Anything for mum who's out of work due to disability?

Mara69

K_P83 wrote: »

we own the house outright.

Who actually owns the house? You and your Mum jointly, you & your Mum + a number of others or just your Mum?

duchy

Now pick up the teddy you threw out of the pram.

Big deal you "offered more" and she said no......and despite knowing she was struggling you left it there. Never occurred to you to drop fifty or a hundred onto the gas or electric bill? Buy the TV licence when it expired ? Do the weekly shop and pay for itevery week ? All things I did when I moved home after my marriage broke up despite the fact I was working and caring for a son with disabilities tooMy Mum said she didn't want rent either.....but as I'm not blind or stupid it was clear she couldn't afford to have us there rent free. In fact I won a competition during that time -£5000-The first thing I did was pay £1000 onto my Mum's creditcards and clear them -and then ordered some new flooring and paid to have it fitted but I didn't regard it as "doing her a favour" They were just things you do for family. (I'd have done it even if I wasn't living there)

I think you need to grow up, stop throwing tantrums and either pay your way or stop sponging and leave (Oh yeah you're planning to do that anyway aren't you).

Just as a matter of interest WHY don't you want your Mum to sell *her* home ? Is it because she wouldn't want to live in a cheaper and more managable property or are you trying to protect a future inheritence ? Oh you say "We" own the house outright -so if your names are on the deeds you presumably contribute to the maintaince too or is it actually your Mum's house and it's just "We" as in "What's Mum's is ours but what is mine is mine" ?

Talk about selfish !

(and yes you've got an I-phone but the bills aren't getting paid.......Do you really not get it?)

Dognobs

If she is so skint why does she have 2k in savings?

JodyBPM

If all 5 of you split the bills equally, and your mum is contributing her £8600 per year (so equal contributions means that all 4 other adults in the house are contributing £8600 her year each) which equals £825 per WEEK for living expenses on a mortgage free 2 bed house. I can't possibly see how any household could be struggling on that, or how outgoings can possibly be more than incomings?

I think you might want to rethink your statement that bills are shared equally!

Realistically, the simple answer is that ALL living costs, including insurance, food, gas, electric, phone etc are split 5 ways. On a mortgage free 2 bed house that should be a very reasonable sum for everyone to pay. If you have money left to save for a deposit after having paid your 2/5 share between the pair of you, then that's fab, but if not, then surely you should prioritise your current housing arrangements over your future housing arrangements. Realistically, very comfortable living costs for 5 people sharing a 2 bed house would very easily be covered on something like £250-£300 per month per person, which is still far less than it would cost you to rent privately plus pay all your own bills and food yourselves.

In the longer term, when you, your sibling and partners move on, mum can downsize to release equity and move to a 1 bed flat (rented or bought), which will give her a cash lump sum, plus much lower day to day living expenses.

dinkytoy

My mum is on the same benefits as yours OP and when I moved back in with her following a relationship break up I took over the household accounts and I found she was in debt to the gas/electric company so I paid this off out of my own money as she was refusing to take a decent amount of board off me. I then built up a cushion on this account to make things easier for her an my little sis when I moved out again, I also bought food, paid for my sisters school trip and paid anything else I could without upsetting her because it was the right thing to do as I wasnt a kid anymore.

My mum brought myself and my sister up alone, she struggled all through my childhood money wise and I still try to help her when can, my sister is taking her A levels presently then going to uni in Sept. and I was worried about my mums finances when she loses her child related benefits but my sister feels the same way as I do so she will use her grants and pt wage to replace this lost money because she feels the same way as I do, we owe our mum everything.

xylophone

I believe that you have previously said that your sister is in full time education but does receive a "pension" from your late father's scheme of around £200 a month until she has finished college.

It would be reasonable to expect that she paid a portion of this towards
household costs.

You refer to the bills etc as your mother's but in fact they are household bills and as I understand it, the other three adults in the house are working full time.

The bills should be divided between the four of you, five when your sister is in a position to contribute fully.

Your mother should not feel bound to keep the house after you have all departed - as she is disabled she might very well find a one bedroomed flat more manageable and any excess over the house selling price could be invested to give her more income.

Nine_Lives

duchy wrote: »

(and yes you've got an I-phone but the bills aren't getting paid.......Do you really not get it?)

What an idiot!! Do YOU not get it?? Think about it for a second.

I've had this phone for about 2 years now. I bought it when my dad was still alive & his income was helping cover the bills quite comfortably. How stupid. Was i to not buy the phone because i should've known at the time 2 years down the line my dad would no longer be with us & the money that it cost could be spread over ooooh, not a lot. A few months.

No no, i must surely have bought it SINCE we ended up in this situation, because that's what you're basically saying. Unreal!!

Watch your fellow finger pointers come & jump to your aid now.

I'll reply to the proper points after tea.

bigadaj

So why not sell it?

cte1111

OP would you like people to help you? It's just the way that you are insulting people on here makes it seem like you don't.

The best thing for you / your Mum to do is a SOA (statement of accounts) and then we can all try and see where you can cut back or increase income so the outgoings are less than the incomings.

Mojisola

xylophone wrote: »

You refer to the bills etc as your mother's but in fact they are household bills and as I understand it, the other three adults in the house are working full time.

The bills should be divided between the four of you, five when your sister is in a position to contribute fully.

Like xylophone, I don't see why adult children shouldn't be paying an equal share of the household bills. You all would be if you were sharing a house with other people.