Anything for mum who's out of work due to disability?

Mupette

I would suggest SOA too, see where costs can be cut now.

look at electric and gas and see if you can get cheaper, same with phone, internet etc etc.

Food, make the change to get cheaper options..

good luck,

Broke_n_Broken

Hey, thanks for the added facts, they helped me come to the INFORMED opinion that you are bleeding your mom dry.
Personal reasons aside, the FACT is, at this rate, you saving for your own home is gonna cost your mom hers.
Do us, yourself, and most importantly YOUR MOM a favour and work out a few more facts like...
How much is it costing her to keep you?
How much would it cost her to keep the house if you weren't there?

That may open your eyes to why people have said what they have.

Truth hurts, FACT

Nine_Lives

Right then, onto the proper helpful responses...

Before i address them, i just want to point out this isn't seeking more benefits as i know what reception that gets here. It's me being concerned about my mum & wanting to know what can be done to solve a problem. Not just to temporarily patch it up, but to solve it.

McKneff wrote: »

Is everyone in the house working,

No. My mum isn't. My sister is in full time education which she finishes this summer. She'll then be seeking employment of some description.

You dont give ages of your siblings.

19 & 21.

How much is your dads pension.

£295pm

What benefits does your mother receive, ESA, DLA etc.

Incapacity Benefit & disability living allowance

So are there 5 people earning in the house.

Depends on definition of earning. 5 people have an amount coming in at some point during a month. 3 people are working full time.

Forget what is going to happen next year.

I like to plan ahead. Putting off something isn't a good idea IMO. I like to deal with the immediate & look ahead as well. My mum has a "cross that bridge when we come to it" attitude as well. IMO that's not a positive attitude, it's delaying.

Broke_n_Broken wrote: »

it's still cheaper than being independent.

Correct but so what? You say it like i'm complaining about paying extra. I can't see where i did ... because i didn't.

If your mom kicked you all out the bills would drop sharply, food, utilities, council tax and she could claim housing and council tax benefits

I'm not sure how sharp the food shop would drop. My mum gets in breakfast stuff (big bag of porridge - lasts ages), food for packed lunch for work (don't eat a lot & i buy my own filling for the buns). We have tea done for us 3 days a week & buy our own for the other 4 days. It's m y sister & brother who will cost a lot with the food.
I genuinely wonder how much her bills will drop when we leave. I hope significantly, but the one that you'd expect us to make a significant difference to (food), we don't.

I take it that by ICB you mean incapacity benefit (IB),

Yes. Sorry, i'm not too good with the jargon & abbreviations.

Dunroamin wrote: »

the answer is simple in that your mother should sell what must be a sizeable house

Why MUST it be sizeable? It's not. The kitchen is an ok size. The living room is average. It has 2 bedrooms which are a reasonable size & an average bathroom. That's it. No 5 bedrooms here.
I expected talk of selling the house. This option has already been considered & i'd ask for suggestions of other methods as this would literally be last resort as she doesn't want to sell. She'd basically have to get forced into the sale.

realise some of the capital to help with living costs.

Let's assume for a second that she sold (which as said, she would have to be forced into & it be last resort). If her expenditure is more than her income, then either way it'll eat into any savings. Plus i would assume that by a sale of the house & a nice wedge in her bank account from the sale, that her benefits would then either stop or be reduced considerably, so that the savings would then be eroded even quicker - due to expenditure being more than income.
Or am i wrong? This isn't me challenging what you've said. This is me asking whether i've got the wrong end of the stick here.

When she's on her own there'll be no need for a house that's large enough to house 5 adults

It isn't really. That's why we sleep in a caravan in the garden. It's bursting.

BigAunty wrote: »

Are you in rental accommodation?

No

duchy wrote: »

seems to be not only still carrying her own kids financially but a couple of other people's too

I must find that extra person staying here that none of us knew about.

BigAunty wrote: »

Is the house owned outright?

Yes

A person can save significant money living in a smaller place - less running costs.

Other than a 1 bedroom place you can't get much smaller. Anyway, as said, it'd be last resort.

Is it the case that she's currently running a 4 bedroom property?

Nope, it's 2 bed.

Mara69 wrote: »

Who actually owns the house? You and your Mum jointly, you & your Mum + a number of others or just your Mum?

My mum. Just her.

duchy wrote: »

Just as a matter of interest WHY don't you want your Mum to sell *her* home ?

Instead of fishing for something that isn't there, i've highlighted your problem above. It isn't >I< that doesn't want her to sell, it is my mum herself.
But then you've already decided that that isn't the case haven't you.

JodyBPM wrote: »

If all 5 of you split the bills equally, and your mum is contributing her £8600 per year (so equal contributions means that all 4 other adults in the house are contributing £8600 her year each) which equals £825 per WEEK for living expenses on a mortgage free 2 bed house. I can't possibly see how any household could be struggling on that, or how outgoings can possibly be more than incomings?

I know. I don't know where the money has gone either.
Though my gf has put me on to something tonight .......
I told my mum to keep a spending diary (i did this myself when i needed to control what was going where). She started, but forgot to write everything down.
So in the end i just calculated bank balance at the end of Jan & compared it to bank balance at the end of Feb. Feb was down.
HOWEVER, when we pay our board money, it doesn't get paid into the bank, it gets paid into a pot kept in the kitchen. This is how she requests it as she can then use this cash in emergencies & such. I've asked to pay direct to bank as it's easier via SO, but she wont allow it. There can be considerable amounts of money in this pot & this is what my gf reminded me of.
So Feb might not have been "money down" after all.

.

If you have money left to save for a deposit after having paid your 2/5 share between the pair of you, then that's fab, but if not, then surely you should prioritise your current housing arrangements over your future housing arrangements.

Agreed, however if we could no longer afford to save for the deposit we're looking for, then we would have to move now. It would make no sense for us to stop at home. At almost 30 & with a clash of opinions on how things should be done, i am really needing to move out. My gf has been itching for it for years too. My gf is 30 this year & has said that she wont have kids after 35. She's also said that she wants a couple years of house ownership before having kids. So IF we couldn't save for the deposit, then we'd have to move. It'd be stupid not to. That'd leave the bills split between my mum, my brother who works full time on about £230 per week & my sister who gets about £200 per month now that she's getting my dads pension. She only gets that because she's in education, so once that stops & her EMA stops, she'll be on job seekers until she finds employment.

£250-£300 per month per person, which is still far less than it would cost you to rent privately plus pay all your own bills and food yourselves.

Mortgage calculator suggests a monthly of £480pm on a 5yr fixed which splits to £240pm each for my gf & I.
I'm not saying i disagree with you that we should pay more. I'm just disagreeing that the figure you gave is not "far less" than rent (or mortgage) we'd be paying PLUS (plus you say, not inc) bills.

xylophone wrote: »

It would be reasonable to expect that she paid a portion of this towards
household costs.

Agreed.

You refer to the bills etc as your mother's but in fact they are household bills

My apologies. I should really learn to be more specific with what i type here. I should treat these kinds of topics like a disciplinary hearing because every letter you say gets scrutinized there. It'd make for a better understanding. No, i say they're my mums because they come out of her account. Yes they are household bills & i don't disagree.

and as I understand it, the other three adults in the house are working full time.

No. 2 of the other 3 are, the 3rd is in education.

Your mother should not feel bound to keep the house after you have all departed

She wants to. However you only have my word for it. As duchy has already decided exactly what is what, i guess the answer is that i held my mum at knifepoint & told her that she keeps the house no matter what as it's my inheritance money & that she's to leave it all to me & forget my brother & sister. That must be the more likely story surely.
But no, she wants to keep it. It's her choice. -

as she is disabled she might very well find a one bedroomed flat more manageable

Than a 2 bedroom house? She needs that extra room for all her bloody magazines!!

cte1111 wrote: »

OP would you like people to help you? It's just the way that you are insulting people on here makes it seem like you don't.

Of course i would & some people in this thread have been very helpful & a big thanks to those people.

However when you get stupid statements & accusations, why is it ok for these people to come out with that crap but it's not ok for me to respond?
Stupid statements such as "you bought an iPhone & you're struggling, that doesn't make sense". No idiot, i bought an iPhone when there were no problems, or did that possibility escape you?
And then the follow up of why not sell it. Yes, because £100 will stretch very far & the sale of my iPhone is the key to our lifes little problem.

Stupid statements! So what do these people expect? For me to not respond to that crap? Sorry, not going to happen. Insulting people on here? And the stupid remarks some people have come out with haven't been insulting? I disagree.

Thankfully some people are quite willing to help & i'm grateful for the replies from THOSE people.

The best thing for you / your Mum to do is a SOA (statement of accounts) and then we can all try and see where you can cut back or increase income so the outgoings are less than the incomings.

Statement of accounts?

cte1111

http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

Fill this in with your Mum's income and outgoings, then it will help you / her / people who are trying to help you work out how you can balance the books. Perhaps include the 'keep' money in the other income section.

Dunroamin

As you have a sister still in education, isn't your mother claiming child benefit and child tax credit?

Nine_Lives

Dunroamin wrote: »

As you have a sister still in education, isn't your mother claiming child benefit and child tax credit?

No & no.

Can she though? My sister is 21.

atrixblue.-MFR-.

tell mum not to have considderable amounts of cash in a pot in the house. tell her youd rather it went into her account or an account set up where by all of you pay money into it for her to access at any given time during an emergency, just incase the house get broken into and the pot dissapears.

look at things to cut back on for mum.

sky (subscriptions) would it be better to buy her a freesat box and have no payments to any subscriptions? with a free sat box you just the sky dish's equipment.

broadband, who is in your area who is cheapest provider but a good one visit samknows exchange checker enter you postcode or exchange name to find out who activated in your area.

mobile phones, hasnt taken on any contract phone for any of you? parents sometimes do understandable because credit does run out in times of need.

do you link the elecky from the house to the caravan outside?
would it be worth you buying a generator instead reduce the elecky bills. do you cook in the van has it got gas or do it in mums because it hasnt? if it hasnt buy a few gas bottles link up the van to gas bottles or buy a campers petrolium stove.

is mum on a water meter? with 5 adults in the house the meter can run very high indeed in usuage have a look at getting toilet bags to use the minimum of water when flushing toilet etc.

look at the must pay bils first, then structure the less important bills.

coucil tax mortage rent etc because mum isnt working due to illness disability is she paying at a rate she did when dad was working and pension coming in, have a look at reducing the amount of mortage payments for her.

T.V license, how much in advance is she if she is perhaps she could could take a break for a while if she in advance. you could actually ask for payment card and take over that for her during the break so she's not fallen behind or increase payment to it or pay off for this year if not much left to run on the remainder.

is mum subscribed to any insurance company's for coverage of tv's fridges freezers washing machines? if so how much EACH are they and are they worth the paper their written on cancel them or find a company that will insure all of them for one reduced monthly fee's if mum wishes to have them covered.

home insurance, find the best deals from what she pays now.

car insurance if there 2 cars or even three or four are they covered individually? how much would it be on a multicar policy?

is anyone learning to drive? how much is that costing mum? ring a few instructors in the area see how much they cost and run with the cheapest, sometime block booking are cheaper than individual bookings.

if you share bills evenryone needs to know what bill their paying by witch date and what amount, this can make it look unfair to some as one bill can be £13 while another be £50-60.

Nine_Lives

atrixblue.-MFR-. wrote: »

tell mum not to have considderable amounts of cash in a pot in the house. tell her youd rather it went into her account or an account set up where by all of you pay money into it for her to access at any given time during an emergency, just incase the house get broken into and the pot dissapears.

I've already suggested this, but she wont do it. If she needs to lay her hands on an amount then it's there. I know the negatives to this & personally i wouldn't have such an amount in the house, but i can't MAKE her put it in the bank. I can only advise.

sky (subscriptions) would it be better to buy her a freesat box and have no payments to any subscriptions? with a free sat box you just the sky dish's equipment.

We've already cut back on Sky. It was £80+ before dad died. It's about £25 now. Maybe slightly more, but not much more & we split the bill already

broadband, who is in your area who is cheapest provider but a good one visit samknows exchange checker enter you postcode or exchange name to find out who activated in your area.

I pay the broadband myself, so i'm selective of who i have. As this is coming out of my own pocket totally, it's nothing to do with the rest of the family. I have Zen - not the cheapest, but the best i've had by far.

mobile phones, hasnt taken on any contract phone for any of you? parents sometimes do understandable because credit does run out in times of need.

My mum has recently gone on a contract tarriff as it works out cheaper for her than the PAYG she was doing.

do you link the elecky from the house to the caravan outside?
would it be worth you buying a generator instead reduce the elecky bills. do you cook in the van has it got gas or do it in mums because it hasnt? if it hasnt buy a few gas bottles link up the van to gas bottles or buy a campers petrolium stove.

Yes the electricity is linked. The caravan is only used for sleeping in, so no, no cooking.

is mum on a water meter? with 5 adults in the house the meter can run very high indeed in usuage have a look at getting toilet bags to use the minimum of water when flushing toilet etc.

I don't THINK so, though i'm not entirely sure. I know she gets on at my brother for the amount of time he spends in the shower, but i think this is more electricity related than water related.

coucil tax mortage rent etc because mum isnt working due to illness disability is she paying at a rate she did when dad was working and pension coming in, have a look at reducing the amount of mortage payments for her.

No mortgage to be paid. As for the others, how does she look into whether she's paying the correct amount?

T.V license, how much in advance is she if she is perhaps she could could take a break for a while if she in advance. you could actually ask for payment card and take over that for her during the break so she's not fallen behind or increase payment to it or pay off for this year if not much left to run on the remainder.

Oh my!! Don't even start with her TV!! That's worse than taking her magazines away :rotfl:

is mum subscribed to any insurance company's for coverage of tv's fridges freezers washing machines? if so how much EACH are they and are they worth the paper their written on cancel them or find a company that will insure all of them for one reduced monthly fee's if mum wishes to have them covered.

AFAIK there's no extra insurance. AFAIK it was only the TV that had extra cover, but my dad already paid this.

home insurance, find the best deals from what she pays now.

This is one that's current as we've had a renewal note through. I've been on at her to go see an insurance broker. She's delaying because she doesn't know what to ask. I told her that she just needs to tell them she's looking for home insurance & they should ask the questions (i don't know, it's just what i'd expect) & then she reacts off of their questions.
She's waiting on her sister to "hold her hand" so to speak, but then with her dad dying last week it set things back a bit. We've only got until the end of the month.
But that's my mum through-&-through. She leaves things until the last minute & beyond, ALWAYS. Whereas my dad dealt with things immediately. My mum talks of "crossing that bridge when we come to it" regarding us all moving out. I say why not plan ahead? The same applies for house insurance. Why leave it until 31st March to sort out? Because i can see it being that.

car insurance if there 2 cars or even three or four are they covered individually? how much would it be on a multicar policy?

I did a multi car policy with Admiral a few years ago with my gf, but she didn't accrue any NCDs. I thought what a load of tosh that was. What's the point if i'm accruing NCDs but she isn't? Seems a bit of a con to me. Unless they've changed it & both people accrue NCDs now.

is anyone learning to drive? how much is that costing mum? ring a few instructors in the area see how much they cost and run with the cheapest, sometime block booking are cheaper than individual bookings.

Nope, we've all passed & we all paid up our own lessons anyway, and insurance. Oh except my sister - my mum got her insurance as she couldn't afford it.

if you share bills evenryone needs to know what bill their paying by witch date and what amount, this can make it look unfair to some as one bill can be £13 while another be £50-60.

My mum said she's happy with all bills being split & totted up & then that amount sent direct to her account via online banking, be it the 1st day or last day of the month.

Dunroamin

K_P83 wrote: »

No & no.

Can she though? My sister is 21.

No - I assumed she was younger.

baza52

So what does mum spend her money on?
where is it all going?