Reality check

zephyr21

Still ill, but made some decision - I spoke to my partner and I will hand notice in this week. I do not qualify so I know that I will not receive any government assistance. My partner helped me make this decision. We will get by, but we will not be able to pay off debts, not more than minimal payment anyway and I am really really terrified.
SCARY.

zephyr21

Handed in my notice - I am absolutely terrified - but it is a right decision.
Also had a terrible spending spree- 150 on groceries in a week.
I do not even try to justify this one...

rising_from_the_ashes

Hi zephyr, stumbled on your diary and just wanted to *wave* and say hello really.

I'm very lucky that my M&D realise how tight things are for me so no expectations there & in fact the total opposite as when it's their birthday / M or F day they say they don't need anything (but of course I do get them something) which makes me feel guilty. In a way, a lack of siblings is both a blessing and a curse!:)

I too hate my job ... but unfortunately being single, it's just not an option to hand in my notice as there are scarily few jobs around here just now (very rural area with few opportunities - or a very big commute to the nearest city:( ). If you hate it that much and it's making you feel awful all the time, then you've made the right decision.

Have you done a SOA recently to see if there's some areas that you could try to cut down on? Usually a great starting point and it's often when someone else goes "how much!:eek:" that we realise we're maybe not getting the best deal & are paying over the odds for things.

Anyway, wishing you the best of luck finding a new job soon & I'll pop back & see how it's going.

elantan

with things changing in your employment sit down and have a real hard think about who you can help and what you can afford .... should you be helping others when you cant afford gas or elec for eg ( not saying you cant, just giving an example)

i too really dont enjoy my job i have been looking since last July for a new one but there is nothing out there that suits good luck with finding something new , till you do get a plan of action for your situation , so that you dont land up in a worse mess

good luck

zephyr21

Just feeling like failure all the time now and that result in overspending and overeating. Absolutely terrified. Straight after end of my work ( i have a long notice period) we have pre-booked holiday- I am worried about money and finding work.
Elantan, you are absolutely right - to be honest I got sooooo fed up with the family drama that I just stooped calling them - to be honest this was really good decision.
I am absolutely terrified about me being without work, I will not get a penny from government (I knew this before I quit) so we will have to relay on only one wage to go on.. . Really scared and really feeling like failure.
Rising from the Ashes - You are very lucky with your parents.
Sadly I had to leave my work - I do not want to get to the gory details - but it was BAD. I hope you will find something new very soon.

elantan

Thia situation has the potential to be wonderful for you, you will not have the stress involved in your life from work, your time now to go to the family and say i have no money and see if they buy you lunch etc ( i highly doubt if they will but it will give you more strength to say NO when you are earning again )

You now have time to concentrate on cutting your money down and do something that you will enjoy, really great possibilities await you

I hope your going to grab them we'll be here for the journey supporting all the way



Good luck

zephyr21

thanks elantan - you are a master of positive thinking! To be honest over last week and half realistically I dumped my family - I do not call them at all, if they want to speak to me they spend their money on phone- I am done. I mean it- if they will go hungry I will buy them food if it needs to be, but I no longer will sponsor their silly ideas. DONE.
Now about work..
to be honest only last week I had a little panic attack in the car when when I started thinking about the future. We will be able to pay our bills and live on one wage, but I am not sure about paying back the debt..
I think I have got at least £800 in stuff that I can sell on ebay - I started doing it already. I also think if I am at home I will be able to cut down our grocery bills - I noticed that the more we earn- the busier we are - the more we spend on food and other things - just for convenience. I also hope that job hunt will take no longer than 2-3 months.
Fingers crossed.

elantan

I did that with my family about a year ago, only thing is i wouldnt feed them even if they were starving, there are soup kitchens for that , one of the best decisions i have made, life is so much more stress free with my family out of it, my family are like parasites that feed off of others, i could go on and on tbh, but it isnt that interesting lol

as for paying the debt back that can be done on one wage, let's face it life is not going to be a bowl of cherries, but there are many many ways that you can make the money you have stretch that wee bit farther, as you have already pointed out selling things will bring some money in, there are daily survey's etc that will make a difference,

and also like you point out, you will save money with not having to go convenience, i remember one job i had where i worked minimum 60 hour weeks i would have to eat burger king or mcdonalds as i had a very short time to travel from one place to another and there was no cooking facilities in either place ( it was hell, hated every minute of eating that rubbish but had no other option... i shudder when i think of it now) and my mobile phone bill would be £150 a month as some days it was the only way i got to speak to my husband or son .... so yes you will save alot this way

have you visited the O.S board yet? or the groceries board? those people can stretch anything really far, you will find that they have great ideas for saving on household cleaning as well .... the th ings i have found out that can be done with a bit of vinegar and bicarb are trully interesting

So, what are your plans? How can we help?

zephyr21

I like the comparison of the family to parasites, I understand it completely. I will not miss driving over 2 hours everyday and working weekends and Bank Holidays.
well, my plan is to survive the last 3 weeks of my job without snapping or burning bridges, or swearing, or walking out. in this time I will apply for at least 3 jobs everyday and go to the gym that I pay for but did not use (had a car accident so I could not use it for couple of months). I will not get upset or let them grind me down, I will build my self esteem back up. I will eat healthy and loose weight before the holidays. I WILL STAY AWAY FROM MY FAMILY and remove myself from stressful situations for a while- I normally like stress as it motivates me, but my body and nervous system needs to recover- recently I have been bashed mentally and physically. I will sort out my spending habits ( I checked and my mobile contract ends at the end of May - I will go pay as you go),
I WILL STAY POSITIVE AND I WILL NOT GET DEPRESSED,
I will sort out papers and organize folders for important documents.
I will go trough my uni books( finally, I graduated 3 years ago!) and sell the ones i do not want. I will finally meet up with the nice people that i normally do not have time for. I will research places to visit around my holiday destination and how to get to them cheaply.
I WILL BE HAPPY AND STRONG.

zephyr21

By the way, as I am newbiee please forgive the following question: what do you mean by O.S board? I have visited the grocer one - it is fantastic! also seen the weekly spend board- really good to.
love this site!