can my ex actually do this?

daska

When DS1 moved to live with his dad they wrote to me to ask whether I wanted to give up the CB and, if I did, would I prefer to receive it for another x weeks (12?). So, no, he can't just flip it overnight. And he can't apply for Tax Credits until he has the CB.

But, at nearly 15, unless you can demonstrate that she's going to be put at risk, your daughter can call the shots. Neglecting her medical and emotional/psychological needs might be sufficient. But it would depend on the potential impact. e.g. Neglecting to pick up insulin is one thing, but a cream for athlete's foot is somewhat less urgent. If she starts skipping school that's more ammo.

You are between the proverbial rock and hard place. It's your daughter who has the rights, you only have responsibilities. And, TBH, once you've got to court, if the Judge feels it's not cut and dried and refers it to CAFCASS, they may not report before she's 16, in which case it's neither here nor there.

I do think you need to take proper legal advice as to your options and likelihood of success should you choose to apply for residency.

pyjamadays

the medication was anti-depressants. ive been told by the solicitor that due to her age she can choose where she lives, i dont think it would help to apply for residency of her as she'll pull away from me even more. i dont mind if she lives with him (not really true but dont want her to feel that she's not allowed to), im more annoyed that he isnt helping or at least waiting until the mediation has started properly.

BugglyB

I'm really sorry to hear about the problems you are having it must be heartbreaking. I dont have any other advice other than what my friends mum did in a similar situation - text her every mornign and night saying 'Morning, love you, hope you have a nice day' and 'Goodnight, love you' or something similar. She went home eventually after dad turned out not to be the promised land.

daska

BugglyB wrote: »

I'm really sorry to hear about the problems you are having it must be heartbreaking. I dont have any other advice other than what my friends mum did in a similar situation - text her every mornign and night saying 'Morning, love you, hope you have a nice day' and 'Goodnight, love you' or something similar. She went home eventually after dad turned out not to be the promised land.

Yes, good point, go with this. Don't do anything that appears to demand a response unless absolutely unavoidable. This is something DSD's mum never understood, she would insist on talking at DSD every day, with the result that DSD would do anything in her power to avoid it, just so that she didn't have to listen to her mum (it was never a conversation LOL). A drip feed of love and reassurance is far preferable.

Caroline_a

pyjamadays wrote: »

yes it is, but there are different kinds of safety involved here and in my mind she's better of with me. that is the reason she left in the 1st place, he lets her do what she wants. he didnt pick up her medication on time when i told him about it, hasnt taken her for a contraceptive dr appointment (this is the major issue in allowing her to do what she wants) and forgot about her cahms counselling appointment which i had also reminded him about. she actually isnt 15 yet until the end of the month but that makes little difference.

Are you saying that your ex is condoning under-age sex? I would say that's an immediate reason for her to be living with you. Also, taking the moral/legal argument away, how will he feel with a 15 year old teenager and a baby in the house?

neneromanova

Can you not pick up the medication for her and drop it off at her dads? That way you're showing her you still care for her and you also know that she is getting the medication.

System

Caroline_a wrote: »

Are you saying that your ex is condoning under-age sex?

I read it as the other way around. Mother wants her on contraceptives, father hasn't taken her to the doctor for it which turns the argument on it's head.

neneromanova

!!!!!! wrote: »

I read it as the other way around. Mother wants her on contraceptives, father hasn't taken her to the doctor for it which turns the argument on it's head.

In OP's other posts, she hasn't allowed her DD to have sex which is why she is now at her dads. OP wants her safe just incase she does, but the father seems like he doesn't care if she has sex and gets pregnant or not.

But then again we don't know if OP's DD's BF is allowed round the fathers house.

balletshoes

!!!!!! wrote: »

I read it as the other way around. Mother wants her on contraceptives, father hasn't taken her to the doctor for it which turns the argument on it's head.

if you read the OPs other recent thread, her daughter is already sexually active.

System

Fine, I was responding to #16 I was not aware that there was a previous thread that also had to be referenced because #16 was only part of the story