that you can offer original poster would be gratefully received by myself as I dont know what else I can do it the authoritys wont help.

MeganG

Engagedtobaz wrote: »

I am having the same problem in my family. I know that my niece (dads grandaughter) is financially abusing him. When Dad was in hospital mum found bank statements with a lot of cash withdrawals, and the grandaughter was the only person who used to take him to the bank.

There is loads to this story but havent to time to post now, but didnt want to read and run. I have had police involved, but as it is his decision they will do nothing, social services wont help as the police wont help. Social services say he has full mental capacity even though he has parkinsons disease and is at the stage when he doesnt even know what day it is and cant remember what you told him yesterday.

Any help that you can offer original poster would be gratefully received by myself as I dont know what else I can do it the authoritys wont help.

Sorry to hear you have a similar problem. Maybe it is more wide-spread than I thought.

alanq

Firstly one has to determine whether the person being "abused" has capacity. If they have, then they are entitled to make their own foolish decisions. If it can be established that they lack capacity then it may be possible to take steps to protect them from themselves.

"Every adult has the right to make their own decisions if they have the
capacity to do so. Family carers and healthcare or social care staff must assume that a person has the capacity to make decisions, unless it can be established that the person does not have capacity."

"People have the right to make decisions that others might think are unwise. A person who makes a decision that others think is unwise should not automatically be labelled as lacking the capacity to make a decision."
p 20.
http://www.justice.gov.uk/downloads/protecting-the-vulnerable/mca/mca-code-practice-0509.pdf

Mojisola

alanq wrote: »

Firstly one has to determine whether the person being "abused" has capacity. If they have, then they are entitled to make their own foolish decisions. If it can be established that they lack capacity then it may be possible to take steps to protect them from themselves.

Lots of people fall for a conman's tricks while being of full capacity. Think of the people who get talked into having a shoddy job done on a driveway for an exorbitant price. The police still treat that as a crime.

It's appalling that there shouldn't be some investigation of this woman and her BF.