Reality check

salnew

Hi Zephyr21
Just though I'd say Hi.
I've just read you post's, your not on your own, some of your situation sounds like mind, with family and debt. i wish i could get out of debt and be able to own my own flat/house, but that seems like a way off dream. my job is stressing me out to the point i broke down and cried at my desk the other day.

but things always work out in the end, there will a happy ending for you and the rest of us. we have to think positive. life is on the up.......

missrlr

Well done you on Step one
There is nothing quite like family to really pee you off and take the mick.
You have a list and some positiveness now do an SOA (see link at top of forum) post it here if you want ideas to assist and your new job is financial manager of your joint life plus job hunter extraordinaire !
Best of luck

elantan

Sorry am on phone so will make it quick... O.S board is the old style board where u get hints and tips on cutting back and making things go further

I'm loving this strong sounding person ... Keep it up

mamato3

Hi Zephyr21 - had a read of your diary and it really struck a chord with me! I grew up knowing all my parents moneys problems and to be honest they're as bad now as they were then if not worse! I've helped them out so many times over the years only to find out they've ordered stuff from catalogues or got expensive mobiles or just silly things that I wonder why I bother. So now I don't! It's really hard and I'n full of guilt when they've no oil or not much food but sometimes you just can't help people! It's took me years to work that out and an awful lot of money never repaid. I'm one of 7 and i think my dad in particular, thinks me and my siblings should be helping out more never mind we all have mortgages, children and bills of our own! So yes it is frustrating and sad and leaves you full of guilt but there just comes a point when you have to start looking after yourselves.

So I really just wanted to wish you all the best on your journey and to let you know you're not alone with dependent parents! I will subscribe if you don't mind and follow your journey.

zephyr21

Salnew- Do not let them put you down! You have to remember that is how it works - they put you down so much in work you are now not sure what your name is - Believe in yourself and look for another job before you will be stuck!!! And do not let them see you cry- do not give them that satisfaction.
missrlr - yep - I am stoping feeling sorry for myself - as of today - and getting my affairs in order. I have done budget brain thing and it will be tough from one wage ( looking at it impossible even) but I will know more after the holidays as I am still working at the moment and expenses are different than to what they will be.
Elantan -I had a look at the ideas- I already have couple that i will use.
Right now it is to stay positive as feeling like failure will help NOBODY!

zephyr21

mamato3- thanks for your post-subscribe away - I am one of 5 and my parents are at least as crazy (if you don't mind me saying ) as yours or worst. I spoke with my brother yesterday - and he was like " no matter what they are still your parents and you have only one of them" . I agree with it accept I have only one of me also- and they are adult so their life is up to them. And if he is so loving he should dish out money ( to be fair he did and he is resentful because he will never get them back!)
if they were grateful - but they are not - it is like nothing is good enough and kids of other people are always better than theirs. CRAZY! I And trust me - I know the feeling of guilt very well - but it makes me feel like I am 6 again, completely helpless and I refuse to be a victim. I should also mention that there my father has a massive problem with a drink and my mom will always choose him over her own children.

ANYWAY - Lets stay positive - after all I wowed that i will not let them get to my head ( and wallet ) again.
So there.
And I will be fine no matter what.

mamato3

Maybe its a large family thing lol! But yes stay positive and over time hopefully your relationship will get better. I've had the very same conversation with my brother many times and yes I love my parents to bits but surely they should love us enough not to put us in awakard situations re money! It really is swings and roundabouts! I have gone the opposite with my kiddies and tell them nothing re our money situation not sure if thats good or bad! My parents both don't work due to depression/anxiety and my dad has the early on set of arthritis so this together with one to many horse/card bets and just generally bad decision making has led to their current situation.

Anyways I think I have vented enough on your lovely diary lol! They're great places for getting everything off your chest! Enjoy the rest of your Sunday.

elantan

I'm one of 11 kids ... And yes they are my parents and i only have one set ( thank goodness) but parents are meant to nurture and support their children not leach off them ... Well thats my opinion anyway lol

moneysavermum_2

zephyr21 wrote: »

Well, judging by the response, none of you lucky people. In any case, it stops now and the only family that I will care for from now on is my partner and our pet. It is a high time to get just a little bit selfish, otherwise we will never have a house and/or savings.
So time to ditch the ungrateful burden!

I think your quite right...your family is your partner and your pet and if you dont concentrate on your own security youll have none and then who will help you lot out. Shut the door to any more demands.....just say no because quite frankly you cant afford to bail anyone out. You did the right thing about your job though in my opinion and another will come along.

Just budget all your monies out and dont overspend.

moneysavermum_2

elantan wrote: »

I'm one of 11 kids ... And yes they are my parents and i only have one set ( thank goodness) but parents are meant to nurture and support their children not leach off them ... Well thats my opinion anyway lol

theres something wrong about providing for parents...surely the fact they are older supposedly wiser should mean that they have made their mistakes with money and be on an even keel. I wont bail my family out at all. I just dont agree with it.I think charity belongs at home in your own house unless you are rich and have spare.