can my ex actually do this?

Scorpio33

Think about it another way...

.... when she was living with you, would it been right for him to be annoyed that you took the daughter and benefits away from him?

As many have said, it should be up to the daughter to decide, and the benefits should follow her.

I would have hoped that both parents are civil enough not to use children as a way of scoring points against the other ie: think about what is right for her (which is not necessarily what she wants...)

olibrofiz

IMO it all seems a bit quick to be talking about changing CB etc over to the dad after 3 weeks. The mediation might result in the OP's DD going home.

meritaten

I havent read any previous threads but I gather that OPs daughter is sexually active, has regular medication to take and also has some degree of learning/behavioural problem (as Cahms is involved).
My advice - hang in there. as Buggly suggests just text once or twice a day and if you have to pick up meds and remind them of appointments etc - NOTE in your diary you did so!
I would think that your DD thinks (rightly or wrongly) that at 'dads' she will be able to do as she pleases and believe me - after a while that wears off!
especially if you dont go off into orbit over it - and it dawns on DD that dad is not likely to remember appointments, medication etc and mum used to run round like a blue arrised fly for her!
OH and does ex realise if he is getting CB etc - it wont offset the cost of housing DD? - Try laughing at him and saying you will be financially better off..............????????
you may find he packs her back off to you when his bubble bursts!
Patience hun! I bet she will be back with you within six months!